Frustrated after today's show :-( - Page 3
 
 

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Frustrated after today's show :-(

This is a discussion on Frustrated after today's show :-( within the Horse Shows forums, part of the Showing Horses category

     
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        08-05-2009, 01:05 PM
      #21
    Green Broke
    Kathryn has it exactly right eventerdrew, and no I did not take offense, you bring up a VERY good point! It's not that I'm focused on the ribbon 100% and nothing else (although c'mon it's our first season and we've never shown before in our lives so of COURSE we want some!! Haha) ...with every show, Sandie and I both gain experience that is wonderful for us!! And from this show, I took away that we had a GREAT dressage test so we're obviously getting stronger and the hard work is paying off there.

    But just as kathryn said, it's SO very frustrating to be so close to first place (or placing at ALL for that matter!) and then getting knocked out of the competition altogether because of 1 little jump! I would have been happy with last place as long as we tried our best, but the big "E" is like saying "thanks for spending all day here, but now it's like you never even came, you don't get to place at ALL" which is extra frustrating when you're 1st place until that point! Lol

    Also this course was a sore spot for us anyway because as you know, our first show was at this place and the SAME thing happened with the rock jump...so we went home, built one, got over it, came back to conquer things and then it happens with a TIRE jump that they threw in! So the whole situation was just frustrating, I'm sure most people would have felt the same.

    But to your point, eventerdrew, you are 100% spot on that it isn't all about winning, esp at these schooling shows. The point is to gain experience at these, and it's great that we're doing that. BUUUUT I'm naturally competitive so of COURSE I'm going to want a ribbon every time, why else would I compete?! But I'm CERTAINLY not the type of person to go bad mouthing or putting down others, or discouraging them. I'm the first person at these events to complement others' horses, tell them Good Luck, tell them WOW great test, etc etc. So no worries, I'm not one of "those horsepeople" who will run over everyone in their path to get a ribbon!!
         
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        08-05-2009, 01:38 PM
      #22
    Green Broke
    ^I totally know how you feel about the fact of them changing jumps! At the fall horse trails last year, they had the wine barrel jump, which was just 3 half barrels put side to side. This year they put them up on a pedistal type thing which raised the jump a good 4"! AND widened the spread! I was so ticked!
         
        08-05-2009, 08:35 PM
      #23
    Started
    Haha, I know that feeling HITS. My least favorite ribbon is 2nd. I'm fine with 1st, 3rd, 7th, nothing, whatever as long as I felt I did well, but I HATE seconds. In hunter shows, you get a small prize (brush, bucket, glass, bag, etc.) for first. It seems so annoying to be sooooooo close to getting something and missing out! Last show, Ben got EIGHT seconds! I mean 8, really? What are the chances of 8 seconds and only one first? In different classes and different days too, humphh
         
        08-05-2009, 08:42 PM
      #24
    Trained
    Quote:
    alright I don't know how to put this so I am just going to say it... please don't take offense. I am really worried that you are focusing too much on your placing. When you get into USEA competitions you can't expect to place high because competition is fierce. I am only saying this because in my experience, horse people start to resent those who are focused on winning. And I sure don't want people to think that way about you! Again please don't take offense. Its just how I feel
    I agree, I even said that in my last post.
    Quote:

    But to your point, eventerdrew, you are 100% spot on that it isn't all about winning, esp at these schooling shows. The point is to gain experience at these, and it's great that we're doing that. BUUUUT I'm naturally competitive so of COURSE I'm going to want a ribbon every time, why else would I compete?! But I'm CERTAINLY not the type of person to go bad mouthing or putting down others, or discouraging them. I'm the first person at these events to complement others' horses, tell them Good Luck, tell them WOW great test, etc etc. So no worries, I'm not one of "those horsepeople" who will run over everyone in their path to get a ribbon!!
    See, when you say the word "but" you've wiped out everything of importance that you said prior to it. "But" this is my excuse to why I think the way I think. Get what I mean?

