Rider Fear. Please Read - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 30 Old 05-29-2010, 10:46 PM Thread Starter
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Unhappy Rider Fear. Please Read

Sorry this is so long, but please read.

Today i said, i'm going to ride my horse, Cloud. I got her all groomed and tacked up, got the mounting block, stepped up on it, and put my hands on the saddle.... and froze. I eventuall got on and just sat there, with her still tied and not going anywhere. As soon as she kicked a few times at some flies i decided that it was so dangerous and jumped off as fast as i could.

This isn't the first time this has happened either. i've only ridden my horses 2 times this whole entire year. And each time i was terrifed the whole entire time.

When i was 10, i fell off a horse that bolted at my grandfathers, when I was 13, i got bucked off my first horse that was very green. And now at 14, I fell off one of my horses that bolted. This time I fell straight on my back and could not breathe for a long time, and pulled my groin muscle.

I think i'm afraid of the horse bolting and me falling off. The horse that i tried to ride today, is dead broke and would never buck me off or bolt, and i'm sure of it. But as soon as i am about to get on any horse, i freeze, then decide to do something else.

I asked my parents if i could take riding lessons at the local place for $10 a lesson. But they said no. I thought that riding a lesson horse would boost my confidence. I am very afraid to tell my father that i am afraid of riding horses. For he, well, i can't really explain him in words, but he's one of those, tuff, horseman guys, and get's on a horse and tells them to go. And i feel if i tell him he might get mad at me and pressure me to get on. And then i would be embarrassed because i would freeze. I almost broke down crying becasue i kept telling myself to get on, but i couldn't.

Please, if you have any tips, please give them to me. As being 14, and loving horses and not afraid of them on the ground, and wanting to have a full horsey life, i need to not be afraid. Please give me some tips.

Thank you
electrichearts is offline  
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post #2 of 30 Old 05-29-2010, 10:56 PM
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Would they let you take lessons if you paid for them? Also, you have horses and no coach? I am guessing because your Dad may/may not play that role?

I agree that a confidence building schoolmaster will definitely help you out. You need miles in the saddle without any major issues or problems.

As for Cloud, has she given you any reasons to doubt her? Or to be fearful of her? IE. Kicking, bucking, rearing, mean in nature, etc?

Tell us more.
MissH is offline  
post #3 of 30 Old 05-29-2010, 11:02 PM Thread Starter
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Well, i have asked if i could pay for them, but a-lass, my father said that i don't NEED a teacher and that he would be my teacher, and all he thinks there is to horseback riding, is knowing how to walk, trot, canter, and gallop on a horse.

I would love to learn how to jump and ride dressage. Since he has grown up a western rider, he does not know how to ride english let alone teach me how to do what I want to do.

And as for Cloud, she is perfectly funny. A wonderful horse! As I said she is dead broke and even my father has ridden her and my brother. So no, I am in no way afraid of Cloud as just a horse, buti riding her is a different.
electrichearts is offline  
post #4 of 30 Old 05-29-2010, 11:04 PM
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Do you have a friend or know someone who has a very safe, reliable horse? Sometimes you just need to know your horse doesn't want to eat you

Are you in a 4-H group? Maybe you could find some friends and go for rides together, with you riding their trustworthy horse and them helping work out the kinks in yours. I joined a 4-H group this year (I'm 13) and I've made friends who would def. help me out if I needed a confidence boost.

Would your dad let you have lessons if you paid for them? Why doesn't he want you to take them? Price, fear, protectiveness, does he realize it's important to you?

Good luck, and keep us posted!
equiniphile is offline  
post #5 of 30 Old 05-30-2010, 12:01 AM
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Also, you have horses and no coach?
Many people have horses and no coach
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post #6 of 30 Old 05-30-2010, 12:21 AM
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Deciding to go for a ride is not a confidence-booster.

