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3 months before I can go...

2K views 21 replies 12 participants last post by  Celeste 
#1 ·
So Ive been at this stable for 5 months now, and overall, I love it! I loove the people, I love the facillity, and I really gotten used to the rutine. The only problem is the stableowner. Fisrt she was telling me I couldnt free lunge my horse as she would stop listening to her workers when they where leading her. I asked if there had been any problems that I could help with, but no, she was fine, okey, then whats the problem? well, even with that it WAS a problem for the stable owner and I had to get a line to lunge her in. (NOTE: I was not free lunging her when there where other people wanting to use the place, I came at times it would be empty and if somebody wanted to come in, I would quicklly snatch her up and leave them to their riding) Okey, fine, I could work with that, it wasnt a huge deal.

Then I was riding out with Hubble, and due to an unknown problem she had, that I did not know about, I fell off, and she ran back to the stable. I was riding bitless, something I pretty much always did, and from that moment on, I was only allowed to ride bitless when I was all alone in the arena. Fine, I was too tierd to argue, and got myself a bridle with a bit that I now use. I dont like it, Hubble sure as hell dont, although she accepts it.

Now then, this morning she called and told me I needed to cover my horse up as the wether was getting cold. Yes, it was cold, and my horse is pretty skinny as shes hard to gain weight on. But it wasnt so cold that Id need to cover her up, I wasnt even too cold in a jumper... but gave the stable owner premission to put her cover on if she wanted to. I got the responce that Id needed to keep one on her from now on and that she needs to have one by tommorow. I agreed to that,becuase there is no point in arguning when she has her decission made and decided to go out in the morning to put it on her, but nope, still not good enough, now at night she calls me telling me that if Im going to be staying there I need to listen to what she says and follow her rules. That my horse is not gaining weight (Although shes getting a hell of a lot better, and she knows it) and that Im overfeeding her, and that if animal controll comes out again, shes not gonig to "save my ***" (She was refering to when I had just gotten her and animal controll got a call on a skinny horse, they saw the horse, got the onfo she was new, and dropped the case).
That I was going to come put one on in the morning was not at all good enough, and it was literally a telling, that if you do not keep her coverd 24/7, your going.

I feel so lost in what to do. Ive started to look for another stable, because at this point, its just getting silly, but there are 3 months I need to stay before I offically can leave, and I cant pay for 2 stable rents at the time. She is driving me to the point where I dont want to go out there at all anymore, in fear of even meeting with her.
What would you do? I am aqcctually dreading going there, and will have my sister go out tommorow so I dont have to meet with her, but, I cant "hide" from her for 3 months and not see my horse... Nether can I avoid her as she lives ast the stable and comes and goes whenever.

Has anybody been in the same situation, and what did you do? I feel so stressed out by it all I just want to, well not go back there at all...
 
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#2 ·
It sounds from my perspective like your yard owner is just trying to do what's best..and it is 100% true that if a boarder does not follow the rules set by the stable owner or manager, that boarder can most definitely be kicked out. Barn owners run places how they want too, and if a rider is not taking proper care to ensure their horse's health and safety, or is just plainly not following rules, they reserve the right to kick that rider out. It can be harsh, but these people are running a business, and they want clients who will follow their terms.

The lunge line thing..some trainers just don't like free lunging, or "liberty", as it is called in my neck of the woods. They believe it will make the horse unruly. I myself don't believe this is true, but the barn owner makes the rules. A lunge line is something every rider should own anyways, just in case, so that's not a huge deal.

The bitless thing sounds to me 100% like she is trying to keep you and your horse safe. There is a girl at my barn who is not allowed to ride her horse in the field without a bit because he WILL dump her off without one when he is out in that big open field. She can only ride bitless or in a halter in the arenas. Simply because you have alot less control without a bit. Control is something you want, ESPECIALLY when not in an arena. If your horse were to take off and was galloping frantically towards a hole that he could twist his ankle in, you want to be able to turn and stop him in time so that he doesn't get his foot caught in it, right? Riding bitless makes that much harder.
You said your horse doesn't like the bit; what kind of bit are you using?? There are extremely mild, rubber-covered bits out there that your horse might like better. Don't buy just any bit so your trainer can see you have one in; if you're gonna ise a but, you may as well find one that is comfy and soft enough for your horse.