    This has nothing to do with you bashing others who place ahead of you - you are totally not that type of perosn. What Eventerdrew and I are trying to say is that you have to stop making the ribbon and placings your focus. It isn't about that at all. It isn't about getting the blue ribbon or the red - not at all........what it is about, or what it should be about is the experience between your horse and you. Working together as a team and accomplishing tasks together.

    When you start climbing the ladder and getting to higher levels - and start branching into USEA Recognized Shows - you are going to be up against a bunch of really tough cookies, and I guarantee that you are going to have allot of dissapointments if you make placing a priority.

    I agree, placing top 5 in Eventing is a great feeling, heck even when I get 1st it feels fabulous - but you cannot make it your prime directive.

    The way you talk, it comes across as it being your prime directive.

    And we are both worried for you, because we care for you.
         
        08-05-2009, 09:22 PM
      #25
    Green Broke
    Wow, I must say I'm kinda shocked at this, I really am. You two are making it sound like all I care about is the blue ribbon and if I don't get it I'm going to throw in the towel or something lol!! Trust me, I KNOW getting a blue ribbon isn't everything you show for....BUT placing and winning ribbons is part of competition. I think kathryn, stormy, and 1dog3cats are right on with how I feel. (well, except I like 2nd place, that's fine with me, really ANY placement is!)

    Ok, I'll try to explain my frustration another way and perhaps everyone will understand...

    See, to me, as long as I get a score of something, ANYTHING, I'm cool. Whether that be 1st, 2nd, 7th, 9th, 13th, 100th, whatever, but getting ELIMINATED is what frustrates me. Not what color ribbon I get (or don't get!) With these mini trials, they changed the rules this year (because the World rules changed I guess). They used to penalize you 60 pts for falling, so you'd pretty much be in last place if you did (well, unless someone else fell too!) but at least you placed SOMEWHERE. But this year the rules changed to instant elimination.

    So it's not necessarily the placement I'm worried about, it's finishing! That's really all we're in it for...finishing safely! Now, I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't at least a little competitive and want to place 1st or top 3 or whatever, really who doesn't?! Why compete if you don't care at ALL about placing? But it's just frustrating to do so well in dressage, do great in staduim, then get through 10 jumps in x-c and throw it all out the window at the last one, you know?

    I don't know many people who wouldn't feel the same way in this situation. I'm really kind of amazed at the way this thread has turned out to be honest with you And disappointed that you two are taking it this way.
         
        08-05-2009, 10:13 PM
      #26
    Green Broke
    PS...there is one other reason why placing at this show was of significance for me. I didn't really want to bring it up at first, but changed my mind today, and you'll see why...

    My uncle, who is the world's kindest, sweetest man, has been battling cancer for about a year now. Several weeks ago, he was told he had a couple days left, and he was put into Hospice for his final days. One thing that really perked him up was looking through a scrapbook I have started of Sandie and I at our shows, at the barn, etc.

    Last time I went to see him, I was telling him about Grand River and how we fell off at our first show, but that we've been practicing and I've been learning how to stay back and stay on better, and we built a rock jump to practice on so we wouldn't repeat that at the next show! I told him I was going to go and try my best to get a blue ribbon in his honor, which he was very excited about. With the dressage training and jumping we've been doing, I thought I had a pretty good shot at it too.

    We were all told by the doctors that he'd be gone before my show though, but I knew he'd have a front row seat there if that was the case. Well, he hung on...he hung on and although he couldn't be at my show because he was so sick, I was SO charged up and determined to bring home that ribbon and show him before he passed. So when I was first after dressage I was so excited...and when I fell I felt like I let him down.

    I know he would never have seen it that way, he wasn't that type of person, he would have been proud of us no matter what, but I'm just explaining how I FELT about it.

