Today I said, i'm going to ride my horse, Cloud. I got her all groomed and tacked up, got the mounting block, stepped up on it, and put my hands on the saddle.... and froze. I eventuall got on and just sat there, with her still tied and not going anywhere. As soon as she kicked a few times at some flies I decided that it was so dangerous and jumped off as fast as I could.
This isn't the first time this has happened either. I've only ridden my horses 2 times this whole entire year. And each time I was terrifed the whole entire time.
When I was 10, I fell off a horse that bolted at my grandfathers, when I was 13, I got bucked off my first horse that was very green. And now at 14, I fell off one of my horses that bolted. This time I fell straight on my back and could not breathe for a long time, and pulled my groin muscle.
I think i'm afraid of the horse bolting and me falling off. The horse that I tried to ride today, is dead broke and would never buck me off or bolt, and i'm sure of it. But as soon as I am about to get on any horse, I freeze, then decide to do something else.
I asked my parents if I could take riding lessons at the local place for $10 a lesson. But they said no. I thought that riding a lesson horse would boost my confidence. I am very afraid to tell my father that I am afraid of riding horses. For he, well, I can't really explain him in words, but he's one of those, tuff, horseman guys, and get's on a horse and tells them to go. And I feel if I tell him he might get mad at me and pressure me to get on. And then I would be embarrassed because I would freeze. I almost broke down crying becasue I kept telling myself to get on, but I couldn't.
Please, if you have any tips, please give them to me. As being 14, and loving horses and not afraid of them on the ground, and wanting to have a full horsey life, I need to not be afraid. Please give me some tips.