*this is a story I've been working on. I hope you all enjoy it. PLEASE critique me. If you see anything I should improve, or change let me know.*
PROLOGUE
The man smiled as he entered the arena, aware every camera would be trained on his face. He did his best to hide the shame and worry he felt. He silently hopped his wife would be ok... and the delivery would go ok. His horse tossed his beautiful black head. He too was anxious, and wanted this to be over. The crowd cheered as the man trotted to the starting line. He stopped just behide it. The crowd hushed one another. After just a moment, the rider and his horse took off.
They sprited to the first barrel and whipped around it with ease. The annoucer excitedly yelled it looked like a new record. The man smiled again. He forced his mind to concentrate. He couldn't worry about Maggie now. She would be fine. He urged his mount faster.
Then it happend. A young boy of ten, whom had idolized this man for years, was sitting just outside the railing fence which surrounded the arena. The young boy jumped to his feet and screamed along with the crowd. He flew to the railing and pushed against it. Much to his and his parents shock, the section of the railing tipped over. It fell to the ground with a loud, "CLANG!" As it hit against another section.
Maybe if the rider hadn't been so distracted. He would have had time to react. Maybe if the black stallion hadn't been so tense, it wouldn't have startled him. But it did.
The audience watched in horror as the horse reared. His eyes rolled. The rider grasped the saddle horn and tried to calm the frantic beast. It was no use. The horse came down hard and fast. Then once again he reared. This time he lost his balance and fell backwards onto the rider. The man had no time to react. The beast screamed as he fought to get up. He finally managed to stumble to his feet. Only to then fall forward. Once again he let out a panicked noise and rose. Four hired helpers jumped the railing and ran to aid the fallen man. Along with two emergency workers and a vet.
The vet determined the horse's leg to be broken. The audience cried in horror. The news cameras turned to zoom in on the young boy who had caused this. But him and his family had disapperd from the scene.
10 minutes later, the rider the crowd had adored, was pronouced dead.
"Mother!" The young women called out. The older gray haired women entered the room with tears in her blue eyes.
"Maggie...."the older women began. Maggie looked up at her mother's pale face
"John is dead."
*that was just the prologue. What do you think? Please let me know *
PROLOGUE
The man smiled as he entered the arena, aware every camera would be trained on his face. He did his best to hide the shame and worry he felt. He silently hopped his wife would be ok... and the delivery would go ok. His horse tossed his beautiful black head. He too was anxious, and wanted this to be over. The crowd cheered as the man trotted to the starting line. He stopped just behide it. The crowd hushed one another. After just a moment, the rider and his horse took off.
They sprited to the first barrel and whipped around it with ease. The annoucer excitedly yelled it looked like a new record. The man smiled again. He forced his mind to concentrate. He couldn't worry about Maggie now. She would be fine. He urged his mount faster.
Then it happend. A young boy of ten, whom had idolized this man for years, was sitting just outside the railing fence which surrounded the arena. The young boy jumped to his feet and screamed along with the crowd. He flew to the railing and pushed against it. Much to his and his parents shock, the section of the railing tipped over. It fell to the ground with a loud, "CLANG!" As it hit against another section.
Maybe if the rider hadn't been so distracted. He would have had time to react. Maybe if the black stallion hadn't been so tense, it wouldn't have startled him. But it did.
The audience watched in horror as the horse reared. His eyes rolled. The rider grasped the saddle horn and tried to calm the frantic beast. It was no use. The horse came down hard and fast. Then once again he reared. This time he lost his balance and fell backwards onto the rider. The man had no time to react. The beast screamed as he fought to get up. He finally managed to stumble to his feet. Only to then fall forward. Once again he let out a panicked noise and rose. Four hired helpers jumped the railing and ran to aid the fallen man. Along with two emergency workers and a vet.
The vet determined the horse's leg to be broken. The audience cried in horror. The news cameras turned to zoom in on the young boy who had caused this. But him and his family had disapperd from the scene.
10 minutes later, the rider the crowd had adored, was pronouced dead.
***
"It's a girl!" The midwife announced as the new mother gave the final push. The midwife passed the screaming baby to her assistant who promtly wrapped the baby in a blanket. The mother cried as they handed her the newborn. Just wait until Her husband heard. For the millionth time she wished John hadn't gone to that stupid rodeo."Mother!" The young women called out. The older gray haired women entered the room with tears in her blue eyes.
"Maggie...."the older women began. Maggie looked up at her mother's pale face
"John is dead."
*that was just the prologue. What do you think? Please let me know *