Believe in the 11th Commandment: Inside leg to outside rein.
Know that all topical medications come in either indelible blue or
Think nothing of eating a sandwich after mucking out stables.
Know why a thermometer has a yard of yarn attached to one end of it.
Are banned from Laundromats.
Fail to associate whips, chains and leather with sexual deviancy.
Can magically lower their voices five octaves to bellow at a pawing
Have a language all their own ("If he pops his shoulder, I have to
Close that hand and keep pushing with my seat in case he sucks back".)
Will end relationships over their horses.
Cluck to their cars to help them up hills.
Insure their horses for more than their cars.
Will give you 20 names and reasons for that bump on your horse.
Know more about their horse's nutrition than their own.
Have neatsfoot oil stains on the carpet right next to the TV.
Have a vocabulary that can make a sailor blush.
Have less wardrobe than their horse.
Engage in a hobby that is more work than their day job.