When I was ten I started lessons at a quaint horse barn. They had about forty horses. I wish I had started earlier, horses have always been my passion. I would pet any horse that was in sight, my mom was scared to death when I touched my first horse. That touch sealed the deal, I was in love. I never wanted to be a princess or play with barbies. I always wanted to be a cowgirl and play with my Bryer Horses. The first time I sat in saddle, I felt home. I felt like I was born to do this, and I was only ten. People don't know what goes on in a ten year old's mind. People say kids don't know what they want, I knew what I wanted from the very start. My first instructor, Jess, said I was a natrual. Since that day I have been through almost ten different trainers and I have ridden at least twenty different horses. Each horse has their own story, their own way to go. I sit on a horse and take three seconds and I can feel the horse's story. I know their weakneses and their srtong points, I know them. I fell in love many times. There was Chrissy and Rachel, Velvet and Michelle, however, none of them compare to Apachie. My darling boy. He saw me, I saw him and I knew I had to ride him. I knew I had to get on him and just ride. He taught me to be young. I was fourteen and he was five. I was fourteen and I needed to be told to stay young… by a horse. My trainer at the time told me to get on him. He was the sweetest thing in the world. Our hearts connected and we were off. He was given back to his owner a week later.
I was sad, I started riding any other horse that available, trying to forget my heart break. I walked on the farm and my trainer said, "Guess who's back?" I knew it was him, he was back, I was elated. Turned out he was sold to someone who had most liekly abused him, that's when I knew I wanted to resue horses from such cruelty. No one could get on him. We had to train him all over again. I fell in with the training process, it was gruling and hard, but I was patient and I put my all into it. I was fifteen and training a 5 ton animal. I loved the work, teaching him to pick of his legs so we could pick his hooves, training him so we could actually get on his back, teaching this boy to jump. I loved it, I realiezed I wanted to train horses AND rescue them. I was insane. I was in love with the horse world. I fell too many time to count, it hurt, I cried, I sucked it up and jumped back on. My body was sore and my head hurt, but my heart was soaring and I continued, I pushed myself to the limit.
My dad wanted me to show. I wasn't so sure. We talked to my trainer and the owner. They said I was absolutley ready to show. There was one thing, though, I couldn't ride Apachie. My heart fell and I almost cried. If you know me, I don't cry. I wanted to ride my baby, I needed him and he needed me. I had to stop my lease and I started on another horse, he is a great grand son of a very great horse. He was nice, but didn't connect like me and Apachie did. I pretended we did, I pretended I loved him, but I would never love him like Apachie. The show date came and I rode, I wasn't feeling it and I didn't want to be there. I have decided I don't want to show anymore. I can't tell my dad this because if I did, I would have to stop riding and I don't think I can handle that.
My favorite trainer left to move across the country. I lost my love and my trainer. I was torn apart and so I stopped going every weekend and ever week. I showed up once in a while, I didn't like the new lessons and I wanted to ridde my baby. I saw other girls riding him, they were never in sync with him like we were. Writing this makes me miss and him I wish I could drive out to see him and jump on him in the middle of the rain storm we are having at the moment.
I got back into the groove of things kind of, then a new, young trainer was hired. She didnn't get my name correct and she didn't treat me like I was a rider, she treated my like was a just a person on a horse. I wanted to be treated as a horse person riding a horse. At the point I had been riding for more than five and half years. I had been through good and bad times. I had received reserved champion at a barn show and second place in my first away show. I had an idea of what I was I doing, although I know I am not a perfect rider at all. There is ALWAYS room for improvement. I was told that the horses loved me, that the could sense I was on the property… they all wanted me to tride them. That broke my heart beacause I had decided to leave and join another barn where I would be respected as a horse person.
The trainer is young and she made me feel bad. I don't mind criticism at all… that's not what me cry. The fact no one told her how long I had been riding or what I was capable of. The trainer asked me if I had ever jumped before… I was astonished. I have been jumping since I was thirteen. I recent;y started jumping three feet. I take it easy, I want to accomplish one level at a time… eventually I would love to jump the heights they do in the Olympics. I had a gut feeling about this trainer and I did not like her. I had a gut feeling about another barn I visited and knew I belonged there.
My time is up at the barn and I am ready to move on and increase my ability to the fullest extent. I am going to miss my love, but I know if he was the horse for me… he would be mine not someone else's. He came into my life to show me what I was born to do and he taught me to be young, patient and calm. I know that there is or will be a horse out there that was made for me. I will know it when he or she picks me, not me picking him or her.