As for the blankets... the comment you made about "it not being THAT cold..yes maybe she's thin but i mean I wasn't cold!!.." sounds to me like a half-hearted, lame response. Thin horses get much colder much easier than horses with fat and hair. So yes, even though you say "it wasn't THAT cold", your thin horse is probably cold. That's just the truth.

If you are overfeeding your horse and she STILL isn't gaining weight, something needs to be done. Make sure she's been dewormed properly, as worms will suck all the nutrients right out of her body and make it hard for her to gain weight. Make sure she is getting good quality hay: good hay should be fairly soft and green, preferably with lots of leaves on it for nutrients. Stale, dusty, yellow hay will not cut it for a hard keeper such as yours. As for grain, you may need to buy her a different kind if what you have still isn't working. I love Purina Strategy and purina Ultium. Add a weight gain supplement if you can. You will have to invest in her diet. If she STILL doesnt gain, call the vet and have him or her check out the horse and give you dietary advice.

Your managaer just wants the best for your horse. By keeping her covered 24/7 during the winter, you are preventing her from becoming too cold, since she is thin. Why would that be a bad thing?

What you should do is continue to follow her rules. Do it with a smile. Show that you are willing to cooperate and be a good client. Don't be rude to her, ever. Even if she is "mean" to you, be nice to her. Listen to her when she tells you what's best for the horse; all the advice she's given you is good, solid advice from a professional. Maybe she doesn't say it in the nicest way, but some people are more blunt and no-nonsense than others. She sounds like she knows what shes doing, in my opinion. It also may be that she is just being hard on you cuz you're the "new kid"; my barn owner is the same. Don't take things personally, always do what's best for your horse, and do it with a smile.
 
#3 ·
I wouldn't let anyone tell me what I can and can't do with my horse. Especially that you're there to pay for a service. I don't know why some barn owners have the need to micromanage everything. Respecting rules is a must, but being constantly told what to do with your horse, is a hell no in my books.

Is Hubble having free choice of hay? What else is she eating?

Maybe the new stable could reserve you a place? Let them know about your three month notice period.
 
#4 ·
We have been free lunging our horses for my whole life, Nether I nor my horse had ever done it on line before, so suddenlly telling us us a no go without a proper reason is silly, (We has had another horse there for many years a few years ago) and as I am not bothering anybody else who use the arena, I cant really see the issue at hand. My mother on the other hand, is all fine if she wants too free lunge my horse, as she "knows whats shes doing" (I am an adult, but my mother comes to help with my horse at times, and I can free lunge a horse perfectlly fine, so its not that Im bad at it ether) and with the bit, she is well acsutomed to bitless, She was ridden in bitless, always been ridden like that, and I like it better as well But, she was leashed for a few years, and during that time got a pretty bad habbit. They didnt tell me of it, so I didnt know it, so I would have fallen of with or without a bit just like I told her. Now that I know of her habit, well, I havnt fallen off yet, because I can predict and stop it. The bitless had nothing to do with it, becuase it had nothing to do with her aids. Ive tried a few different bits, and she doesnt like any of them, a 3 pieced was the best for her, but she is still constantlly biting at it and verry sensitive to any aid. With the bit, she also started doing things she normally wouldnt, such as try to leave for the middle of the arena so you have to constantlly KEEP her on the track, something that was the oposite without the bit where she would almost get too close to the wall..

As for the cover, when I say it wasnt that cold, I meen, it really wasnt that cold! We have had some pretty sunny days for a while now, and just got a drop in temperature. I could still walk around in a jumper without a problem, so she really didnt need a blanket. I know when to blanket, and not to blanket my animals, and the wether weve been having, is not a "blanket zone". She is the type of owner that keeps her horses with 4 blankets on if its bellow 0 degreese, and hasnt seen one of her horses without a blanket this whole year... I on the other hand, dont like blankets that much, and only blanket her when she acctually needs it.

She is dewormed, good quality hay, she gets lucern and "old horse feed" with good quality. She IS gaining weight, and pretty much of it as well, still not at our goal, but pretty darn close, another 50kg and shell be great. That shes not gaining any weight was a poor exuse by the barn owner. Shes gaining it slowlly, but shes always been a hard keeper.

