Storm Born, tell me if it is ok and I will continue

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Storm Born, tell me if it is ok and I will continue

This is a discussion on Storm Born, tell me if it is ok and I will continue within the Horse Stories and Poems forums, part of the Horse Pictures, Videos, Artwork, and Contests category

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        12-10-2010, 10:12 PM
    Storm Born, tell me if it is ok and I will continue

    It happened on the most stormiest night of the year. A foal was born. A scrawny little black colt with a small white patches on his tiny body. The mare was an old friesian cross but in her prime, was a grand prix level dressage horse. This new foal was nothing special, just a leggy colt that would be broken into be a lesson pony. The mare nudged her new foal onto its trembling legs, the colt took his first steps. Whilst the foal was nursing, the mare cleaned him carefully, obviously proud of her new son.
    The next morning, the mare and foal were let out into the grassy paddock of Golden Valley riding school. At first, the littlc colt was very cautious, sticking to his mothers side at all times and only venturing away to look at another horse. The mare let out a high stepping trot and the colt, suprised at his mothers behaviour, tentively followed at a trot. This was the first time that the riding school owners saw this little colts expressive, beautiful and toe-flicking trot and thought: wow!
    They named him tempest.
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        12-12-2010, 01:12 AM
    No one likes it? Ok then I wont continue lol cos if no one like it, im not going to bother at all.
        12-12-2010, 02:34 AM
    It's really good pinto!! You should definitely continue it and I love the title Storm Born!!! Talented :)
        12-12-2010, 03:27 AM
    Continue.... great start!
        12-12-2010, 04:00 AM
    I agree... keep going :)
        12-12-2010, 05:35 AM
    Alright then
    <><><><>chapter 2....The offer<><><><><>

    Temepst had a very extended trot and was almost proud to be alive. His mother slowed to a walk and Tempest did the same and nursed. It was hard to believe that a day old foal had such big movement, a gracefulness that none of the other horses had. It was almost a shame that the owners were going to make him a slow and boring lesson pony.
    3 years later
    Tempest had bloomed into a fine young stallion, and if even possible, his movement got more gracefull. The owners had left him entire as if he showed promise in his temperament, they would breed from him. They thought that his outstanding movement would change as he got older, but it just seemed to get better and better.
    When Tempest was ready, they started to train him to be a lesson pony. During on of these training sessions, a young girl approached the owners of Tempest. The girls name was sam and she was enchanted by the stallion colouring, temperament and hi movement.
    "hi my name is Sam and I have been watching this young stallion working out. May I ask what he will be used for?" the young girl said.
    "his name is Tempest and he is going to be used as a lesson pony" a man called David said.
    Sam gasped in surprise.
    "surely you see he has talent to do dressage, look at his movement and trainability. I train show horses and dressage horses and I am interested in buying this stallion for, oh lets see, about $1000 and trianing him to Dressage".
    David thought about this for a minute. Money, but also a big loss to Golden valley Riding School. If they kept Tempest and made him a lesson horse and a breeding stallion, that would mean money. Alot of it. But if they sold Tempest now, they have money on the spot and a horse taken out of his hands.
    "alright, you can have the horse, but only on the condition that I can have his first foal"
    "it's a deal" Sam said, "i will be here tomorrow to pick up Tempest"
    They shook hands and Sam paid for her new horse. She had a dream to ride Grand prix level and Tempest will make her dream come true.

    Next Chapter....The start of somthing new
        12-12-2010, 06:50 AM
    Green Broke
    Very interesting! Anyone who can make a story has a lot going for them! Very imaginative!
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        12-12-2010, 03:20 PM
    Great! Keep it up!! :)
        12-12-2010, 03:31 PM
    Great story, love it, Don't leave us hanging too long.
        12-12-2010, 03:37 PM
    Green Broke
    Keep up the good work!

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