Teaching the basics to adult beginners - Page 2 - The Horse Forum
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post #11 of 17 Old 10-17-2010, 03:16 AM
Join Date: Oct 2010
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Unbelievable. (But I believe you.) Too much responsibility on you. Why won't these 2 take proper lessons from a professional instructor? Not good for your relationship to teach your boyfriend. REALLY not good. I don't need to know about horses to know that. Maybe he is afraid to take lessons and make mistakes, but if he tries to learn from you, this will just end in conflict between the two of you. He should learn and make his mistakes with an independent person. Also unfair that your friend is leaning on you and not getting lessons. Too much responsibility for you - say no and send them off for lessons. Or ride with other friends.
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post #12 of 17 Old 10-17-2010, 09:01 PM Thread Starter
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Location: Watertown, MN
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Boyfriend has no real interest in horses beyond occaisionally riding with me. He's done ok so far, though I wouldn't take him on a trail ride on either of my horses.

I'm not really worried about it causing problems with our relationship. I'm not afraid to be "mean" when it comes to my animals and he's the same way with his hobbies.

Friend has only ridden a couple of times in the last month. She didn't listen terribly well either time. First time Soda didn't listen to her at all and then Lily "ran away" with her the other day. Now she's much more willing to listen.

Friend just doesn't make (or have) time for lessons and doesn't "really" think she needs them. As I said I'm overly picky with my horses and I'm not afraid to speak up when they aren't doing something right.

It actually hasn't caused any real problems as of yet, beyond momentary annoyance that is. Thanks for your advice though!
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post #13 of 17 Old 10-18-2010, 12:50 PM
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Originally Posted by MN Tigerstripes View Post

It actually hasn't caused any real problems as of yet, beyond momentary annoyance that is.
And that happens to 'professional' instructors too!
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post #14 of 17 Old 10-18-2010, 12:54 PM Thread Starter
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I can imagine!

The bf basically just sits on Soda and Soda follows me around. It works for riding around the house. If he ever wants to trail ride he'll have to learn more and that's all there is to it. It's not my problem really. I've set the standard and it's up to him to decide if he wants to go forward.
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post #15 of 17 Old 10-21-2010, 08:15 AM
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Location: MI
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Sometimes pictures of them riding or even a video will help. That way they really see what your talking about, because us adults don't like to be pointed out things or told were doing something wrong (lol). I once took a picture of my hubby riding his QH and his hands were clear up by his head, which also meant his reins were so loose, when I showed that to him he realized how dumb it looked and that he had no control.
Also, if your friend is a little older and its been numerous years since she rode, she may have done a lot of the self taught thing and back then things were so much different (just hop on and go). When I learned to ride I was hanging out a neighbors who had some Welsh ponys and after awhile she finally said "if your going to hang out here all the time, then you need to start riding that pony and ride bareback." So I just learned basically on my own and get a little defensive now when I am pointed out that I'm doing something wrong. I was riding with another friend a couple of weeks ago and she is also a trainer, but when I asked her to point out stuff she did a great job of explaining WHY you do it this way and how it WILL help both the horse and rider. So if you could maybe explain the why, like: "Hey, if you hold the reins and hands off the neck it will...." Then maybe she won't get defensive.
Good luck.
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post #16 of 17 Old 10-21-2010, 08:34 AM
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My husband would also NEVER take lessons from a professional instructor. Just not something he would do because he is stubborn. We are not at the point of me teaching him how to ride because we dont currently own our own horse, however when the time comes, I plan do pretty much what everyone has said here.

You just have to remember to be patient. Instead of telling them everything they are doing wrong, try to put a positive spin on everything. "Your leg position looks great! Remember to keep those heels down". Something to that effect.

Also, I am not sure if you are working with them both together, but you may want to keep them separated until they both get a general grasp of everything. If your bf is anything like my husband, he will get embarassed quickly if anyone else is watching him ride. Working with him alone will make sure that he doesnt get overly defensive about anything and you will be able to keep your eye on him and only him.

Good luck :)
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post #17 of 17 Old 10-21-2010, 09:08 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks guys. I like the "explaining why" that will probably help with both of them. As of now the Bf has ridden maybe 3 times this summer and the friend has ridden twice, so the whole lesson thing never really materialized.

Those couple of times I've basically given points when A. They are hurting the horse (i.e. jerking on their mouth, kicking to go, but saying/pulling "whoa") B. I'm worried about them hurting themselves. Otherwise I've just kind of let them be.

Bf really doesn't want to take direction, but he really wants to ride Soda (if we ever trail ride together). If I could trust Soda to behave he could probably handle a trail ride. But as of now it's not a reality.

Friend never has any time (stay at home mom w/ 2 kids that runs a daycare and is starting another small business) and doesn't want to listen. We did do the "run around like crazy" thing when we were kids. I had riding lessons and had been riding literally since before I could walk. She met me later in life and we just put her on bareback and she figured it out w/ trial/error. So she has the typical bad habits of that type of riding added to the 10 or so years of no riding. Which isn't a huge deal, I had/have a ton of bad habits that I work to correct every time I ride.

Anyways, I've since realized she doesn't really want to take lessons, she just wants to get on and ride around. So Lily is "safe" around the house, so I let her ride the other day. After having Lil "run away" with her a couple of times, she was more cautious. Thankfully. I was able to give her a couple of pointers too. We'll end up taking it one ride at a time I'm sure.

But thanks for all the tips! I'm thinking of using some of them for my neice until I can find her riding lessons close by. No one's really willing to do a lot of driving, so my options are much narrower.
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