The 30-something's Thread!! *finally* - Page 30
 
 

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The 30-something's Thread!! *finally*

This is a discussion on The 30-something's Thread!! *finally* within the Horse Talk forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Horses category

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        04-11-2013, 11:45 AM
      #291
    Showing
    I have a lesson on Sunday (was Saturday, but I have to work because it's my Saturday to work...kinda hate being short-handed!). And I'm going to have to figure out what organ(s) I can unobtrusively sell so I can pay for all this medical crap I have going on. Why were things so much easier when I was a broke, unemployed college student?! I hate being grown up.
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        04-11-2013, 12:00 PM
      #292
    Yearling
    Wow, it sounds like everyone sure has a lot going on. It's amazing how complicated our lives really are and how you just never know what the next person is dealing with. I always try to keep this in mind before making judgments or assumptions about someone. I think it's really neat that we all lead very different and complex lifestyles, but the one thing that draws us together is our horses.

    It's supposed to storm badly here today, 60 mph winds and hail. I'm going to run down beforehand and put Dalilah and Pan in the stall. I think a week old is just too young to be left out in that kind of storm! I envision him being pelted with hail and running around frantically trying to escape it.

    I secretly smoke some. I totally hide it from my kids lol. I can go without them though, but when I get really upset or stressed I always want one.
         
        04-11-2013, 12:07 PM
      #293
    Yearling
    Well, I'm really smoking today :( things went from bad to worse. I just got suspended from work no pay. With the intention to terminate! Because I called in to many times with my sick kids.
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        04-11-2013, 12:11 PM
      #294
    Yearling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by KyMoMoF3CuTiEs    
    Well, I'm really smoking today :( things went from bad to worse. I just got suspended from work no pay. With the intention to terminate! Because I called in to many times with my sick kids.
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    Oh no! Man, that is so frustrating when you have kids and have no choice!! Can you possibly sit down with a supervisor and see what can be done to keep your job??
         
        04-11-2013, 12:27 PM
      #295
    Yearling
    I talked with her today, she said she understands my situation but..... I told her well then it is what it is and my kids are my top priority!!! ALWAYS! My son is a very sick kid. Like temp of 103 at least once a month if not more. He has asthma and get pneumonia really easy. I have to have him to the dr at least twice a month.
         
        04-11-2013, 01:15 PM
      #296
    Showing
    My GM has been trying to get me to quit since January. See, if I quit, they don't have to pay unemployment. If they fire me, I can collect unemployment. So, they came to me at the beginning of January and said that I wasn't selling enough cars, they'd given me plenty of chances and all the help they could (*cough* BS *cough*), and that the only other position they had available was back in the wash bay (with the implied "Or you can quit" in there). Since I have too many bills to be without a job, I said yes to the wash bay position. Later that same day, one of my friends (who is also a sales person there) overheard the GM complaining to a couple of other managers about the fact that I didn't quit and wanting to know why I didn't go to work for my boyfriend (who works for his mom and doesn't get paid...riiiiiight). Part of the reason I've stayed is kind of just to piss the GM off (he doesn't like me for other reasons).
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        04-11-2013, 01:48 PM
      #297
    Banned
    To join in a quitting smoking conversation, I'd actually have to want to quit. I do ultimately, but not now.

    Just to clarify I wasn't trying to have a little stress whine, laugh, Demon asked how people cope with stress, so that was my half asses answer. :)

    I am sorry for those who have had bad court experiences. My experience of that is slanted the other way, as I am only involved once the kids have been removed. And so I only really see CPS and the courts when they are doing a good job. If there's a battle to remove a child, I wouldn't even be aware of it at that point.

    Demon, I'm confused about which of the three states are being so difficult - but whichever it is, do you know how long it would take to get residency there? Usually it's only a couple of weeks. If I were you, I think I would move to that state for the residency period and then fight for custody there. Just an idea.


    Back2Horseback, people always ask me how I turn the kids around. And honestly I don't always, I just had an epic failure move out. He was just downright dangerous, and the final straw was finding a big knife he had stolen in his bedroom. I think I have about a 20% failure rate.

    But for the kids who do succeed, I don't really do anything different than you are doing with your child. I have clear expectations, I try to never fly off the handle without warning, so I am predictable (not always easy). The first time I ask, the second time my voice has a tone to it, the third time I yell and punish. Most kids learn that it's just easiest to do what I ask, at the time I ask them. When my Mum is visiting she is always shocked that the kids do what I ask immediately, but it's just an expectation for me. I really believe that if you give kids firm guidelines, then most will live up to them.

    I try to make it as much of a family environment as I can. We always eat together, they always go to bed at 10 on a week night, even if they are 19 yrs old.

    The biggest thing to overcome is making them know that I am on their side. It doesn't always seem that way as I have to report when they get in trouble to the office, and then they get in trouble twice, as the office yells at them too. But that's my job, I have to do that. Once they realize I am on their side, they turn around.

