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    08-21-2011, 10:52 PM
Green Broke

I stare out the window of the plane watching everything I ever knew disappear below me. There goes my life, I think as we lift upward, jetting toward the unknown. Two months ago my father had dropped the news on us. “I know you’re not going to like this, Alexa,” he said. “I’ve been promoted.” I scrunched my eyebrows, “Why would I not like that?” “Because,” he said “it means we are moving to headquarters in Texas.” Dad worked for some big oil company that was based almost midway between Dallas and Austin. I couldn’t remember much about the town, other than it had a population roughly the size of my last high school.

Luckily, or unluckily depending on how you looked at it, the move was set to take place at the beginning of summer break. My parents said it would give us time to get adjusted to the town and maybe make a few friends before school started. All I could think about was that I was supposed to be at the beach with Brittany and Leslie right now. Oh, I’m going to miss them. Now, I’m on my way to some town where I don’t have any friends. And worse, I’d had to leave my barn behind. I didn’t own a horse, but I loved my lesson horse as my own. Chet, you were always such a good boy. I wasn’t sure if this town had a lesson barn, or if I would continue to be able to keep taking lessons.

We had arrived in Dallas at the airport and piled ourselves into the taxi van, which smelled like stale bread and beer. I let out a sigh and leaned my head against the window. It was sweltering outside, and no much cooler in the van. My brother, Kase, elbowed me in the ribs gently and said “Cheer up sis. I’m sure you’ll like it here. The house is amazing, it may surprise you.” I just shrugged at him. Doubt it. This place is going to suck. Kase and I had a good relationship as far as siblings go, we rarely fought and actually had fun together. He was only a year older than me so we had a lot of the same friends back in California. I wonder if that will change here. We looked liked twins with our brown hair and green eyes. He was about 4 inches taller than me and had an athletic build like me. All of my friends back home thought he was cute.

Kase had come with Dad to make sure that everything at the house was working and set up and connected. I had yet to see the place and they didn’t share much info other than it was a blue two story house with a large back yard and porch that went all the way around the house. Apparently I would have my own room and bathroom and Kase had told me that there was a room that was painted in my favorite shade of purple, the shade of light purple that you sometimes see at sunset. We had little over an hour drive to the house so I leaned back to get some sleep and pass the time faster. The vibration and the gentle hum of the engine were like a lullaby that put me right to sleep.

I woke with a start to Kase yelling in my ear “Wake up!!” I rolled my eyes at him and got out of the van to survey my surroundings. The place was gorgeous. The house was like something out of a movie. The white railed front porch wrapped around the house. There was a big oak tree sitting to the left with a swing hanging from one of the branches. The house was surrounded by green fields and there was even a barn in the back. Maybe I can convince my parents to buy me a horse soon. “Alexa!” my mother called, “Come help get some stuff in the house.” Grabbing my bags I went up the steps into the house. Kase told me that my room was up the stairs and to the left as he went outside to retrieve more boxes.

The inside of the house was just as gorgeous as the outside. The dark wood floors looked worn, yet homey and the kitchen had a comfortable cottage feel to it. The living room was big with large windows that looked out into the back of the house. I could see that there were some woods in the back of the property and a fenced in turn out area connected to the barn. Maybe I’ll like this place after all. I went upstairs and to the left to find my room. I opened the door and gasped. It was the perfect shade of purple and to add to it there was a deck connect to my room. The glass French doors lead out onto a deck lined with the same white rails as the porch. It looked out towards the back of the property and over the turnout area. I could just imagine my future horse running around the fields. What breed would it be? Thoroughbred? Quarter Horse? Friesian? Haha, yeah right, we could never afford one of those. I started unpack putting up pictures of me and my old lesson horse Chet. It made my heart hurt, I was going to miss riding so much. I had to find a place to ride quick.
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    08-21-2011, 11:05 PM
Awww, sweet story. Well written.
    08-21-2011, 11:07 PM
Green Broke
Thank you, there is more to come.

Anything you think I could improve on?
    08-22-2011, 01:35 AM
It's alot better than anything I could ever write, so im not the best person to ask for critique since I think its well written. I liked the descriptive words. I guess maybe possibly the ending in a sence of wrapping things up, but again I thought it was really good. The opening line even grabbed my attention and made me want to read on.
Hope to read more of the story soon. It is a true story right? If not you did a great job making it sound realistic.

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