05-06-2008, 11:56 AM
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Okay, I want to read the rest! I would try to get more adjectives in there - describe a bit more. But, If you get too crazy with describing things, it can get boring. I like the happy medium, so you can make your own idea of what things look like. I also like to write, and I think you are doing great.
If you think it's going along too fast, then that's your personal preference. I kinda need a bit more action - maybe a storm, a cop's visit to the barn, and narrow escapes. That's good, heart-pounding suspence!