The 30-something's Thread!! *finally* - Page 29 - The Horse Forum
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post #281 of 4275 Old 04-10-2013, 11:56 PM
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my husband is a marine for about 19 more days. Then he gets downsized after 10 years of loyal service. I've never felt so patriotic. ....he was the supply sergeant, active duty for the I&I here in Erie.

He was last stationed at MCRD, in our hometown

Oh he was 3rd mar div supply as well. Small world.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jareth, the Goblin King
I move the stars for no one.
RIP Pumpkin: 2012-8/26/13
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post #282 of 4275 Old 04-10-2013, 11:58 PM
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Drafty, please thank him for his service. Edit to add - and Demon.


Demon, I am often stressed. I tend to take the weight of the world on my shoulders, and get stressed out. I have kids facing jail if they don't improve, and I take that as being my responsibility. And partly my fault when and if they go.

Negative coping - I smoke and drink more than I should.
Positive - I try to get me time. Me time doesn't have to be productive, it can be turning my phone off and sleeping in, or it can be time with Lucas.
With the kids I tend to live with long term stress, and so I just suck it up, that's made easier by making tasks smaller. For example kid right now has til the 25th to clean up or go to detention. Rather than viewing it as 2 weeks, I do it on a day by day basis.
A friend told me about the power of 'now' you deal with each now rather than the long term view - and before you know you are sucking it up and dealing with it.
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post #283 of 4275 Old 04-11-2013, 12:00 AM Thread Starter
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Robert was in from 1991-1995 active (1995-1999 inactive reserve). He served in Somali and Kuwait.
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post #284 of 4275 Old 04-11-2013, 02:30 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AlexS View Post
Drafty, please thank him for his service. Edit to add - and Demon.


Demon, I am often stressed. I tend to take the weight of the world on my shoulders, and get stressed out. I have kids facing jail if they don't improve, and I take that as being my responsibility. And partly my fault when and if they go.

Negative coping - I smoke and drink more than I should.
Positive - I try to get me time. Me time doesn't have to be productive, it can be turning my phone off and sleeping in, or it can be time with Lucas.
With the kids I tend to live with long term stress, and so I just suck it up, that's made easier by making tasks smaller. For example kid right now has til the 25th to clean up or go to detention. Rather than viewing it as 2 weeks, I do it on a day by day basis.
A friend told me about the power of 'now' you deal with each now rather than the long term view - and before you know you are sucking it up and dealing with it.
Alex, I have the absolute utmost respect for folks taking on foster children (this is your situation, as I understand it?) Especially in this tremendously challenging day and time...everything is tougher, especially life with kids!

Coping with that kind of stress is very difficult. I find I have trouble coping with my life and feeling that just the small daily demands often feel so overwhelming that I'm not sure how to best tackle them. I have a learning disabled step son who also has some minor mental health issues. He has come a TREMENDOUS WAY since my husband and I have had FULL-CUSTODY with very limited visitation with his mom (DH's ex wife) because she has significant problems and he needs a very relaxed, open (communication), loving, and structured environment. He also literally worships his dad, my husband, so we are very lucky that he has chosen dad as his "role model" & not the thug kids at the inner-city-type public school he attends!

He's also the biggest hearted boy you can know, and just wants to do everything "right", so when shown the right path, he very happily chooses it...He has had a challenging life however, and when, due to the ridiculous court system, we had to share custody 50/50, he was miserable. I'd love to hear more about how you manage to turn these kids around, especially in a matter of such short time frames. Your effort is to be commended and honestly, it would be wonderful if more people made the kids of today a priority in their lives, even if it just involved being a mentor if unable to foster. You are clearly a unique and special person!

Drafty, that cat is SO cute...and I'm not a cat person anymore, but had an orange tabby like yours...they have some of the best personalities!! He's soooo funny with the cone on...glad the neuter went well!! :0)

Thank you to all of those who served/serve now...I respect our service men and women of all branches of the armed forces and our veterans enormously, always have, even prior to marrying one. DH served in Dessert Storm, prior and after, as a member of the Army's 82nd Airborne 2/505th infantry unit...he was an amazing troop. His time "in" really shaped the rest of his life and who he is as a man today. The military turns out amazing men and women, generally speaking.

Loving all the pics, of everything, guys...keep Em coming!! Okay all...sweet dreams!! :0)
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"I'm too busy working on my own grass to notice if yours is greener"
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post #285 of 4275 Old 04-11-2013, 02:37 AM
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Back2Horseback...the custody court system is a god****ed JOKE In this country and I'd rather not get started on it, but I will say this: when my ex kidnapped (oh excuse me, I guess we call that "frustrated visitation" when he refused to return her across state lines) my daughter 2 years ago, the AZ pd would not help me enforce my order. We got lucky when CPS demanded he send her back and his lawyer there agreed, that he complied. Fast forward to now, when PA stepped in stupidly, and CA originally defended it's order? Guess what? AZ still won't enforce a signed court order from it's BORDER STATE, they only recognize AZ judges. Right.

The true funny is that after all the BS that I went through with CA-AZ and now PA, I'm trying to force the issue to PA. So much screwed up in my family due to family court bullcrap it's not even funny. I find it sickly amusing that a ******* who called me his "weekend piece of a**" (didn't know it at the time), slapped me off of the couch while I was pregnant, shoved me into door corners, also when pregnant, left me stranded five miles plus from home in the San Diego July weather, also while pregnant, kicked me in the chest in front of my DD when I wasn't pregnant, and slammed my head into a car window...oh and could have killed my daughter when he refused to get her medical care years ago...yeah that ******* has temp custody. Sounds like a stellar individual to raise a little girl, right?! Family court fails so hard when it manages to fail.

