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Hmm... all of these stories don't sound too good... it makes me very thankful that I ride with two great instructors! One of them has me riding on a lunge line for the first half of the lesson. Whenever I start to use my hands more than my seat, she makes me ride on the buckle walk, trot, and canter, using only my seat and body to slow down the horse. It helps SO much, and it makes me disappointed that so many coaches are teaching the 'reins to stop' way. However, I can understand that some riders are still getting the hang of it, and- especially in shows- they might forget about using their seat.
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I think that is absolultey amazing anrz! You have a great coach! Your coach is 100% in this for your education, and I say bravo!