Okay, so I have a slight problem.. - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 16 Old 06-14-2010, 11:42 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Indiana
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Thumbs down Okay, so I have a slight problem..

I have been riding for 5 years or so,and I have fallen off my fair share of times and wound up in the hospital more than once.

Well, recently [a few weeks ago] I had a 4-H meeting and during it, I took a very hard tumble..I ended up with a concussion, whip lash, and a pulled muscle. It was in no way Summer's fault,and she even tried her best to watch her feet so she didn't step on me.

Well, I haven't been able to bring myself to ride her since, and I feel so bad. I'm not afraid of her, but I just don't feel as comfortable.

I've still been riding, but I've been riding Buttercup instead. I was wearing my helmet and everything during the time of the accident, so I don't know what's happening.

The problem is that my show is in a few weeks [July 4th] and my whole family is expecting me to ride Summer and they're all proud of me for riding her because I'm the only person who knows all of her cues and such...

I don't know what to do, and it also doesn't help that I have someone[a woman in about her mid 40's, I'm 15] ridiculing me, my horses,and my riding all the time...
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post #2 of 16 Old 06-14-2010, 11:51 PM
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Taking a tumble is a serious blow to your confidence. I've been there. You just have to force yourself up into that saddle the first time and every time after that will just get easier and easier. Also, if the woman is neither your trainer or your mother, then she has no business talking bad about you. Just ignore her.
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post #3 of 16 Old 06-14-2010, 11:53 PM
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I'd say just start out slow on Summer again, start at just the walk if thats all you feel comfortable with and slowly build up, but don't go beyond what your comfortable with, just get your confidence back. I'd tell however is ridiculing you off, or it you can't do that for whatever reason just walk away from her and say you can't deal with all that right now. If you tell your family that your just not comfortable riding summer and you'd prefer riding buttercup for the time being, I'm pretty sure they'd understand:)
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post #4 of 16 Old 06-15-2010, 12:04 AM
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Don't worry about it. When I took a fall off of Ice (at breakneck speed, to boot) it took almost three weeks to even get back in riding condition--I'd bruised my tailbone pretty bad coming down. As soon as I was able to walk and stand for an extended period of time though (I landed almost on my head, so there were a couple days where the heat and long periods of standing were out of the question) I was out working with him on the ground. Working with him for all of this time actually helps me a lot, because I know that he doesn't have a lot of pent up energy and he also listens well to cues.

Take things slow, and when you're ready to get back on her, you'll know. Just ride Buttercup in the show, and if that's not feasible, then don't feel bad about scratching. Don't push yourself to do something you're not ready for yet.
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post #5 of 16 Old 06-15-2010, 12:07 AM
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Its getting that left foot in the stirrup that can be difficult. Everything else will come back. It takes time to get over a nasty fall but time without practice will make you want to do it less. Think of things that you can do with her that make you feel more confident. When I took a spill from my boy, we had to go back to basics. All the way back. It took me a few times to force myself to get on. I had a friend walk me around like on a pony ride a few times around the ring and then pride kicks in. I still wouldnt break a trot with him. I went back to something he does really well. Turning. My poor boy was probably dizzy by the time I got up the nerve to ask for a canter. Getting back to the grunt work of riding helps the fear subside. Focus on your posture, your legs, your hands. It will go away, but you do have to work on it.

As far as the woman goes...
Ignore ignorant people. Thats what momma said! Some people have to put others down in order to feel better about their own insecurities. You would think that it is a trait of young girls but many people never grow out of putting others down. Unless she is a professional giving you advice that you have solicited, ignore it. If she presses the issue, respectfully decline her advice and move on. My horse is the object of scrutiny at our barn. He is studdish, nearly impossible to catch by anyone other than myself, not very personable among other things. When people mention these things to me (Nico was being a brat today and was picking on Rosie...and when I tried to catch him, he ran for the gate) all I say is 'oh my, he sure is a handful but...I sure do love that horse'. If you say it enough, they stop being tattle tails.
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post #6 of 16 Old 06-15-2010, 12:20 AM Thread Starter
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I'm glad that I'm not the only person that has issues with getting back on..and with the woman..it's not so much that she is saying things TO me as much as it is ABOUT me...it has been going on since I first started riding...It's not my fault that she can afford to buy her kids 15,000 horses and I get mine from auctions or horses that have been abused...I just wish the rich people would know what it's like to have to actually work with ahorse instead of just getting on and going...
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post #7 of 16 Old 06-15-2010, 12:25 AM
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People like her have more dollars than sense and from the sound of it, the only reason she is talking bad about you is likely because she is miserable herself. Just ignore everything she says about you. Why should you care what a snooty, stuck-up, spoiled, beyotch says anyway, right?
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post #8 of 16 Old 06-15-2010, 12:35 AM
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And if you need a good laugh, imagine her children trying to ride your horse...keep your head up. Focus on your riding and on your horses and someday an opportunity will come to show her just how good your 'poor old auction horse' is. I took my first horse as far as he could go in 4-H, we were 3rd in the state in WP and I bought him out of the auction with his halter grown into his face. I paid 50 dollars for the horse, 150 for a beat up show saddle, 15 for an all leather bridle and we were still successful. Shes just jealous because money can buy you alot of lessons, but it can buy you talent.
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post #9 of 16 Old 06-15-2010, 12:41 AM
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Originally Posted by HorseOfCourse View Post
It's not my fault that she can afford to buy her kids 15,000 horses and I get mine from auctions or horses that have been abused...I just wish the rich people would know what it's like to have to actually work with ahorse instead of just getting on and going...
There are so many people like this in the world. I had the same issue when I was about your age. I didn't even have my own horse at the time, I just rode horses for people that worked during the week and could only ride on weekends so that there horses would be "good to go" when they had the time to ride. One of them was a nice little paint horse trained for reining. With his owners permission I started working him Hunter. At the time our stable had shows, and we even had a President of our show committee. The president had a son my age who really really wanted to show hunter/jumper as well so she went out and bought him this 15K horse. Long story short the horse was always disqualified for throwing him. He rarely finished a course and NEVER finished a show. My friends were always telling me the mean stuff she used to say about me and the Paint and it got so bad she banned me from competing saying the paint was a dangerous horse.....just so her son would have no competition and could win high point or reserve high point even though he rarely finished any classes lol.

I know it's WAY easier said than done, but I would just ignore her.There is obviously something about you, or your horses, or both that makes her just turn green. Every time you hear her saying something mean try to turn it around in your head so that the true color of what she is saying shows....and know that it's pure jealously talking....

Oh, and by the way, there is nothing wrong with an affordable horse, or where you get it. Cinny happens to be a 600 dollar back yard pet, and I'm not shy of saying it. The trainer at my new stable says that he is one of the most promising horses she has seen in years...that when she has a whole barn full of 10K+ horses and spoiled little rich kids she works every day.

Last edited by Cinnys Whinny; 06-15-2010 at 12:44 AM.
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post #10 of 16 Old 06-15-2010, 07:35 PM
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Nothing to add re getting your confidence back - sooner you tackle it the better (from experience)

As for 'the woman'. In my experience people talk about you because they see you as a threat - perhaps she is upset that despite the fact she buys her kids expensive ready to go horses, you are actually doing better than they are with your 'common' types.

Just go and prove her fears right!

Only As Old As You Feel - Sometimes I Feel VERY Old
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