From your replies JustPaint, I feel that maybe you have to change your attitude towards riding. You come across as though you feel everyone else is in the wrong and you know best in regards to your instructor. Try to open your mind and instead of getting angry and frustrated by trying to push your 'ideas' of what horse riding is about, just allow your instructor to teach you what she knows. When you get more experience on a horse THEN you can start to question training such as using the reins to turn ;)
Horse riding and driving a car is actually not a bad analogy. A car is always waiting for you to tell it what to do, it will remain at one speed until you tell it to change speed, it will continue in one direction until you tell it to change direction... you want the horse to do the same.
Being a coach myself, it is very frustrating having beginners come in and because they've read books or talked to 'horsey' friends they think they know it all and it is **** hard to do my job in that situation without wanting to give them a slap round the ears! If I was coaching you, I would be putting you on a lunge rein and removing both your reins and stirrups, and do some balance exercises in walk, trot and canter, before allowing you to take your reins and stirrups back. You cannot attempt to control a horse until you are in tune with that horse and can easily move with it's movement. When you can feel it's movement and roll with it, then you can start to think about altering your body to make yourself a 'driver' rather than a 'passenger'.
Sorry you feel this way but your assumption quite misunderstood, things are not always as they seem. I seem annoyed in the posting because of tired of this. All I want to do is enjoy riding and feel confident riding a horse.
Yes I do read and watch videos but only to enlighten myself that way when I go and so/see it in person it "clicks." I NEVER claim to be the know it all or smart mouthed student. I know those types and I can't stand them, that's with anything though. I'm always willing and eager to learn, the issue I'm having is how people portray it. I don't like it when people get flustered and start yelling because that makes it even worse as I get nervous.
When I first started getting into the horses I worked for a trainer at a barn and the only thing she was interested in was $$$. So I really wasn't taught anything. Fast forward a year ago now. I was at a place where my friend's daughter taught lessons. It was a nice drama free barn and everyone is really nice. However when I took lessons with the daughter she made me feel absolutely stupid. She would belittle me, yell at me and make these rude snide remarks. How am I supposed to do these things when I don't know them. She's younger than I am and I can't tell you how many times I tried to hold back tears. My current trainer is better, although she can be pushy and get flustered. When she tells me to do something on a horse it can get overwhelming to me. However unlike most instructors she tries to understand, but I don't think she gets it.
I'm bouncing all over the place yet trying to steer this horse. I've been taught so many ways on "how to steer" its quite easy to become confused.
Like I mentioned above I would prefer to have been lunged, but none of the previous instructors thought it was necessary. I was told by the daughter that it was useless and that you won't learn anything. Thankfully since like to educate myself I know this is not true. Same with my friend telling me I won't learn anything from a "push button" horse.
Again thanks to researching, I know now that I need a different instructor, yet again. Kayty, I know you don't think much of me but honestly I wouldn't mind being a pupil under you. You have just solved a problem that took me 5 years to understand. Thank you.
One part of my journey is over and another one begins.