Not free choice, she did at her old facillity, but I think meals have been working better. She gets 3 melas a'day with about as much hay that will last her to her next feeding. So its "pretty much" free choice, but not quite. Ive been concidering adding a net for her overnight, but havnt gotten to that yet. She is also eating about 2L of Lucern everyday (Then 3l of whater mixed in) She gets about a liter of "old horse" feed from a reknown seller around the area and is supposed to be great Then about 4 dl of wheat and B-vitamin, joint suppliment, vitamin suppliment, and has just had a course of anti-inflamatory supplement that she will get another shot of in 2 months time.

She does loose weight as soon as shes pushed to more than 2 rides a week though, so Im concidering loosing the old feed and adding in another type of feed I was recommended to help, and then give more Lucern, but Ill let the feed I have left shrink a little before I make any chances, or Ill sit there with lots of feed I dont use, lol :)
 
#5 ·
All horses should be on grass/hay 24h. Leaving her without anything to eat for a whole night is really bad for the horse - that's why mostly stalled horses have colics. Or do you mean you are considering adding another hay net? Because that could make a big difference. Lucern is good. You could also add some oil, like sunflower oil, to the meal.
 
#7 ·
It's really hard to tell what is going on here, because we only have one side of the story. The barn owner sure does not seem to agree that there is no danger to you or your horse, or she wouldn't be insisting that you need to follow the rules. Then again, maybe she's being unreasonable, who knows.

Are you saying animal control was called because of your horse? You mention a skinny horse, and say yours is too thin, but it's not clear to me if they were called in because of your horse. If so, I can understand why the BO is getting upset. This reflects poorly on her. I'm not big on blanketing either, but on a thin horse, a blanket may prevent them from losing heat/calories unnecessarily. What do you mean by not THAT cold? 10C? 0C? -10C? Sorry, I don't know what a "jumper" is. Of course if the BO is more worried about herself than your horse, and if I'm being cynical here, she may also want your horse blanketed so people can't see how thin it is.

The bottom line is that you're boarding here, which means you have to go by the barn rules, whether you agree with them or not. This is why a lot of people dislike boarding. You do sound young. Being an "adult" just tells me you're 18 or older. I'm guessing the BO is quite a bit older so perhaps she knows a thing or two. She may have been a little rude to you, but it's possible she is just genuinely worried about the horse too. I understand it makes you feel resentful, but she may just be looking out for you and your horse, and isn't all that concerned about your feelings at this point.
 
#8 ·
Bottom line, barn owner's barn, her rules. PERIOD. It doesn't matter if you don't agree, it's her place and her rules apply. Or you can choose to not abide by them and let her evict you. Doesn't want you to free lunge, then use the line. I personally don't have heartburn with free lunging but I know many do. If you're riding on her property and she says you need a bit, then you need a bit. If I had had as many problems with a boarder as you're describing you've had, you would already be gone.

As for the thin horse not being cold. I had an older mare who would not gain weight, no matter what I fed her. I put a windproof sheet on her at 60 F (about 16 C) and kept her covered in the sheet as it got colder and then switched to heavier blankets during winter. Guess what? She GAINED weight during the winter. She was cold. Once they get to a certain point they can no longer thermoregulate for themselves and need help. If she is not gaining and you're feeding her tons of feed, then try a good windproof sheet and see what happens. She may surprise you. I've found that most people from EU like their horses thinner than folks here in the US, so if she's saying the horse is so thin she needs to be covered 24/7, I tend to go with the BO on that one. If the horse is so thin, and still so thin, that animal control could be called out on her then she needs covering until she has time to gain some weight. Whether you are cold or not doesn't matter, the HORSE is what matters.
 
#9 ·
I have to go against the group here; personally I don't understand why the BO is making all these rules seemingly just for you.

Examples of Barn Rules are: Keep gates closed even if no horses in the arena/paddock/pasture. Do not feed horses treats unless you own the horse. Turn off all lights if you are the last to leave the barn.

Are there posted rules stating everyone must blanket their horse? Or posted rule stating no free lunging or no riding bitless? I would be surprised to go anywhere and see rules like that posted. Have see riders in numerous places ride their horse with only a halter. Endurance horses commonly are ridden bitless.

IMO the owner of the horse gets to decide how they train their horse, not the BO or anyone else there. If you want to ride bitless, than that should be your choice. Why does that concern her?

