just something I wrote
 
 

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just something I wrote

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    03-25-2009, 05:08 PM
  #1
Foal
just something I wrote


I miss that eye with all its mystery
Full of fire and wonder
Like the untamed ocean
The colour washing through
Yet held so much honesty
Within that mystic blue

I can't believe your gone
Gone from this world into the next
Leaving me behind to fill a hole that you left
But now the night sky is your place to rest
Last night so brightly that you shone
Keeping watch over everyone

I miss your winny
I hear it in the wind
Like a motorbike trying to start
I hear your footsteps within my beating heart
For your spirit I could not tame
But I loved you all the same



     
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    03-27-2009, 09:30 PM
  #2
Green Broke
Good wording; it paints a nice picture. The only thing that I would work on is the rhythm. It is off in some places and messes up the poetic flow.
     
    05-27-2009, 08:47 PM
  #3
Foal
Awesome! Wish I could write like that! =) It's so...... sad, in a way, yet happy too. Keep up the good work; you're a great writer.
     
    10-07-2010, 08:41 PM
  #4
Foal
Aww, that's sad but well done
     

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