my story :)
 
 

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my story :)

This is a discussion on my story :) within the Horse Stories and Poems forums, part of the Horse Pictures, Videos, Artwork, and Contests category

     
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        06-10-2010, 04:43 AM
      #1
    Foal
    Smile my story :)

    The early morning mist constricted the air, forcing me to take longer breaths. The black gelding beneath me abruptly tensed as a twig snapped, breaking the almost impenetrable silence. I gathered my reins up, knowing that somewhere around me was the criminal. I remembered him courteously saying he wanted to try out Allora, our chestnut purebred Arabian mare, who had – until this morning – been up for sale. He had sat on the mare with a genuine rider’s seat, one that was only gained by long hours in the saddle. I recalled how my face had formed into a smile at the perfect form the two made as they lapped the paddock. It hadn’t lasted. The man had glanced at me, smiled, tipped his hat and then pointed Allora at the paddock fence. Our beautiful mare had shown no hesitation, leaping it with a flick of her ochre tail. For a moment, I had stood at the paddock rail, flabbergasted. Then, the realisation of what had occurred hit me like a dart hitting a target.

    Aladdin, my black Arab gelding seemed to know I was in extreme anxiety. He stood patiently at the fence while I threw on his bridle and climbed abroad his bareback. I gulped uncertainly as I pointed Aladdin at the fence. It wasn’t that I hadn’t jumped something so big, because I had in lessons, but it was the fact that there were no poles that would roll out of the cups if we did indeed come in contact with it. Aladdin snorted in excitement, throwing his head up in the air, his wide nostrils flaring. I almost pulled out of it at the last second, but the thought of the stolen Allora kept me going. Aladdin barely faltered on landing, he had known he could do it, and it had been me who had almost ruined our chances with doubt. Ignoring the guilt that threatened to consume me, I spurred Aladdin on, willing the big black horse to lengthen his stride.

    And now, Aladdin and I were poised for the retrieval of Allora, awaiting the sign of her chestnut hide shimmering through the bush. Suddenly, they were in front of us, Allora’s coal black hooves kicking back clumps of dirt. Aladdin bolted forward extending his neck in his haste to reach his paddock mate. I gripped my legs to his ebony hide and kneaded my hands forward into his mane. The man glanced back over his shoulder and smiled, turning onto a dense trail. The trail was so overgrown that he returned to a walk and so did I, knowing how dangerous it would be to push Aladdin any faster on the uneven ground.
         
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        06-11-2010, 06:06 PM
      #2
    Foal
    Thumbs up That's really good!

    Thats a really good start, I want more!!
         
        06-13-2010, 03:22 AM
      #3
    Foal
    Yay :) I'm glad you like it so far

    “Hey! That’s my horse! Give her back!” I yelled indignantly, clenching the reins in anger, wishing that I could pick up a faster pace.
    The man just turned around and smiled again. I had no idea where we were going; the trail was not a familiar one, but I was determined to get Allora back. All too suddenly we were in an opening. Pine trees that stretched up to the sky were spaced out in organized rows, and the underbrush became less impenetrable. And there in front of him appeared a bent over tree; almost like an arch. There was something about the tree that made my spine tingle. Once more, the man’s face smiled back at me, and then he was underneath it. I wouldn’t have believed it if it hadn’t occurred right in front of me, but my eyes did not deceive me. The man had walked Allora under the tree, and as soon as they were directly underneath it, they vanished.

    Something told me to turn around and go home, but there was no way I was leaving Allora! I rode Aladdin towards the tree, steadying my breathing and clinging to his sides with dear life. As we passed underneath it, I closed my eyes and clenched my teeth, ready for anything. When nothing happened and Aladdin’s steady walk continued I opened my eyes. The forest still surrounded me, but there was something different about it. The trees were…singing? I knew I was going mad, but I could definitely hear something. The man and Allora had disappeared, and I suddenly felt weak.


         
        06-13-2010, 03:58 AM
      #4
    Foal
    Talking More more more!

    It's really good!!i want more
         
        06-14-2010, 07:34 PM
      #5
    Foal
    As I closed my eyes and let the first teardrop melt down my face, I heard a sudden rustling. Aladdin shied slightly, but with a few reassuring words I had him under control. Quickly wiping my face with my sleeve, I looked up. The smallest woman I had ever seen stood directly in front of me. Her skin was as dark as a pond that never sees light, and it was gnarled all over her face, each etched line resembling the border of a state of skin. Abruptly she turned her gnarled face to mine and smiled up at me under thickset black eyebrows.
    “It is about time you came to us Moonstalker. Follow me,” she said, turning and walking forward.

    My heart began to beat a fast tattoo of nervousness. Aladdin moved forward without my command, following the woman as though he were haltered and she held the leadrope.
    “Um, excuse me? Where are you taking me?” I asked, trying to hide the stammer in my voice. The woman gave no reply, only continued on her way.
    I glanced away from her hunched form and looked at my passing surroundings. The trees were beginning to thin out, and the sun’s rays hit my skin through occasional gaps in the canopy.

         
        06-14-2010, 08:17 PM
      #6
    Super Moderator
    Very good so far. I'm intrigued.
         
        06-14-2010, 08:51 PM
      #7
    Weanling
    Very good I write stories too.
         
        06-14-2010, 09:13 PM
      #8
    Weanling
    This is soo good!!!
    Posted via Mobile Device
         
        06-15-2010, 01:44 AM
      #9
    Foal
    I'm glad you guys like it :) I want to get it published one day. Or one of my many other amounts of stories haha.

    Finally we reached the verge of the forest, and I had to gasp. It was like nothing that I’d ever seen! I had to double take the sight was so unfamiliar. In front of me was a tall castle, so large and impending that I felt like an ant standing beneath it. It was obvious that this was not the front, because no dominant entrance was visible. I wondered for a moment if the woman intended to lead me around to the front, but instead she paused at the border of the trees.
    “Wait here,” I heard her gravely voice proclaim.
    With one glance back at Aladdin and I, she ran across the stretch of open grass to the castle wall. Although from appearance the woman looked old and frail, she definitely could run. Looking swiftly to both sides, she touched an odd looking stone in the partition. To my utter disbelief, the ground dropped away leading down into the unknown. She turned and beckoned to me, summoning me forward in an urgent manner.

    Aladdin suddenly gathered his hindquarters beneath him and launched into a flat gallop. If my hands had not been securely wrapped around the reins and his coal black mane, I surely would have landed on the ground. Before I had a chance to straighten my seat, we were in the castle shadow; the old woman patted Aladdin and murmured something in a different language. On closer inspection, the path down into the ground was big enough for a horse, and I sighed in relief, knowing that I would never leave Aladdin, my only link to the world I had left behind. I followed her down into the ground, not pausing to wonder why we were almost sneaking around.


         
        06-19-2010, 07:00 PM
      #10
    Foal
    Talking More more more!

    It's so good I want more
         

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