what am i doing wrong?!?

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what am i doing wrong?!?

This is a discussion on what am i doing wrong?!? within the Horse Riding forums, part of the Riding Horses category

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        08-12-2011, 12:55 AM
    Unhappy what am i doing wrong?!?

    This is mostly to rant and get stuff off my chest.

    Well im riding a friends horse and he can be pushy but I try to be pushy back and I feel mean because he just acts like he's confused when I push him and try to make him mind. I can't get poles down and got really mad today for I guess no reason and I think overwhelmed myself going into practice today. Then I tryed to switch patterns and go to flags and barrels and still just felt mad at myself and told myself I couldnt do it. I can't sit the trot or feel right during the faster gaits, is this just me expecting to much out of myself. Have been doing alot of practicing and stuff latly am I pushing myself or just need to work slower? I really don't get why I can't get the trot down then I find a new problem in my riding where I move my legs to far forward and don't keep them under me for a better ride... I feel stressed and unhappy just can't sleep :/ someone help please
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        08-12-2011, 12:57 AM
    Green Broke
    Honestly just take a deep breath relax and don't expect soo much. Go into practice with one or two small goals for example trot for 5 steps or 10 steps or get your feet under you for 10 strides set little goals each time you go :]
        08-12-2011, 01:03 AM
    Thanks, my friend who is helping me learn more on all the speed patterns told me just to forget what happened tonight and its just hard because I push myself to do my best and when I screw up big time I don't blame the horse I blame myself even if he is being a butt. He's stubborn and pushy but I can't blame him for me not knowing alot and feeling stressed and just pushing myself hard and then not getting what I wanted in practice. I know horses can feel it and maybe I should of just stopped but how can I be more pushy and not such a pushover.. he will keep acting buttheadish if I keep being sensitive.. I don't know how to stop being gentle handed..
        08-12-2011, 01:08 AM
    Green Broke
    Dont be afraid to get after him its ask , ask(with more force) and then tell. Make him realise you are in charge but only focus on one thing so if you are working on a pattern and say he decides he doesnt want to go around the barrel stay on that barrel and make him circle it 2 or 3 times
        08-12-2011, 01:13 AM
    He likes to turn the first barrel to tight even with the owner, aka my friend who has rode he whole life.. runs his shoulder right into it but its worse when im on, how do I stop that?
        08-12-2011, 01:21 AM
    Green Broke
    Push him right past hit rock his mind don't turn it right away and then keep him circling it but lift his shoulder up with the leg closest to the barrel and the rein closest to the barrel
        08-12-2011, 01:30 AM
    Alrighty.. tomorrow I will try that. Thanks
        08-12-2011, 01:40 AM
    Green Broke
    Your welcome :]
        08-13-2011, 12:55 AM
    Also, there is a difference between being demanding and consistent, and being mean. Women have a lot of trouble with this, usually (no, not all women, but women do have a bigger problem with this than men do).

    Figure out what you want from your guy, communicate the expectations clearly, and deliver feedback to him on a very consistent basis. If he's doing it right, let him know. If he's not, let him know that. Don't let your standards slide. This is "consistent", not "mean".

    A big part of this is not taking it personally when he misbehaves. It doesn't mean anything at all about *you*, so there's nothing to get mad about, but it is something you need to correct. Remember: It may be at you, but it is definitely not ABOUT you.

    In this way, as far as I can tell, horses are just like kids...got to provide very consistent feedback and firm boundaries to both, very important not to take anything they do personally...

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