I don't know about books regarding dealing with fear. Which, by the way, all equestriennes do. But a really nice book about riding in general is one called, "Centered Riding" by Sally Swift. It uses a lot of imagery to help you think about riding in other terms. Some people find this helpful, some do not. But, when one is afraid, I think it can be very helpful to have an interesting image or goal to focus on. Takes one's mind off of thinking about what might happen and brings one back into the immediate present , to thinking about such things as riding with "soft eyes" , or letting your legs reach down like the roots of a tree.
I don't know of any books or DVD's. I am only 3 weeks out from a concussion from falling off a horse. I tried to ride 2 days after(against doctors recommendation lol) and I was so scared my feet literally shook out of the stirrups. I'm still timid and nervous but getting better every day.
What helped me the very most was just riding the dead broke plodding school horses at my barn. Just being able to control a horse that was well known for being good with really small kids helped me start to regain confidence and relax again. Time and riding are the best things to conquer the fear, imo.
I googled confidence building on horseback and loss of confidence after my first failed riding attempt and found several helpful articles.