If you have access to a computer, you could check out Parelli, where they explain that deciding to go for a ride is direct-line thinking (predatory): your goal of a ride overlooks what Cloud might need. I am not saying that Parelli is right on everything, but they are right on this predatory thinking (horses are prey animals). Your uneasiness about mounting may be an intelligent instinct that just saddling up & climbing on isn't so "savvy" (although you ascribed it to your prior falls). You could learn the 7 Games without an instructor (for just the price of the dvd & a rope halter, 12' lead, & a "carrot stick", all of which can be found cheaper than Parelli sells them for) as a start. They're groundwork that'd give you much more skill & confidence, & understanding of and partnership with Cloud, for when the time comes to ride. Plus, the mounting is not all in one step; there are safety checks/steps that you should learn. I hope that this helps.
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post #7 of 30 Old 05-30-2010, 12:59 AM
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When I was 14 my parents bought me my first horse. The first 3 months I owned him he was an absolute ANGEL, we won everything we entered and he never put a foot wrong. Then suddenly he started bolting, bucking and generally just being a big turd. At one point he bucked my coach off and she broke her collar bone. I lost all of my confidence at that point. Every time I got on I would walk and trot around a bit, but I was too scared to canter him in fear he'd run off, not to mention I wouldn't even get on him unless I had lunged him for like 20 mins first.

We ended up selling him (there's no way my parents were going to pay the board/vet/farrier/etc when I wasn't even riding) and I continued on riding some calm, familiar horses for the next while but I was never truly confident. After a while of switching around barns, trying to find my confidence I stopped riding all together. It took me nearly 2 years to realize that I REALLY, REALLY missed riding and at that point I started looking for horses to ride.

I found that taking a break from riding made me realize how much I love the sport, and how silly I was being before. I still get nervous sometimes when cantering or riding hot horses but I am now able to look past the fear and realize that the horse is just being the horse, just because he's quick or spooky doesn't mean he's trying to hurt me.

I think in your case it might do you good to stop forcing yourself to ride. Take a break. Spend time on the ground with your horse, lunge her, play with her, take pictures of her, just hang out with her - but don't feel like you have to ride her. She'll be ready and waiting for you when you're ready.
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post #8 of 30 Old 05-30-2010, 01:06 AM
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Do you even WANT to ride? Is this something you want to do, or are you being pressured? If you don't want to, hopefully you will be allowed to walk away. There are many hobbies out there, riding is not for everyone.

If riding is something you really want to do, you certainly need to be comfortable on the horse, no matter what discipline you are riding. Don't worry about whether you should be jumping or doing barrels, just learn to sit a horse. Whatever style tack you have, use that, for now.

Try going back to the very beginning. See if you can get someone to lead the horse as you ride her, so you can just reaquaint yourself with how it feels. If you are nervous, try circular breathing: inhale for the count of 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4, repeat.
Good luck, have fun and be safe.
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post #9 of 30 Old 05-30-2010, 03:35 AM
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i really feel for you and i know what is like te be nervous on a horse. i was when i first started riding my horse without an instructor. i think lessons would really help you, keep on at your dad. and if he still wont give in there is always time when you are an adult to take lessons, maybe you could get a job now? earn a bit of money and when you learn to drive, take yourself to lessons, there is always a long way around of your parents wont take you to lessons.

for the time being still try riding your horses, just 15-30 min walks would be fine for a nervous rider. your horse kicking at flies shouldnt be a problem, even the quietest of horses kick at flies, remember that your horse is not trying to get you off.

Keep your feet on the ground when your head's in the clouds.
speedy da fish is offline  
post #10 of 30 Old 05-30-2010, 07:42 AM
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Originally Posted by ThatNinjaHorse View Post
Many people have horses and no coach
I was simply confirming/trying to figure out whether or not her Father was playing that role or not.

Last edited by MissH; 05-30-2010 at 07:46 AM.
MissH is offline  

afraid , bolting , bucking , rider fear , scared

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