Collaborative story. - Page 7 - The Horse Forum
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post #61 of 82 Old 02-05-2014, 12:43 PM
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Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes!!!!! There is all five..

I was so disappointed to see an ending like that. I am sure it is very possible in real life, but this isn't real life. This is suppose to be entertainment that feeds all of the senses slowly building up to a climax. Well, with that said I guess the ending did feed a sense. lol

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post #62 of 82 Old 02-05-2014, 01:31 PM
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Yes. Too cliche of an ending. It would be like ending a story with "...and it was all a dream." xD

The sensitivity of the internet baffles me.
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post #63 of 82 Old 02-05-2014, 02:18 PM
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I wasn't exactly pleased with how Jumper ended her story as I thought it was also the easy way out of writing more. She has a great talent for writing and ended the story so quickly after she spent some time away from it. There was so much left to be told in her's and this one.

If you choose to do an epilogue then it has to be better than that which was started a few posts ago. You went from spoiled teen to divorced parents back together opening a business together they have no idea about.

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post #64 of 82 Old 02-05-2014, 04:09 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WaveHorse View Post
"I'm Mellisa Stevens reporting live from a crash site on the freeway. A hot pink vechile was wrapped around a tree. The driver has been identified as Megan Smith."

Posted via Mobile Device
Before the car had even stopped moving, Ms. Elton was out and running toward the scene. Grabbing an EMT and in a crazed voice, she shouted, "Is she gone?"

He looked at her grimly. "She's alive. However, she's in very critical condition, and extremely unstable."

"Megan!" She screamed, catching a glimpse of her as she was lifted into the ambulance. Her daughter lay motionless and broken. Her beautiful blonde hair was strewn around her face in a bloody mess. The face it covered was ghastly pale.

"Melanie, come get in the car." Mr. Smith said softly. "We'll follow them to the hospital."

Numbly, she obeyed.
__________________________________________________ ____________

Two months later, Meg's parents were by her bedside, as they were every day since the accident. She was in a coma, and the doctor had told them frankly that he was unsure if she would come out of it, and if she did, how bad the brain damage might be.

On the positive, her broken bones, including her right arm and leg, ribs, and her dislocated hip, were healing nicely. They tried to remember that.

Her eyes fluttered, and both tried not to get excited. Several times before they had thought she was waking, but each time disappointed.

Silently, they watched. Her eyelids continued to open and close, like slow blinking. Finally, she held them open, and her beautiful forget-me-not eyes turned toward her parents.

Mr. Smith jumped up, rapidly pressing the button for the nurse and shouting, "I think she's really awake!"

__________________________________________________ _________

She was awake, but the brain damage was significant. Meg was mostly paralyzed, with little chance of ever walking or speaking again, much less making a full recovery. Although she appeared to recognize her parents, and the doctor said that the memory part of her brain had received the least damage, Meg was locked inside her body.

Almost a year later, there had been little change, even with daily therapy. She regained control of her right arm, which was more than the doctors had expected.

One day, Meg was in the middle of a therapy session, trying to grasp objects with her left hand. After dropping it for the hundredth time, Meg refused to try again.

"Please, Megan. You can do it." Ms. Elton implored.

A small tear rolled down Meg's face. Even with her limited facial expression, she could see from her daughter's lusterless eyes that she was tired of trying. She was tired of being stuck in a wheelchair, tired of everyone having to do everything for her, and tired of living. I wonder if she still wants to die. Ms. Elton thought.

Later that evening, as she watched her daughter sleep, she turned to her ex husband. "Daniel, she's giving up."

Quietly, he replied, "This is one thing I wouldn't blame her for wanting to give up on. I can't even imagine how hard..."

"How can we make someone want to live?"
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A horse is a mirror to your soul. And sometimes you may not like what you see. - Buck Brannaman
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post #65 of 82 Old 02-05-2014, 08:31 PM
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That night Delia came over. Out of all Megan's friends, Delia was the only one who bothered to visit. As soon as Delia walked in she could feel the tension and hopelessness in the room.
"Hey Megan." She said sitting next to her friend's wheelchair. Meg didn't even lift her head. Ms. Elton leaned in the doorway of the living room. It always shocked Delia how much older Meg's mother looked after this year of trial. "Do you wanna watch a movie?" Delia asked in hopes of lighting the stiff feelings. Meg gave no indication of a yes or no.
"Ms. Elton I wanted to talk to you." Delia finally said having towards the kitchen. "I have an idea on how to help Meg." Hope flashed through the eyes of the sad women.
"What might that be?"
"I talked to one of my friends who works at therapeutic riding stable." Meg stopped short when she saw Ms. Elton frown.
"Delia! Riding!? That's how this all started! Meg was perfectly fine before she got the dumb idea of owning a horse! There's absolutely no way I'll allow her to participate in that!!!"
Delia was shocked. She thought Megs mom would be all over it. "But, I think it might help! I mean she's obviously not happy. Maybe there's a way a horse could help."
"You know what!" Ms. Elton yelled slamming her fist on the counter. Causing Delia to jump. "I don't need this crap from you tonight! Just get out!"

