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So... Equinophobia...

3K views 15 replies 9 participants last post by  ecasey 
#1 ·
I think that I may have Equinophobia... I used to be fine. I'd ride with friends on trails and pretty much everywhere else. I have two horses of my own, a Missouri Fox Trotter gelding named Raider, and a mare who is a miniature horse named Echo, and I feel horrible for never being out there to be with them. Of course, I feed and water them but I used to be so attached to those two.. I feel like I'm neglecting to, know I KNOW that I am neglecting to give them the loving they need but I'm just... So scared. I don't know what's wrong with me. Can someone please help me? I cry just at the thought of riding but I cry harder at the thought that I'll never ride them, or any other horse for that matter, ever again.
 
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#3 ·
Firstly I think you should relax. there's no need to look at this as an all or nothing situation. It seems obvious that if you are distressed enough at the prospect of never riding your horse that you must love them, and the idea of riding them. It also seems however that you are a bit afraid to, at the moment.

So, you know what, that's totally OK, all of us have probably been afraid to ride a horse, or a particular horse, at one stage or another; I sure have. I guess Id encourage you to have a think about what it is exactly that you are afraid of. is it riding in genera?, is it riding one of your horses in particular? is it that horses are pretty big and strong? There are a lot of reasons that any reasonable person might be afraid of riding, so there's no need to feel bad about it.

I have ridden for a long time, and I have ridden some pretty nasty horses, and some really good ones too and I have started a reasonable number of horses off from scratch, and I have often felt a bit nervous about getting on them, particularly the young ones that might buck, so even with a fair bit of experience I still get nervous about it sometimes, I'm positive there's no reason you should feel bad about it if you feel afraid of riding either.

So keeping all that in mind, the reasonableness of being afraid, and the fact that riders with a bit of experience still get a little nervous, and I'm sure riders with a hell of a lot more experience than me do too, just think through why you might be afraid. Then think about what you can do to allay that fear. often tiny steps is the way to do it. If you are afraid to interact with a horse, start off small, just learn to be around it, to handle it on the ground. If you are afraid to ride it, just start off small, maybe just sit on it, take one or two steps at a time. build it up incrementally.

It means enough for you to have posted something on here about it, if you have a passion for it I'm sure you can overcome any fear you have.
 
#4 ·
natisha, I've ridden for about three maybe four years on some young, old, and in between horses... I've had some of the best experiences and some of the worst... I've been run over, kicked off, thrown into trees... But then again, I've never felt more free... And until last year, I was okay to ride them. I'd gallop, trot, walk, lope... If the horse could do it, I'd ride. I've gained plenty of phobias lately, I'm just not sure where they're coming from. I'm forcing myself NOT to panic, because I have severe panic attacks.


AnrewPL, I thank you for the advice. It's nice to hear such intelligence from people (I've given up on humanity, you see). How do you suggest I start off? The horse I have isn't completely broke but I've done it mostly myself. It's getting hotter here and humid and the horse I want to ride is a pain in the butt when he's uncomfortable (which is all the time). He's a picky eater and needs his feet done but that'll be done soon. I can't even put a saddle on him anymore because I can't bathe him. We don't have a high-tech barn and I have no real way of restraining him other than tying him to a post... But I've had bad experiences with that and he has too.
 
#9 ·
I've gained plenty of phobias lately, I'm just not sure where they're coming from. I'm forcing myself NOT to panic, because I have severe panic attacks.
It seems apparent that what you are going through is not limited to your horses or riding. I do think it is normal for all of us to have periods where we just don't feel "on top of things" like we should be, but if you have to force yourself to keep from having a panic attack I think it is definitely time to get to the bottom of this and seek some professional help
I hope you will be feeling better soon.
 
#5 ·
You can start off by standing him next to the post and feeding him something (anything he likes in small amounts). It doesn't matter if you're right next to it or ten feet away, whichever is easier for both of you. Gradually move closer to it, and continue feeding. This will get both of you to relax and help build positive associations Eventually, place the leadrope on the post. Reward and quit there. Gradually build up to him being tied, then wean off the treats so he no longer expects them. You can feed from the ground, from a bin, or from your hand.
This might not be the best way to do it, but it's A way to get started.

For saddling, start by rubbing his back with your hands, lightly applying pressure. Gradually build that pressure, then introduce the saddle pad. Rub it on him, place it on his back, press. Then introduce the saddle. If he doesn't want you to get close to him with it, just stand there until he calms down, then move closer. Take the steps gradually. Try to do this with him loose if you feel up to it, so you both don't feel trapped. When he's tied and comfortable with both situations at once, move on to the girth. Do it up slowly. Not scared, be confident, just SLOWLY. If he's a little uncomfortable, leave it until he relaxes, then do it up a little more. Then quit for the time being.

It's all a slow process, and you have to be as stubborn as... Well, a mare that doesn't want to do what she's told. Go into this with the mindset that you WILL accomplish something, no matter how small.

I am by no means an expert. Please note that I said you CAN start like that, not that you SHOULD. You don't have to take any of the advice I gave you (in fact, you probably shouldn't) except the last paragraph. Set yourselves up to succeed, not to fail, and you'll both be better off for it.


Train Your Horse to Tie Safely | TheHorse.com
Random article that may or may not be helpful. It's information, take it or leave it. :)
 
#6 ·
It sounds to me more like you've been unlucky enough to develop an anxiety disorder. Just the fact you say you've recently developed a lot of different phobias...that says to me that this goes deeper than just horses.

Anxiety is a serious illness. Often there will be an event that precipitates it, like one of the big issues in life (ie. Death in the family, major illness or injury, family break up, divorce etc) Some people find it goes hand in hand with depression.

