I remember when I first started riding properly around 5 years ago... I couldn't canter, I mean seriously, I had to grab a handful of mane and hold on like hell, while standing up in my stirrups, and hauling back on my poor mares mouth just to stay on there. If I didn't canter that way, I would literally just fall out of the saddle if we so much as went around a left hand bend.. what the heck.
Then when I finally mastered that (took some time as I had no trainer, still don't) my confidence sky rocketed and my head got big.. I was 14 ok
I decided it was a great idea to get on my horse with just a leadrope around her neck and jump her, where that idea come from I have no idea, I winded myself twice, and bailed 3 times because I couldn't stop or turn her.
Not long after that we were galloping around the paddock with another horse in there following us, with just her cover on, I didn't even have the neck rope. Not even a helmet(why, oh why?) I didn't even have proper boots on, but we did it, I didn't bail, I didn't get winded, then after that we did it a lot.
Then I got a new horse, he was newly 7 at the time, and fresh off the track, and HUGE. Well, he's 16.1hh, but when I walked into that stable and saw that big behind swinging sideways in front of me I went oh hell no am I getting on that thing.... I bought him home 8 days later.
I wanted to sell him not even a month later because I found out he bucks. When he bucks, he absolutely goes for gold, he could put some of those saddle broncs to shame. He threw me the first time, and I got a brilliantly coloured bruise on the inside of my knee. Ever since then, he hasn't managed to buck me off. The only other time I've fallen off him was when I decided it was a great idea to jump a pile of branches that had been sawed off the trees... It was the biggest thing both of us had ever jumped, I think we both looked at it like a possum in the headlights and I went oh, well this is going to hurt. I lost my seat and stirrups and slowly slid to the left, then he bucked. I was literally inches from the ground still holding on before I went oh, well this isn't worth it anymore, and just let go.
Now, I've show jumped him, I've jumped him over a 1m upright, i've ridden him bareback(very slowly at walk and trot mind you)
When I first got Mitch, I was scared of him, extremely scared of him... Now when he's naughty it just gets on my nerves and I get pissy at him.
I also now have a project horse that has a lot of issues, I've had her a year now and she's made a whole lot of progress.
Don't tell yourself you can't do it, because one day you'll do it and go, well why did I think I wasn't ever going to do that?
There was a whoooooole lot of things I thought I would never do, and so far, I've done most of the things I swore I would never do, ever. Like the "I can't ever jump a meter, that's huge, it's way to scary!!" -Yeah it was scary the first time, but I've done it.(Still think it's huge though!!)
And I still envy the "you people" who make things look so easy