If your mother is allowed to free lunge (or other people) then no reason you should not be allowed to also free lunge!

You are being micromanaged, and much as you love thee place, you may need to leave. A discussion with the BO (and maybe good to include your mother) may be helpful. If you leave sooner than the three months, the BO should not charge you for board.

I think some people just enjoy making other people miserable.

Do not allow the BO to ruin your enjoyment of your horse. Continue to go see and ride your horse and plaster a HUGE smile on your face the entire time you are there. Remember why you have a horse first!
 
#10 ·
I'm guessing you don't board. The problem with what you're saying is, it's a guaranteed way to get told she needs to be gone from that barn by this weekend, don't let the gate hit you in the backside. I don't know how available good boarding barns are where she is, in some areas they're are very expensive and/or pretty scarce.

#1. "Are there posted rules stating everyone must blanket their horse? Or posted rule stating no free lunging or no riding bitless? I would be surprised to go anywhere and see rules like that posted. Have see riders in numerous places ride their horse with only a halter. Endurance horses commonly are ridden bitless.........IMO the owner of the horse gets to decide how they train their horse, not the BO or anyone else there. If you want to ride bitless, than that should be your choice. Why does that concern her?"

They don't have to be posted and they don't have to apply to every boarder. If the barn owner feels what she is doing is dangerous, she has the right to put a stop to it ON HER PROPERTY. Once she rides off the property in a bit, she can take it out. My insurance runs close to $7K a year for all the various Care, Custody & Control, Liability policies. And I've NEVER had a claim. One claim and the BO can be cancelled or have rates raised. Guess what that will do to board rates?

#2. "If your mother is allowed to free lunge (or other people) then no reason you should not be allowed to also free lunge!"

I don't see where the OP is saying anyone else free lunges. But again, see the response to #1, the BO makes the rules and decides who they apply to. It's her property and her liability.

#3. She has only 3 options. She can follow the rules to the letter and stay. She can follow the rules to the letter but find another place to go at the end of her contract (3 months). She can leave now and pay the contract and the new place (which she has already stated she can't afford).

THIS is great advice, "Do not allow the BO to ruin your enjoyment of your horse. Continue to go see and ride your horse and plaster a HUGE smile on your face the entire time you are there. Remember why you have a horse first![/QUOTE]". It IS all about the horse. When she's bought her own place and is responsible for everything, then she can set her own rules.
 
#11 ·
@Dreamcatcher Arabians If I understand you correctly, you are stating that you are responsible for all the riders safety on your property? That doesn't make a lot of sense to me, and would appear to increase your risk of lawsuits.

Ride at your own risk has always been the norm, and most states have laws to back it up.

This is a state law here, and all one has to do is post the sign stating this:

WARNING
Under Alabama law, an equine activity sponsor or equine professional is not responsible for an injury or death of a participant in equine activities resulting from inherent risks of equine activities, pursuant to Equine Activities Liability Protection Act.
 
#14 ·
OK also has those "equine sports are hazardous" laws and I have my place posted. HOWEVER, those don't protect you in cases of neglect or negligent practices. If I see a rider in my arena (only on my property of course) and I see the horse is not responding to her because she has no control, and feel it would be safer if she would ride with a bit, and I say nothing and she is injured and sues me, I could be found negligent. She goes into court and says, "I was riding without a bit and my horse was throwing her head and running through my hands. The BO stood at the side of the arena shaking her head and said nothing until after I was thrown and injured.". There's a thing called Reasonable Man Theory whereby they say, "If a reasonable man would have spoken up....." then I could be found liable for her injuries. Not saying I WOULD be, but saying I COULD be. Same reason I require helmets. Since I already pay over $7K/year, and have had no claims, can you imagine how much my liability insurance would go up if I got sued and lost? Yeah, no, not on my watch.

As a BO there are a LOT of things we're responsible for that never occur to boarders. There are a lot of behind the scenes costs that we don't tell boarders about, but you can bet when we tell someone to do or stop doing something, there's a reason. And at my barn? On my property? It's my way or the highway, and since I always have a waiting list, it's totally up to the boarder.
 
#12 ·
Florida:

WARNING
Under Florida law, an equine activity sponsor or equine professional is not responsible for an injury or death of a participant in equine activities resulting from inherent risks of equine activities, pursuant to chapter 773 of Title 04 of the Official Code of Florida Annotated.