    Today he lost his battle with cancer. I know he's in a better place now, and I'm happy he isn't suffering anymore. So please, all I'm asking is for those of you who have been jumping to some conclusions about my motives and feelings to consider this. Sometimes you don't know the entire situation, and it really hurts to be made to feel like all you care about is a stupid ribbon, when what you really feel has so much more meaning behind it.

    I know you guys didn't know that, so I'm not angry with you...I just wanted to share so that hopefully you can understand. Sorry if I've upset anyone
         
        08-06-2009, 12:26 AM
      #27
    Green Broke
    I wasnt trying to say you were putting winning before everything else... I was just telling you how it sounded. I really didnt want you to get frusterated by my comment but I knew it might. Trust me, I know how it feels to be frustrated about eventing. You know how many times I have gone into showjumping in first and come out in second? Five! Haha. It does suck knowing you were so close but I just didnt want you to dwell on it too much. You guys are doing amazing together so I didnt want you to get down on yourself because of elimination. Again, sorry if it offended you. I didnt intend to make you upset =[
         
        08-06-2009, 12:31 AM
      #28
    Green Broke
    And I am so sorry to hear about your uncle. My grandfather lost his battle with Liver cancer three years ago. I'm with ya =[
         
        08-06-2009, 06:20 AM
      #29
    Green Broke
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by eventerdrew    
    and I am so sorry to hear about your uncle. My grandfather lost his battle with Liver cancer three years ago. I'm with ya =[
    Thanks drew, and so sorry to hear about your grandfather too It's so hard watching them battle it like that...
         
        08-06-2009, 06:30 AM
      #30
    Green Broke
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by eventerdrew    
    i wasnt trying to say you were putting winning before everything else... I was just telling you how it sounded. I really didnt want you to get frusterated by my comment but I knew it might. Trust me, I know how it feels to be frustrated about eventing. You know how many times I have gone into showjumping in first and come out in second? Five! Haha. It does suck knowing you were so close but I just didnt want you to dwell on it too much. You guys are doing amazing together so I didnt want you to get down on yourself because of elimination. Again, sorry if it offended you. I didnt intend to make you upset =[
    Your last comment "I didn't want you to get down on yourself because of elimination"...had you said that to me in the first place, I would have completely understood the point you were trying to make.

    The reason I got a little irritated is because of again the theme in the first part of this response...that you came in second when you were in first and were frustrated. While I can understand that frustration, I in that case would have been completely happy with second. (In fact, that's what happened to me at my third show and I was just excited to finish without getting eliminated or anything!!) My problem with this entire thread is that from what you and MIEventer have been saying to me, it was making it seem like I will get upset and down on myself unless I place in the ribbons.

    That is not the case at all. The only time I will get upset (and down on myself in this particular case just because of the specific circumstance mentioned above) is when I get ELIMINATED completely and don't finish at ALL with ANY place (ribbons or no ribbons, 1st or 13th place doesn't matter to me). See, I came from the Triathlon world...and in Tri, the only time you get "eliminated" is when you don't finish the race...it's called "DNF" (did not finish) in that world, but same feeling. So to me, getting eliminated feels like we didn't finish, we didn't even complete it. Do you understand what I mean about that?

    I get what you and MIEventer are saying about not doing it just for the ribbons. What it seems like no one is hearing though is that I'm not. I'm in it to complete it safely with Sandie, no matter where we place. But when we get eliminated completely, that's not what we're going for at all, and it gets extremely frustrating when you get first place in dressage so you know you're doing very well, and then end up with an elimination.

    Again, I'm not sure who wouldn't be even just a little bit disappointed about that.

    And again, I'll mention that I'm not angry with you. Maybe a little disappointed in the responses here from you and MIEventer, because it seems like my words have been getting twisted (esp MIEventer's comment "the way you talk, it comes across as your prime directive"). I don't agree with it at all, and I'm really just sorry that you two saw it that way. I guess it just goes to show that no matter how you think you know someone, you can't truly get to know them on a forum like this I guess, since your words can be taken the wrong way a lot
         

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