Doesn't like to turn on a dime which i need her to do if i want to barrel race her.
You've got bigger fish to fry before even
thinking about barrel racing.
Your mare may be 14, but I'll tell you that my 3-year-old is better broke than she is. It's all about training. And every time you are around your horse, you are "training" them whether you realize it or not.
doesn't respond without yanking which i don't like doing
.....
And how do i help her like the bit and respect/listen to it more?
So you
yank on her mouth? Am I interpreting you correctly?
To get her softer to the bit, the first step is going to be NEVER to yank on her mouth. Only ask as firm as you need to get a response. And always start with a "feather light" cue, and increase as you go.
I put the pressure(to turn her) behind the cinch and to go faster, i put the pressure on the cinch.
Myself personally, this is not quite how I cue my horses.
If I want my horse to move from a stop to a walk, I ever so slightly lean my weight forward (basically an invisible cue) and I squeeze evenly with both legs at their "neutral" point where my legs naturally hang.
To go from a walk to a trot, I squeeze with both legs in the same manner but I add a "cluck" sound with my voice. That is how they know the difference between a stop-to-walk cue and a stop-to-trot cue.
To go into a lope from any starting speed (stop, walk, trot) I will slide my "outside" leg back about 4 inches and bump with my calf while giving a "kissing" sound with my voice. I don't do anything with my inside leg. My right leg is the cueing leg for the left lead and my left leg is the cueing leg for the right lead.
When I ask a horse to move their body in other ways, it depends on what I am wanting to do. If I want to move the horses shoulder, I move my leg forward about 4 inches. If I want to move the horse's ribcage, I apply my leg in the neutral postion. If I want to move their hindquarters, I apply my leg about 4 inches backward.
So if I want to do a pivot, I will move my leg forward to push their shoulders in the direction I want. If I want to do a turn on the fore, I will move my leg back to move their hindquarters.
If I am doing a barrel turn, I am going to use my inside leg to push the ribcage outward while using my outside leg to keep the hindquarters inward, and using my reins to keep the nose tipped inward.
This is why if you can't control your horse's body with leg cues, you aren't going to be able to effectively do the barrel pattern.
I agree with everyone else that you need to get this horse's teeth checked, first and foremost.
And then you also need to find a trainer to take some lessons with. If you aren't giving your leg cues or your rein cues with the proper timing, your horse only gets confused and tries to fight you. (as currently evident)
what should i do, if she goes faster should i keep placing the leg pressure on her or should i release it and pull her back down?
First of all, you need to master leg cues from a
standstill. Teach your horse to sidepass, turn on the haunches, and turn on the fore. All while essentially standing still. If she tries to move forward or in a direction you don't want her, use your reins to steady her.
And this is why you need a trainer to help teach you timing. If you release your leg cue too soon, your horse learns she can ignore it. If you release it too late, she doesn't understand what the correct response was. We can't teach you timing on the internet. You need someone standing in front of you giving you instant feedback on your cues, to let you know if you released too fast, too slow, or just right.