Hi guys. This may get really long, so apologies in advance. Some of you already know from fb why I've not been around the last few days, as tough as it is, I wanted to check in and get some grief off my chest. Who better to understand my pain. DH has to work today and DD is at my parent's so I am home alone wallowing in pain & guilt, sorry for unloading this on you all.
It's been a rough year for loss for me and I am paying the price for loving senior horses. I lost Hondo back in April and I am crushed to say that yesterday I lost Missy. While I love all of my horses, those 2 had my heart. Hondo owned it for a lifetime, Missy made her way in there quickly and took it over the last couple of years.
I went out Thurs am to do chores and found a drenched, trembling Missy. Instantly freaked as she did this once before about 9 months ago. I knew immediately that she was colicking. The sweats & shakes were her reaction to pain (that in itself was terrifying to watch, both times). Vet was called immediately and was on her way. We & my big sweet girl all fought tooth & nail to get her through it. Initial assessment was we were going to try our ****dest but that needing surgery was a high probability and not a realistic option at her age. When I found her, her heart rate was up to 88, very minimal front guttural sounds and very dehydrated. She had been fine when I saw her late the evening prior on last rounds for the day. Vet got here, could feel but not remove rectally a large impaction. (same scenario as the first time she colicked) She was tubed, given banamine, a small amt anti-spasmodic & mild sedative for the shaking (she was exhausting herself with the pain reaction alone) and was monitored non stop for 20 hours and had made a small amount of progress to the positive side. Passed a small amount of gas & manure, HR down to 60, a lot less sweating. I was cautiously optimistic but early yesterday morning her HR jumped back up, she went down and it was over before I had the chance to ease her pain. I feel so guilty for that. She literally tried her heart out. She was one hell of a mare that gave me everything she had up to her very last second.
A bit about my girl and why she stole my heart. She came into my life completely unexpectedly when I wasn't really even looking. I had mentioned getting a seasoned hunter/jumper eventually for myself to have a bit of fun with and lesson kids to start riding english on. My mom had been to a retirement party & horses came up in conversation. A man at the party told my mom that he had a horse. A stellar older Hano mare that was "wasting away" in his pasture because his daughter had moved and her mare had not. Mom asked about her past, she had been a rockstar jumper in her younger days jumping much higher than I ever have had guts or desire for, then lead a top notch string at a competitive university before moving to this man's home. My mom told me about the conversation and I said, why not, let's go see her. As a kid growing up on a QH farm that bred cutting & working horses, I dreamed of riding the Rolex on a big warmblood but that thought was almost sacrilege in my family steeped in working cow horse roots. Went to see her and fell in love. I didn't take tack, he didn't have any so I rode her in the open pasture bb with a halter & lead. She was perfect. It took all of 2 minutes to know she was mine.
The few years we had were awesome. I haven't had that much fun riding in years. The fact that there are breeches in my closet next to 20 pairs of wrangler jeans says something. I have a xc course in my woods, just for her & I. She was the sweetest thing, she was the favorite of all of my lesson kids, even the ones who don't ride english. Gentle giant. She was a put her nose to the grindstone and get it done kind of mare, the only time she was ever a bit hot - when there was a course in front of her, she loved to jump, absolutely loved it. Never uncontrollable hot by a mile but a ton of horse ready and willing to go for it. I can't imagine what she was like when she was younger. Would have loved to have thrown a leg over her then. She was a worthless trail horse but it was fun nonetheless. Every stick, squirrel, heaven forbid a deer, were all quite capable of eating all 16.3 hands of her. She would watch any time I was in the arena with another horse and stand pouting waiting for her turn. Only darn horse I've ever met that begged to be rode. I am going to miss her like crazy and she may very well be the last horse my english saddle goes on. **** it this hurts.
Rest In Peace Missy Moo. Attachment 264649