Why do I feel so clueless?
   

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Why do I feel so clueless?

This is a discussion on Why do I feel so clueless? within the Horse Riding forums, part of the Riding Horses category
  • The best thing to do when feeling clueless
  • Clueless horse owners

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    02-10-2014, 08:33 PM
  #1
Yearling
Why do I feel so clueless?

I have a TWH. This girl has a Thorobred jumper, a very nice horse, but needs to be ridden more often and this girl only rides once a week. The horse can find lots of reasons to get mad and bolt. The horse is now for sale. I asked the girl if I could just ride her for a few minutes. All I really wanted to do is soften the horse and see if I can get some kind of communication going.

I ride for 10 minutes, just getting the horse round between my hands , legs and seat. The horse's attempts to shut down are becoming less and less. So I am really enjoying this. She's relaxed enough to do a bit of lengthening and shortening at a walk. She's really stretching out nice.

Then the trainer/BO jumps into the ring and says "you are making her mad and she is going to bolt!." She says I'm annoying the horse too much and you don't ride jumpers that way. So she keeps directing me about what to do and not do. She says not to use any leg because the horse wrings her tail when I do.

Then she says I should take some dressage lessons. I say I'd love to when I have some money.

I was deep into dressage many years ago. I try to keep my basics and ride any horse based on that. I'm really not having any problems.

BO/trainer says a lesson with her will get me and get my horse gaiting to our full potential.

I have no problems with my gaited horse. She is gaiting to her full potential when she nods, and her ears flop with the rhythm (that's what a TWH does). What I am working towards with her is more consistency. I can't say I've ever pi$$ed any horse off. And I certainly don't need to use any muscle or heavy hand to get a horse to communicate.

Maybe this trainer is being melodramatic. If she couldn't teach a rider to not let her horse bolt off in 2 years, maybe she just didn't want me accomplishing anything without her input and in front of a group of people who board there.

I just really don't think I'm doing any harm without the lessons. I feel like I'm doing just fine by myself and getting what I ask for with a horse. Just by listening to the horse, and the horse listen to me. My gf coaches me from time to time and I know what I need to work on.

I just end up thinking that everything I do needs to be corrected.
     
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    02-10-2014, 08:49 PM
  #2
Weanling
In this case I think the best thing you can do is just keep doing your own thing. Don't take it to heart.

The trainer really had no business telling you you need lessons, but all you need to say is "thanks for the offer, I'll consider it."

You can't change some people, and you'll run into people you don't agree with for the rest of your life. All you can do is move on. If what you do works for you and your horse, keep at it.
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    02-11-2014, 06:20 AM
  #3
Weanling
Quote:
Originally Posted by princessfluffybritches    
I just really don't think I'm doing any harm without the lessons. I feel like I'm doing just fine by myself and getting what I ask for with a horse. Just by listening to the horse, and the horse listen to me.
This is exactly how I feel when it comes to my horse. I used to take lessons with him, but it's been a while. I know they are valuable, but I get really anxious and I feel like I ride worse during a lesson. When it's just me and my horse, I feel fine. I can think clearly, I can read his body language, and everything is a lot less stressful. Lately, if I have an issue or need some advice, I read books or articles on the topic, or talk to my BO about it.

I'm not trying to train a world class horse by myself or anything, I just want to keep my horse in shape and maintain a happy, harmonious partnership with him. No lessons required for that.
     
    02-11-2014, 07:00 PM
  #4
Weanling
Whilst I think that every rider could improve with the right trainer, I also think that no trainer at all is better than a bad trainer.

If you are doing well with your horse, I don't see why you "should" take lessons with a riding instructor that you probably don't like.
     
    02-12-2014, 12:38 PM
  #5
Yearling
I think it was done for drama. If you're on a horse, and her back feels relaxed, and she's not fighting you, but tests you, does this sound like the horse is going to bolt??? I got on her because I realized that she only bolts with her current owner because they get into a battle where the girl is almost punishing with the reins. I would bolt too. The horse has been refusing jumps with her probably because of the battle with the reins on the other side of the jump.

I love Thorobreds. I like the sensitivity and their honest reactions. You can't fight them. I think on a bolting fighting horse, it's best to just keep them walking and softening and ask them for some figures, and using the same aids so they trust your communication, and not fight . If they toss their head and fight the rein, I just become a lump of clay and set my hands on the saddle so they can just fight themselves until they realize that you're not reacting to their temper tantrum.

I have many faults like any rider. But I've always prided myself in being able to get on any horse and let them decide not to fight or bolt because all I want is relaxation and trust. And I won't be dragged into a fight.

I think this instructor wants me to ***** foot around the horse so I don't set her off. That's not riding. "Don't put your legs on her or she'll bolt" is not riding. Horse should be comfortable feeling my legs right there.

I guess I'm running on here because I want to explain myself to people that can understand what I do, and see that the horse is improving and relaxing , and testing me less and less.
AnitaAnne likes this.
     
    02-12-2014, 04:23 PM
  #6
Weanling
I wouldn't doubt you are a good rider OP but unfortunately this is a two way street.

The horse's owner and trainer probably don't want to see or hear you say how much better you are for the horse, no more than you appreciate that trainer telling you that you need lessons.

Maybe you are the best rider that horseeever had but truth is it isn't your horse and its not really in your place to step in and offer advice where it clearly isn't wanted.
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    02-12-2014, 04:56 PM
  #7
Yearling
Sometimes a trainer's comments can be polluted by their own insecurities. I've certainly been at the tail end of that myself. It's not fun. Since it's not your horse, the simplest solution is to not ride it anymore.
     
    02-12-2014, 07:43 PM
  #8
Showing
Did I miss something? I didn't read that she offered anyone advice.
     
    02-12-2014, 08:42 PM
  #9
Yearling
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paradise    
I wouldn't doubt you are a good rider OP but unfortunately this is a two way street.

The horse's owner and trainer probably don't want to see or hear you say how much better you are for the horse, no more than you appreciate that trainer telling you that you need lessons.

Maybe you are the best rider that horseeever had but truth is it isn't your horse and its not really in your place to step in and offer advice where it clearly isn't wanted.
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Paradise, I don't say anything to anybody except thankyou. The girl/owner knew I just wanted to ride the horse for a few minutes. She's selling her because she doesn't ride her enough. I thanked her profusely for letting me, and it was never to show anyone how much better I am. I just wanted to see the horse's response to me- as a learning experience. For me privately.

I never gave any advice. The trainer/BO just came jumping into the ring and said the horse was getting ready to bolt away with me. I don't think that's true. The BO was the only one giving advice. I just did what she said. I'm not going to get into it over someone else's horse.

And being at someone's barn, I don't give advice, and the only feedback other riders get from me is complimenting something they did.

Frlsgirl, you bring up a very interesting point. If this trainer/BO has been working with this girl and this horse for 2 years and she still bolts away with this girl, but only when the trainer is not there. So this trainer may need to see everyone have a problem without her.

Maybe this woman needs students dependent on her.
     
    02-12-2014, 09:03 PM
  #10
Trained
Sounds like the trainer was ticked because you are not under her tutelage but you had the horse going fine. Sour grapes, just squish 'em in her face and find a different coach when you decide to get one.
     

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