So yeah , I may be seeing a lot of AZ. He doesn't want to go there, because the judge may follow their own rules, or common sense and actually review the entire case, or care about reality...but then again, after the prior dealings I've had with AZ...maybe not... UGH

X_X

I really hate court. CLEARLY it doesn't always end up best, but then again, I guess you'd have to know me to realize it ='(...

I'm going to bed. =(

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jareth, the Goblin King
I move the stars for no one.
RIP Pumpkin: 2012-8/26/13
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post #286 of 4275 Old 04-11-2013, 06:51 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DraftyAiresMum View Post
Mandy, Honor is growing up so fast! And Merit is as handsome as always.

Here's Cosmo and his cone of shame:

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Now that is the laugh I needed this morning! What an adorable cat! I'm very partial to orange tabbies, especially with my big fat orange boy Titus. Reminds me of Puss n' Boots when he let himself go in one of those Shrek movies.

Alex - what a frustrating siutation you are in. I don't think I could deal with that much stress and still manage to stay reasonably sane. You are one strong woman to say the least and I'm sure those foster children will look back and be thankful to you someday - even if some don't realize it right now. On of my good HS friends was raised by a foster mom and she is still thankful to this day for all the support and guidance she was given. She still got in trouble at times, but she is on a much better path due to her foster mom's influence.

On a different note, why do we always get heavy rains and storms as soon as we lay out seed on our new pasture? Its quite hilly so heavy rains tend to wash a good portion of it away. Never fails.

All I pay my psychiatrist is cost of feed and hay, and he'll listen to me any day!

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post #287 of 4275 Old 04-11-2013, 07:06 AM
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im 30..still in college...have no idea what the hell I plan on doing when im out...and I have the maturity of a 15 year old..how sad is that? Rofl
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post #288 of 4275 Old 04-11-2013, 10:32 AM
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Originally Posted by Khainon View Post
im 30..still in college...have no idea what the hell I plan on doing when im out...and I have the maturity of a 15 year old..how sad is that? Rofl
Eh, nothing wrong with that. I did the opposite. Went to college, had a great high paying career and here I am back at my roots working with horses and the folks attached to them for a living.

Quote:
Originally Posted by AlexS View Post
Negative coping - I smoke and drink more than I should.
Right there with ya. I quit smoking and was doing awesome but when I had to put Hondo down I sent (well, more like barked orders at DH) to go get me smokes. I've got 3 packs left and then I'm going to give it another go. E-cig, that's what helped me the most this last time around. I'm pissed at myself for caving in and it sucks because in the time I wasn't smoking, I felt great. You don't realize you feel like dirt until you feel normal for the first time in a long time. I just gave up all caffeine & carbonated beverages too, that garbage is harder to give up than cigarettes. I'd kill for a diet coke about now. I will say that the drinking part, someone will have to pry my few glasses a week of muscadine from my cold dead hands.

Another thanks to all that have served & have family/significant others serving. I know I don't have the guts for it and very much look up to and respect those who do!
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Life is like a camera. Focus on what's important, Capture the good times, Develop from the negatives and if things don't work out, Take another shot.
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post #289 of 4275 Old 04-11-2013, 10:38 AM
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Oh boy, do I hear ya, Demon! I'm so very, very sorry to hear of your abuse and that your child has been subjected to seeing some of it...the AZ courts are very...odd. I'll simply say that DH and I spent the first six years of our marriage, in court with his ex-wife. With the exception of one hearing, we chose to represent ourselves rather than become in debt to an attorney for the rest of our lives...and thank G-d, we won...everything we asked for, but...it took, as stated, a total of SIX YEARS for CPS and the family services court liasons, to complete their investigations. It was so hard on Jake and my husband's younger son, Ethan, who chose to stay with his mother-and it has caused tremendous damage to Ethan (DH and ex have two boys, two years apart)...the therapists tried to encourage Ethan (14 year old; now, then was eight) to live with us, but his mother is very manipulative and made him feel SHE would be "all alone" if he came to live full-time with us)...he's beginning to realize finally that perhaps he didn't make the right choice, but since there was no (overt) "abuse" of either boy by their mother, CPS ultimately allowed Ethan to choose.

My husband is heartbroken as a result, but we rarely talk about it, because he says it's too upsetting for him. Males, as we know, tend to bottle it all up...sometimes he opens up. Kills me how hurt he is, and how much damage we know is being done to Ethan. We HAVE TO BELIEVE G-d has a plan. That's all we have to hold on to, and being so thankful for Jakob being with us.

Sigh...better times ahead, right folks?!! Demon, if you're ever coming to Az for court stuff or whatever, pm me, let me know, and I'll see what I can do to help you and your family while here! Or, if you ever need something picked up/mailed/ hand delivered, etc...(if it's in Tucson, that you're dealing with courts, as that is where I live!), I'd be more than happy to help!!

So on a positive note...who's riding/doing something fun this weekend!! I imagine one thing that WON'T be happening this weekend is Drafty won't be washing her sheets thirty times due to kitty tinkle!! Yay!!

I'm off after tomorrow for FIVE DAYS and cannot WAIT...then I begin my regular three 12s on Thursday morning next week. I'm going to absolutely make the MOST OF THIS FIVE DAY BREAK...YEAY!!!

Hope y'all are having a great morning!! B2H :0)

"I'm too busy working on my own grass to notice if yours is greener"
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post #290 of 4275 Old 04-11-2013, 10:44 AM
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Hey guys... Sorry to double post, but, just realized with Mandy's post which I read after posting my last one, (I think it went up at the same time as mine maybe?), that soooo many of us smoke! I do, too, and totally want to quit...maybe we should start a QUITTING SMOKING (?) thread!!!

Who's up for it?

"I'm too busy working on my own grass to notice if yours is greener"
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