Have you spoken to your family and or a doctor about how you are feeling? Often it helps to bring the fear out into the open. It may be that you need to talk to a counsellor or you may need medication to help bring it back under control. As you are no doubt aware, anxiety is an absolute b@tch to deal with, I know quite a few friends with varying degrees of it.
 
#7 ·
Thank you for all the advice. I've had trauma that I have brought up. I've done things to try to get it out in the open but... There's only one true friend who actually believes what I've experienced.

I used to lead him around for a while with a saddle pad on him. I'd lead him all over the pasture. Then I'd get the saddle and put the girth on VERY loosely and lead him around like that. But ever since he has become blind in one eye, he kicks when the saddle is even near him. I can't put the halter on, actually, because he broke it. I'm going to have to buy a new one because the turd broke it when he spooked from the saddle, ran me over, and broke the lead rope as well.
 
#8 ·
"Anxiety is a b**ch to deal with"
Amen. That it is.
Something I've noticed is that, since people tend to disregard anxiety as meaningless, mindless fear and an exaggeration (no joke, people have said this), that being around horses can help that. You'll both begin to get over the fears and your anxiety will lessen. Talk to him, and I swear, it's like they understand. It's helped me through quite a bit, and I hope it can do the same for you.
 
#10 ·
As someone else who suffers from anxiety, I would say “Get thee to a doctor, stat”.

I went through some trauma (horrifying car crash where I could easily have been killed, tumultuous/emotionally abusive marriage leading to divorce, being harassed by the woman my ex cheated on me with, job loss) and developed something akin to agoraphobia, along with an intense anxiety disorder that affected my life greatly for several years. Going to a doctor and getting on medication was one of the best things I ever did for myself, as it allowed me to live my life again.

Part of what medication does is act like a cast on a broken bone. One thing therapy taught me was that to begin healing, you HAVE to do damage control, and medicine is part of damage control. If you break your leg, are you going to keep running a marathon like nothing is wrong? Absolutely not. You need to stop, assess what the damage is, and then treat the damage. You also need to care for your body and mind so they can HEAL.

Medication and therapy are godsends. I no longer take medication but it helped me get through the toughest parts – I was so stressed at one point that I would burst into tears at work at the drop of a hat. I used to have to sneak into the private bathroom just to get it out of my system so I could get through the day.

One thing you can do in the immediate scenario – GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION NOT TO RIDE. Your horses are not going anywhere, and riding will still be there when you are ready. For the moment, just enjoy them. Enjoy their company. Enjoy grooming them, do groundwork with them, take them for walks or jogs (minis are awesome for this!). You may find that control on the ground translates to feeling more in control when you are ready to get back into the saddle. You might even look at taking some driving lessons for the time being! It’s definitely fun and an excellent thing to try.
 
#12 ·
I got him to let me groom him! He was nippy when I went to clean out his feet but holy crap! I ACTUALLY got to groom him! No halters or ANYTHING! I went down there to turn the water on to fill the troughs and I thought Hmm... Maybe I should try what the advice-givers said... I was scared to the maximum because he kept whinnying at me but... I did it! He stood perfectly still when I did ALL of it! I didn't give him any treats because I didn't have them at the time but I did give him an amazing rub down. Poor guy's shedding so bad that he's not sure whether the ground has grass or his hair! Now I need to work on getting him bathed... Is there any advice you can give me?
 
#14 ·
As others have said, do give yourself permission not to ride. Simply your presence means a lot to your horses, and grooming is great. Riding is not the end-all be-all of horse activities; there are lots of non-riding things you can do! If you feel up to it, even just getting a halter and leadshank and taking a horse for a walk where you would usually ride can be a great thing to do. I do it all the time with my mare! My body isn't always up to riding - my anxiety about life in general makes me so very tense. So on those days I take my girl for a walk, and we have a nice relaxing time looking at the scenery together. We both get to have some exercise and a successful day that way, where maybe riding would be too much.
 
#15 ·
Well done! But hey, don't start putting pressure on yourself to do more yet, so don't worry about bathing him. Focus instead on being able to minimise that fear you felt about grooming him. If he is shedding he will LOVE grooming, all those itch spots to scratch! I like to pluck the hair out of DDs pony :) but she is a welsh and a hairy little monster in winter!
 
#16 ·
I'll share a little technique I've used on and off for my whole life in dealing with anxiety. I had a terrible bout of post-partum depression years ago, and this helped me dig myself out of that dark hole.

When I start feeling negative emotions overtaking me, or if I start imagining things are getting bad (feeling anxious, imagining bad things are going to happen), I picture a white bubble of light surrounding me. You can call this white bubble whatever you want. For me it was the positive force of pure love. For others it might be God's love. Whatever works for you, it doesn't matter. All you need to believe is that there's a positive force out there in the universe that can repel all darkness.

In this bubble, I was safe. Bad thoughts, negative energy, darkness could not enter. It just bounced off. Whenver I felt negativity trying to intrude, I imagined strengthening the bubble, and I pictured that white light so bright, no darkness could break it apart. It helps me to remember that in a dark room, a single spark of light from a match can light the whole room and dispel that darkness, but in a room full of light, a speck of darkness is meaningless, negligible. So that means, in other words, that light is more powerful than darkness.

It takes concentration and practice, but if you work at it, you can bring that bubble up around you in a half-second and banish the bad thoughts and worries away.

I didn't learn this from any therapist or doctor or anything. It just seemed like the thing to do at the time and it's always worked for me, without fail. Might as well give it a shot if you are having trouble with negative thoughts or feelings and don't have access to doctors or medicine, or if those things aren't working for you.
 
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