I am not looking for discussing her one ended, I'd like that to stop, I am looking for ways that we could teach her better at my barn. I, her, and our workers are at a loss but we all are looking for options, I want suggestions having to do with BETTERING riding. Not shooting my best friend down about lack of talent or not wanting to win.
We can't help you. If she can't grasp the concepts after 5 years of showing, there isnt anything we can say or do to help. She's working under a trainer and supposedly has a great horse, what else is there? Maybe she needs to find another trainer that can better understand her and get her to where she wants to be.
Personally, I feel if she has the desire to win, she'd win. But you can't help someone that doesnt want to be helped. And your friend doesn't or she would be winning by now.
It shouldnt be put on you to figure out the answers to her problems. She should be the one figureing it out, not you. Id suggest you focus on you and she can get the help she wants through another trainer.
If not she'll continue to lose with a black horse and waste money. But that's her business, not yours.
Based on what you've posted your friend doesn't appear to want to improve her riding, she just wants to win.
If she's been riding for 20 years, she should have the basics down even if she doesn't have any natural talent. I've been riding for 34 years and although I sometimes resemble a drunken howler monkey on top of a horse, I'm quite capable of remembering where my hands and legs go, as well as proper posture.
Unless she's willing to accept that she's the one at fault and take the time to work on improving herself, she'll stay at the bottom of her class regardless of what color horse she's riding.
Pissing and moaning about it does exactly nothing, and if she's 'too busy' to ask for help then she really has no desire to improve.