Parental pressure (kinda long) - Page 2
 
 

       The Horse Forum > Showing Horses > Horse Shows

Parental pressure (kinda long)

This is a discussion on Parental pressure (kinda long) within the Horse Shows forums, part of the Showing Horses category
  • 2 effective ways against parental pressure

Like Tree36Likes

 
LinkBack Thread Tools
    06-12-2012, 02:18 PM
  #11
Showing
All y'all slobbing sympathy over the OP are missing one thing; parents are not required to spend THEIR money on something a child wants.

I say if you want to do things your own way, then wait and pay for it when you can afford it on your own. I've never understood the entitlement I see from so many of the younger set. It's like their parents aren't people with hopes, dreams, and desires of their own. They're only there to make sure Precious gets what she wants, whenever she wants it.

Telling your parents to 'piss off' is NOT the actions of a respectful youngster who understands that she's been given a gift. It's the attitude of a child who thinks she deserves whatever she wants, just because she wants it. If the OP hadn't come on here with a massive 'tude and actually asked for real advice to help her parents understand, I wouldn't have taken the slant I did.

Being ungrateful is ugly, regardless of whatever 'reason' the OP has.

I'm also not naive or unaware that some parents push their children too hard. However, we're only getting the OP's side of the story, and who wants to bet it may not actually coincide with the whole truth?
     
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
    06-12-2012, 02:31 PM
  #12
Foal
Quote:
Originally Posted by Speed Racer    
All y'all slobbing sympathy over the OP are missing one thing; parents are not required to spend THEIR money on something a child wants.

I say if you want to do things your own way, then wait and pay for it when you can afford it on your own. I've never understood the entitlement I see from so many of the younger set. It's like their parents aren't people with hopes, dreams, and desires of their own. They're only there to make sure Precious gets what she wants, whenever she wants it.

Telling your parents to 'piss off' is NOT the actions of a respectful youngster who understands that she's been given a gift. It's the attitude of a child who thinks she deserves whatever she wants, just because she wants it. If the OP hadn't come on here with a massive 'tude and actually asked for real advice to help her parents understand, I wouldn't have taken the slant I did.

Being ungrateful is ugly, regardless of whatever 'reason' the OP has.

I'm also not naive or unaware that some parents push their children too hard. However, we're only getting the OP's side of the story, and who wants to bet it may not actually coincide with the whole truth?
     
    06-12-2012, 03:21 PM
  #13
Yearling
Quote:
Originally Posted by Speed Racer    
All y'all slobbing sympathy over the OP are missing one thing; parents are not required to spend THEIR money on something a child wants.

I say if you want to do things your own way, then wait and pay for it when you can afford it on your own. I've never understood the entitlement I see from so many of the younger set. It's like their parents aren't people with hopes, dreams, and desires of their own. They're only there to make sure Precious gets what she wants, whenever she wants it.

Telling your parents to 'piss off' is NOT the actions of a respectful youngster who understands that she's been given a gift. It's the attitude of a child who thinks she deserves whatever she wants, just because she wants it. If the OP hadn't come on here with a massive 'tude and actually asked for real advice to help her parents understand, I wouldn't have taken the slant I did.

Being ungrateful is ugly, regardless of whatever 'reason' the OP has.

I'm also not naive or unaware that some parents push their children too hard. However, we're only getting the OP's side of the story, and who wants to bet it may not actually coincide with the whole truth?

I think you need to reread the original post. You are obviously feeling slighted about something and taking it out on the OP. Not once did she say her parents were not giving her enough or doing enough for her. The only thing she is saying is they don't understand me.


Your comments in both posts are harsh and rude. If you don't like her predictament, be glad she is not your kid and back off. Show me where in her original posts she acts spoiled or entitled. Because she shared her feelings about what she wants? Half the people on this forum are entitled and selfish if that is the basis of your definition.

We have threads after threads about people discussing conflict with other people. Country woman recently posted about how mistreated she by a lease owner. Did you tell HER that she was ungrateful? Spoiled? Entitled? Did you ask to hear the OTHER side of the story? Did you question whether or not she was meeting the full agreement of the lease and therefore not in fault

And if all you can do is pick on the one-sideness of this post, then you should carefully make sure that every post you make in the future includes verifiable proof of the other person's side to the matter. Otherwise you are no better.

I rarely speak out like this, and I don't know if the OP has recently ranted and spewed selfishly in another thread. But, I struggle to find the level of anger you displayed to her in both posts based on her original posting to THIS thread.
     
    06-12-2012, 04:33 PM
  #14
Yearling
In my honest opinion, there is something wrong on a basic level about the way these parents are acting.

Their "you must win" obsession smells of trouble and perhaps a history of unluckiness with sports of their own, or parents with the same mentality, etc.

Now, I don't necessarily think that you should move up, OP, I haven't seen you ride and therefore can't give an accurate opinion on whether or not you would be okay to move up.

Now, my father pays for the majority of my riding expenses as I have no job and no car (too young for both) and he frequently tells me not to rush things, etc. He gives me opinions on my ride, my horse, etc, but they are nearly always respectful and understanding.

I am forever grateful that he pays for me to be able to participate in this sport. I understand that without his money, I wouldn't be on a horse at all.

However, I take his opinions with a grain of salt, simply because he doesn't have experience with horses like myself or my instructor, or even my friends who ride. He doesn't understand how challenging and complicated riding is, just like most people.

Whenever I show or plan to, he always says, "It's a lot of money. I want you to have fun. Don't worry about winning, that's not important."

If I do win, he (and the rest of my family, who also support my riding in different ways) is proud and glad for me. If I don't, well, no big deal, at least I had fun.

