Tactful way to help hubby with riding - The Horse Forum

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post #1 of 21 Old 07-07-2008, 10:32 AM Thread Starter
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Tactful way to help hubby with riding

So my hubby is a newbie to the horse world-had never been on anything but a "rent-a-horse" that plants its nose in the butt of the horse in front...anyhoo...I've been rather proud of him giving it a go, but his form is often times HORRIBLE. :roll: He tries, bless his heart, and I'm a nag...

His worst habits? Wants to raise his elbows to shoulder height like he's short behind a steering wheel (his elbows come up all the time, though-eating dinner..driving..SLEEPING! LOL) So short of tying his arms down to his belt, I'm not sure how to tell him to stop. He gets cranky when I remind him, but I can't let him ride his horse like that-it's confusing to poor Rocky.

The other thing, is how to get him to not slouch and pull his knees up. I think if someone else were working with him, he would listen better..you know it is with married couples sometimes. I don't want to ruin his fun and make him not want to ride, but GEEEZ, it's been over a year and he's still "steering" his horse from a fetal postitiion.

Any ideas on tactful suggestions and descriptions? I'm fairly blunt, so I need help on instructing a total novice.
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post #2 of 21 Old 07-07-2008, 10:38 AM
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It's a guy thing.... I wouldnt worry as much about the slouching and leaning back... but the riding like a chicken flapping in the breeze has always bothered me... TRY to fix that ... somehow... teehee... good luck with that!
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post #3 of 21 Old 07-07-2008, 10:43 AM Thread Starter
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The "fetal position" did improve some when I bought him some better underwear
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post #4 of 21 Old 07-07-2008, 11:41 AM
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This makes me laugh.

Hubby had ridden for years, but never had any formal training. Just jump on and go. A couple of years after we got together we purchased the full brother of my guy for him. He's a good horse but very sensitive. Hubby tried to do the jump on and go thing with him and the poor horse was so confused. Toes down, shoulders and hands way up, shoulders and elbows flapping, half neck rein half direct rein.........

I'm a stickler for equitation and tried to offer some suggestions but it always ended in an argument.

So, in comes Jill, a trainer in our area. I told her the moment she stepped out of truck that she was here to save our marriage.

Hubby has taken several lessons each year, those combined with me taking pictures to show him what he looked like has made a huge difference.
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post #5 of 21 Old 07-07-2008, 12:08 PM
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Re: Tactful way to help hubby with riding

Quote:
Originally Posted by barefoothooves
His worst habits? Wants to raise his elbows to shoulder height like he's short behind a steering wheel (his elbows come up all the time, though-eating dinner..driving..SLEEPING! LOL)

The other thing, is how to get him to not slouch and pull his knees up. I think if someone else were working with him, he would listen better..
It must be a man thing... my son does exactly this same stuff. I got so fed up with him that I said, NO MORE SADDLE until you at least get your hands under control. It is getting better and I'm soon going to let him trot And ya, I think you're right about someone else would have a better audience. I've seen it in skiing, computers, horses... But, short of running an alias while riding, unless you/he are willing to pay for lessons, I think you're out of luck on that one!
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post #6 of 21 Old 07-07-2008, 03:28 PM Thread Starter
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Oh, I don't mind paying for someone else to coach him. Just getting him out in front of other people is the hard part. He knows he's a "flapping fetal chicken", just doesn't want anyone else to see it or point it out, ESPECIALLY ME! LOL

Just thought someone would know a way to say" Sweetie, put your darn elbows down!" nicely. Glad to know mine isn't the only guy that does it.

Now, if I could just tame them in his sleep...for now I just "accidentally" smack him back in "my dreams" when he asks about it. :roll:
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post #7 of 21 Old 07-07-2008, 03:41 PM
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Quote:
"flapping fetal chicken"
my keyboard now has coke all over it... my nose burns, too, from the coke escaping

We have mirrors where I taught the boyfriend to ride. If I told him something and he thought I was full of it, i'd tell him to look for himself...that fixed that pretty darn quick.

kickshaw
Justin (qh/tb)
Boo (asb)
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post #8 of 21 Old 07-07-2008, 04:27 PM
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On the subject of boyfriends and husbands...

How many of yours have tried to MANHANDLE your horse into behaving? I don't know how many times I had to yell at mine for:

Wrapping the leadrope around his hand...
Holding the leadrope way up under the halter...
Trying to force my non-behaving horse to hold still by putting his arm around his neck and leaning down on him!

LMAO... I'm sure there is more... he's actually a very knowledgeable horseman now... I geuss it comes from spending the last 15 years with me (6 as my boyfriend and 9 as my husband)...
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post #9 of 21 Old 07-07-2008, 04:34 PM Thread Starter
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Farmpony, my EXhusband was/is like that. He would bully them beyond that, and even tried to manhandle the hogs we raised. :roll: There's a reason he's my EX!

I do find it funny when a guy thinks he can outmuscle a 1,000lb+ critter that's carrying him. LOL I'm thinking..uh.......you know, they can totally toss your butt off. Funniest thing I saw was my ex trying to outmuscle a donkey. The donkey won...drug him halfway down the mountain and stopped in the river. He coudn't get that burro to pull anything after that, didn't matter what he did, but I could do anything with (the burro), ride him, hitch him up or catch him. But then, I was NICE, yet firm, with him.

My now husband is gentle and sweet, which can be bad, too. A little too passive at times, but I think he's holding back sometimes because he's afraid he'll never hear the end of it from me.
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post #10 of 21 Old 07-07-2008, 05:07 PM
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He's been watching too many cowboy movies where they flap their arms like a chicken as they ride off into the sunset.
Tony does it too.. at a lope or gallop. I did send him off for lessons from an old cowboy, I'm sure that where he learned it. He claims its correct. I say whatever gets you down the road. I don't care if he starts crowing as long as he is riding by my side.
I can give you the number of the fellow that he took lessons from. He is an old cowboy, a manly man sort of fellow that my man felt comfortable with. If he's anything like mine, he's not going to learn from you, he needs to learn from another man.


"Until one has loved an animal, part of one's soul remains unawakened..."
- Anatole France
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