Short Story. - The Horse Forum
 
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post #1 of 1 Old 06-22-2009, 03:57 PM Thread Starter
Green Broke
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
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Short Story.

Ok, this is just on the spot but im bored and want to hear yall's opinion on my writing ability.

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A gentle nicker and a soft nudge awakes me. A dark body looms over my small self, encouraging me to arise to my wobbly feet. I look up to the figure, she is my mother. Sweat beads run down her neck. She gingerly licks me, and whinnies again. My stomach growls, im so hungry. Throwing my front feet out from under me, I try to pull myself up. Unsuccessfully, I fall, but im so hungry, I try again. This time I succeed but only for a few steps. This turn, I get up, and abruptly wobble to mother, and suckle.

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What do yall think?

Last edited by ilovemyPhillip; 06-22-2009 at 04:00 PM.
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