    This is turning into a long post (sorry) but my most successful kid, kid 1, made a huge turn around. Last school year, he was failing everything, getting into trouble every day etc. I saw him realizing that I wasn't the enemy and he opened up. He's from another country and when his Mom died, his step dad brought him to America, leaving aunts, uncles, an older brother, grandma etc there. I asked him if he wanted to go back to his family there, or back to step dad here. He wanted to go back there, so I pushed for that in court, it was a battle, but it's now court ordered that he will go back.
    He now has weekly phone calls with his grandma too.

    The kid changed immediately. Even the expression on his face, and the tone in his voice, it all just softened, and he wasn't so angry anymore.
    He's since decided he'd like to stay with me until he finishes school, but didn't have the guts to tell his grandma that, so it was brought up in court, and the order was changed to, he will move when he is ready. And the CYS worker told grandma.

    He's the best kid ever. Never once disrespects me and will freak if other kids start to. He's the role model in the house, and shows the other kids how to behave.



    He had a baseball game last night. My school has a rule that you are not allowed to support an individual player, you have to support the team. Ie, no yelling individual kid names etc.

    That's a nice rule, and it's appropriate for the other kids there who have 3 generations of family members watching them play. My kids don't have those opportunities. So I yelled my head off for him. I yelled so much that he gave me a head nod (which translates as, I hear you, now stop embarrassing me).
    The coach didn't say a word to me, he's welcome to - and I wish him luck with that conversation as there's nothing in the world that's going to stop me cheering on my kids, they have overcome so much more than every other kid there.

    You can't see his face, so I can share the pics.
    Attached Images
    File Type: jpg B baseball 041013 2jpg.jpg (32.2 KB, 25 views)
    File Type: jpg B baseball pitching 041013.jpg (27.4 KB, 24 views)
         
        04-11-2013, 02:16 PM
      #298
    Yearling
    Wow Alex, I really admire your heart! You are doing such a wonderful thing for those boys. I bet you will never even know the magnitude in which you have impacted their lives. You are showing them that they have value and are not disposable, which imo is one of the biggest things a parentless child needs to know.

    I don't like kids, in spite of having 3 of my own. Well, little kids really. I used to love kids when I was younger, but after having to deal with other people's brats in public and everywhere else young kids shouldn't be it has just made me dislike them. I don't hate them and don't wish harm or anything, I just have no use for them. The thought of having another baby makes me want to punch myself in the face and I am so thankful DH had a vasectomy (which I got to watch by the way, one of the best days of my life!) However, I do enjoy limited amounts of holding someone else's baby.

    I bet you guys think I'm just an awful person now. Lol
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        04-11-2013, 02:57 PM
      #299
    Yearling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by EmsTNWalkers    
    I don't like kids, in spite of having 3 of my own.
    I bet you guys think I'm just an awful person now. Lol
    Nope, and nope. I'll be honest in saying that I don't like most people's kids. See, so many parents today let their kids be horrible, rude entitled little monsters, then wonder why the heck their kids turn out to be horrible, spoiled, nasty, rude young adults. LOL. Easy answer: no boundaries, no rules, no discipline. Kinda like those idiots who let their horses do whatever they want because they're fantasizing, then get pegged in the face with a hoof/kicked/thrown/stomped and/or bitten, and keep making excuses...the only difference, really, is the thinking that human beings are different/better than animals...though I guess that holds some water in this case, because you can just Euth a horse, but not your kids...problem solved.

    Yeah, I know I'm weird. /tangent

    Alex, all three states are being stupid. CA is my state of record, but I"d been in PA for four years. PA stepped in even though there wasn't an emergency... technically they shouldn't do that, and they should have reviewed our EIGHT YEARS OF COURT FILE. AZ is where my ex lives, and their police told me to file there. CA stepped out after the second go in court after my (CA) lawyer dropped the ball with the paperwork the first time. Anyway AZ is looking my best bet, but I may or may not have to move there. She's been there 5 months now, and he's fighting me that he doesn't want this taken to AZ. Well he can't keep it here, seeing as how I"m moving!!! Plus I have to file in the jurisdiction that SHE lives in. The thing I"m looking for is if we get a different judge, they may actually DO THEIR JOB, versus this one. At this point, a third lawyer in a third state is looking like my option lol.

    Family court is a special hell I definitely wouldn't wish on anyone.

    @Back--thank you so very much for your kindness! I'll definitely let you know if anything is over your way....the kindness of others is something that I think everyone (including me!) could stand to see more of these days.


    Anyway smoking is kinda gross guys, and expensive. Though not much better than what I do....I EAT. If I'm stressed out, I nibble. I think I'm up over 40 pounds from when I moved to this state! So my stress is kinda obvious! The odd thing is, I gained like 8 pounds this past week even though I haven't been eating differently/more? O_O

    ...I think it would have been better, at that rate, to be a smoker.

    Oh yeah and btw (the obligatory), smoking is bad and it kills you. Think of the extra horsey toys you all could be buying if you saved that money in a piggy bank somewhere. ;)
         
        04-11-2013, 03:09 PM
      #300
    Showing
    Demonwolf, he doesn't want it brought to AZ because AZ is a "mother's state." Unless he can prove to a judge beyond a shadow of a doubt that your daughter being with you would be dangerous for your daughter's physical and emotional safety, he'll lose. Even then, it's difficult for a father to get full custody rights without the mother's express consent.

    If I may ask, what county (or city) is she in?
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