I totally feel your pain. I am new to the whole western riding thing, after being english my entire life. So, last spring, when I bought my new horse who I also hope to do some reining with, I had to start somewhere. I started with a Rocking R, which I was told was a reining saddle, turns out it was a training saddle. It was great, but too big for me, and, as has been said-size for both of you makes a HUGE difference. I finally went to a place near me that makes customs...Wengers-they are pretty well respected for customs. Anyway, they do not want to make me a custom until I have more knowledge. So, they sold me a Tex Tan Imperial Futurity Champion Western Reining Saddle - Horse.com
that I really love, except for the fact the stiirrups aren't turned. I will trade it in on a custom in 6 months or so. I also found a used Rocking R reiner, what I love. I found that at Shells saddle shack.
She has a few used saddles at a time. I peruse Ebay daily, since I am a tack ***** also......there are some good deals there, but you have to know the size you need.
I also have a friend who has bought the Stacy Westfall at Stagecoach West. They have some nice saddles, pretty reasonable. Their "Bar J" make is actually made for them custom by Rocking R. FYI-Rocking R has the same tree as the Crates, which are also a really nice saddle.
It is a bit overwhelming for sure...good luck and happy hunting!