just something I wrote - The Horse Forum

 
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post #1 of 4 Old 03-25-2009, 05:08 PM Thread Starter
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just something I wrote


I miss that eye with all its mystery
Full of fire and wonder
Like the untamed ocean
The colour washing through
Yet held so much honesty
Within that mystic blue

I can't believe your gone
Gone from this world into the next
Leaving me behind to fill a hole that you left
But now the night sky is your place to rest
Last night so brightly that you shone
Keeping watch over everyone

I miss your winny
I hear it in the wind
Like a motorbike trying to start
I hear your footsteps within my beating heart
For your spirit I could not tame
But I loved you all the same



xxemmabbzxx is offline  
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post #2 of 4 Old 03-27-2009, 09:30 PM
Green Broke
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Georgia
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Good wording; it paints a nice picture. The only thing that I would work on is the rhythm. It is off in some places and messes up the poetic flow.
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post #3 of 4 Old 05-27-2009, 08:47 PM
Foal
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: U.S.A
Posts: 59
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awesome! Wish I could write like that! =) It's so...... sad, in a way, yet happy too. Keep up the good work; you're a great writer.

"Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass, but about learning to dance in the rain"
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post #4 of 4 Old 10-07-2010, 08:41 PM
Foal
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: a little place called Maine
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aww, that's sad but well done

A horse can teach a girl courage, if she chooses to grab mane and hang on for dear life.
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