Parents so concerned about winning are not in the right frame of mind, and in my opinion it is bad parenting and teaching bad lessons, that it's all about the ribbons, etc.

So, although I respect the sacrifices made for my riding, if my father told me I had to win/be the best, I would ask him if he would like to get on the horse and see how he does in the class/ride/etc.
horsecrazygirl likes this.
     
    06-12-2012, 04:46 PM
  #15
Foal
Not that I am defending anyone here but from personal experience with my own teenage daughter. No matter what I say or how I say it I am 100% against her... she tells me that all time. So do we really know how the parents are acting in this ... or is it just the way that the child is seeing it ????

I will not allow my daughter to disrespect me in any way shape or form, I have given up a lot so that she could show and have her horses and it is not a right it is a privilege that I can take away at any time. If I want to critique a video of her riding she can sit and listen to what I have to say...she can take the advise or she can leave it (i have shown for years but I do the same thing with my sons hockey videos so he listens to what I have to say and 90% of the time he leaves it at that and does not think anything of it)

So don't go off saying that the parents are these horrible people cause I am willing to bet anything if my daughter came on here and posted when she was in a foul mood about the way that she sees things you guys would think that I was in the running for the evil parent of the year award.
equiniphile likes this.
     
    06-12-2012, 05:04 PM
  #16
Green Broke
Your trainer should set where you show in my opinion. As such, I expect my daughters trainer to come to me and say, "we need to put Sarah here...and show us which class to put her in. " show entries should be discussed as a team, consisting of parents rider and trainer.
I see riders everyday that want to move up and are allowed bc of want, they are not rock solid riders.
I'd set up a meeting between trainers you and parents and everyone get on the same page about your goals for you and their goals for you.
I can tell you that no matter how much Sarah loved to ride, if she did not attempt to ride to the best of her ability in a show I would stop paying for shows, winning ribbons doesn't matter to me, riding your best does. And that is from the mother of a 13 year old girl showing 2ft on a retraining gelding and a freebie mare. Jumps bigger at home and shows where she's truly solid.
Posted via Mobile Device
     
    06-12-2012, 09:47 PM
  #17
Weanling
I would say talk to your coach about moving up. That you are ready for a challenge and since you are schooling it at home you feel that you are ready to show at the more challenging level. Find a schooling show that isn't going to affect anything if you bomb it.

Then, with your coach talk to your parents. Let them know that your coach is the professional and its her coaching that they (or you) are paying for. Let them know (in a mature way) that it frustrates you to be told that you did a good job at a show and then find out how awful they feel you are doing later.

Let them know that you are riding and competing because you enjoy it, and you appreciate all that your parents have done to give you that opportunity, but you are ready to challenge yourself and grow. Tell them that setting goals and achieving them is more important to you at this stage then winning every class.

I don't think you sound entitled or spoiled at all. You sound like a lot of other youth riders -- burned out by parents who don't back off. A lot of parents don't seem to realize that they are driving their kids away by putting so much pressure on their kids.
oh vair oh likes this.
     
    06-12-2012, 10:00 PM
  #18
Trained
Thank you AQHSam. That was everything I was thinking.

OP, I don't think you are acting spoiled or wrongfully. Sometimes, non-horsey parents just don't understand.

I do think you should talk with your coach. Tell her that you want to move up. That you feel your ready. And tell her that if she doesn't think that you are ready, ask what you need to focus on to make you ready because that is where you want to be. The next class up.
Posted via Mobile Device
     
    06-12-2012, 10:35 PM
  #19
Weanling
Oh my.... I should have left my thoughts to myself . I'm on my cell so tomorrow when I have more time I will answer more questions but to help out. I PAID for my horse, I PAY for showing I bought my Antares saddle and all my tack show clothes lessons board vet bills farrier I PAY every cent from every job to show. After thinking about the post before I read the comment I thought, someone would die just to take a lesson once a week. I need to suck it up. My biggest issue I my parents telling me what to do and how to do it when they know squat about the sport. Also I am 22.

This is going to take awhile to read all of these.... I shouldnt have posted anything.... Things are being taken way out of context
     
    06-12-2012, 11:07 PM
  #20
Showing
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mckellar    
Oh my.... I should have left my thoughts to myself . I'm on my cell so tomorrow when I have more time I will answer more questions but to help out. I PAID for my horse, I PAY for showing I bought my Antares saddle and all my tack show clothes lessons board vet bills farrier I PAY every cent from every job to show. After thinking about the post before I read the comment I thought, someone would die just to take a lesson once a week. I need to suck it up. My biggest issue I my parents telling me what to do and how to do it when they know squat about the sport. Also I am 22
I know how you feel OP. I'm 19 going on 20. My parents don't know a thing about horses and they try and dictate what and what not to do with my horse, buy for my horse, etc.

It can be frustrating, and no you did need to post because you needed to vent and some of us here understand exactly how you are feeling right now.

Feel free to PM me, anytime.
     

Thread Tools

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
School, kinda long but need, HELP! HopalongCassidy General Off Topic Discussion 13 01-29-2011 11:21 AM
Am I overreacting? (kinda long) Puddintat Horse Boarding 28 12-21-2010 01:31 PM
Just a Bit of Excitement (kinda long) rocky pony Horse Talk 5 04-21-2010 03:45 PM
Dilema of my life...Kinda long please help lovehorses007 Horse Training 22 09-16-2009 08:26 PM
Oh boy...did I screw up??[kinda long] draftlover215 Horse Riding 12 05-08-2009 11:33 AM



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 04:48 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0