Georgia:

WARNING
Under Georgia law, an equine activity sponsor or equine professional is not responsible for an injury or death of a participant in equine activities resulting from inherent risks of equine activities, pursuant to chapter 12 of Title 04 of the Official Code of Georgia Annotated.
 
#13 ·
While I agree that the BO is prolly just looking out for your horse in ways ( while people may over blanket horses- what people said about blanketing a thin horse may help), I feel its a bit micromanaged. My BO doesn't like that I use a lung whip when I lunge... so if we lunge in alesson, I don't use it- do it her way. When I lunge- I do it my way. I am not risking my safety, my horses safety, or anyone elses ( mostly I am alone- but if I am with someone, I simply state ' I am using a whip', but I never had to crack it or anything)

I would just suck it up for the 3 months and then go if you want to get a way from it. Don't burn bridges- you may never know if you have to come back in the future. Listen to what she says as advice- either take it or leave it- but make educated decisions about it. Also, try to take it in in a different aspect- well, now you can teach your horse to lunge on a line so she knows both ways, right? However, the bit thing- I'd never ride in a bit because some one else states I have to. If my horse isn't controlled enough to go out on trails in a bitless bridle, then I obvious need more arena work learning to control my horse so I am ready to go out on the trails. My horse listens in a bitless in the arena, so if she don't on the trail, something is wrong, and I don't think a bit would make a difference. However, this may just be one of those things you have to deal with while you are there, but I, too, don't understand why it is her business.

Good luck, and remember to enjoy your horse!!
 
#15 ·
I see both sides here. But I do have to say, your BO may be worried about her liability, and I understand that.

I also agree that if your horse is underweight, it's important to keep them blanketed. While you may not be cold, it doesn't mean your horse isn't.
We had an underweight horse at our barn (he was older) and he had to be blanketed a lot more often than everyone else, until he started to gain weight again. It's important.

I say, either follow the rules or look elsewhere and see if you can get a spot reserved.
Otherwise, sit down and talk to the BO and if that doesn't work, not really much else you can do but follow their rules or leave.
Some places are more strict than others.
 
#16 ·
People really see riding without a bit as that dangerous? None of the horses (around 20 horses) where my daughter rides use bits and my daughter has never ridden with a bit (other than trail rides elsewhere). It seems odd to me that people see it as a problem to ride without one.
 
#17 ·
I don't, personally, but the OP states that she was riding in the arena and the she was having an issue with it. The BO felt it was dangerous and told her not to do it any more. Point is, if you see a problem and don't say anything, as a BO you're putting yourself on the hook liability wise. I ride with halter and lead rope 'reins' all the time, especially when fetching a horse up for some distance. But it's my horse, my property, so my problem. If a boarder gets on their horse, on my property, and I see that the horse is not listening and I let it continue a very NON horsey jury could find me negligent.
 
#20 ·
I agree with her place, her rules. I also think that if you are really unhappy, I would find another place that suites your needs better. Not everyone likes or thinks the same way. Another person can be at another place where everyone rides bitless and the B/O is telling them that they can't ride with a bit.

It seems that at this place there isn't too many areas where you guys agree. I would ask her if she would prefer that you move. If you already have a place lined up, she may gladly let you go before your contract is up. I'm guessing that is what is holding you up.
 
#21 ·
I do feel for you OP. Unfortunately, this is the reality of boarding (especially full care, where they take care of the horse). It's her property, what she says goes. I've dealt with a lot of BOs poking their nose where it doesn't belong and being controlling. I always respect them and their wishes, but usually pretty quickly found another place to go.

I got kicked out of one barn for wanting to blanket my horse after I clipped her. I was doing it myself, not asking her to blanket. She didn't like it, told me I was crazy, and said 'I want you out'. Thankfully, I'd already had a place lined up because of other reasons/issues and was out of there the same day.

I recently left a boarding barn that was so controlling and such a 'worry-wart' atmosphere that my beginner-intermediate mother didn't feel comfortable riding there. Heck I didn't even feel comfortable riding there. I always was worried about whether she was looking out her window into the arena and criticizing my riding. My husband did not ride with me even one time while I boarded there. He goes out nearly every week with me now.

My advice to you OP is that if this situation has become so that you cannot enjoy your horse, you need to find somewhere else to go.
 
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