FLYING WITHOUT WINGS IS POSSIBLE, IT'S CALLED RIDING A HORSE! <3
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post #66 of 82 Old 02-05-2014, 09:36 PM Thread Starter
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I have to admit I like the new ending better...

D
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post #67 of 82 Old 02-07-2014, 03:44 PM
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Delia's heart sank as Ms. Elton slammed the door behind her. She had expected her to immediately be on board with the idea. However, she was determined to be heard out, so she drove to Mr. Smith's. At least he'll be rational.

Of course, Mr. Smith was. He deliberated on her idea for a minute, taking a long sip of his coffee. "What do we have to lose at this point?" He said simply.

"Just one problem..." Delia explained how his ex wife had reacted to her suggestion.

He began to laugh, to Delia's surprise. "It's not up to her, is it? It's up to Meg. Tomorrow morning, I'll ask her."

A horse is a mirror to your soul. And sometimes you may not like what you see. - Buck Brannaman
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post #68 of 82 Old 02-07-2014, 10:31 PM Thread Starter
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Yes! finally got on the computer so i can type! (Phone has been messing around)

Mr. Smith sat in Ms. Elton's living room along with Meg and her mother. "Megan, i've got to ask you something. How would you like to do therapy riding?" he asked. Meg just kept staring at the floor. "Meg i need you to answer me," he said a bit impatiently. "She can't! She can't answer you!" miss elton said in a sad voice. "I'm taking her to the pet shop. That always seemed to cheer her up when she was young," Miss. Elton said. At the mention of the pet shop, Meg lifted her head and looked directly at her mother. "Is that what you want honey, do you want to go to the pet shop?" Miss. Elton asked. Meg gave a slight nod of her head. With that, they went to the pet shop.

Meg's mother pushed her wheelchair to the back of the pet shop, where the puppies were located. On the way she had an idea. What if Meg got a puppy. Surely she'd try to stroke and hold it? It would be a replacement for the therapy that Meg hated. "Do you want a puppy hun?" Miss. Elton asked, kneeling in front of Meg. Meg's eyes lighted up. She always wanted a puppy. Miss. Elton smiled. "Let's go take a look then," she said with a big smile on her face. They passed a pen with bulldogs, another one with white maltese pups, and then they reached a pen with 2 jack russel puppies. Meg turned to look at a little boy. He had a patch covering his one blue eye, and his other eye was an intense gold. He looked up at her as if to say "Hi, i like you". Meg's lips curled up into a smile, only slightly, but it was there. "You like that one?" Miss. Elton asked. Meg nodded a little. "Should we get him?" Miss. Elton encouraged. Meg's lips moved a little in an attempt to say yes. Miss. Elton was so happy. Her plan was definitly working. She called a salesman and asked if the puppy was still availible. "Yes, he is," the young man said. "We'll take him" Miss. Elton said with a wide smile. And for a moment she was her young, beautiful self again. At least, that's what Meg saw. While Meg was waiting at the door, her mother paying for the puppy, she looked at a rack of free magazines. Her eyes landed on a title: 'Therapy on horseback. Miracles do happen'. She looked at a picture of a young girl with clear brain damage. Smiling on a bay pony, people on either side keeping her in the saddle. 'She is the happiest girl in the world, yet, she can't even sit up ón her own' Meg thaught. With effort she took the magazine off the shelf, planning on showing it to her mother.
The new puppy was nammed Star after Meg wrote it several times before her mother managed to read it.
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post #69 of 82 Old 02-11-2014, 06:00 PM Thread Starter
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*bump*
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post #70 of 82 Old 02-18-2014, 03:08 PM Thread Starter
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See, that's why I ended the story! :(
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