I posted this in the jokes section, but I thought I'd post it here too:
35 THINGS YOU CAN ONLY SAY IN A BARN OR STABLE:
1. He won't come into my hands!
2. There's nothing like having 17 hands between your legs.
3. I'm going to get off now.
4. More leg, less hand...
5. It was a great ride, but he's kinda sticky.
6. He needs a good 20 min warm-up...
7. Relax your back, don't pinch with your knees, go with the motion, rock your pelvis...
8. When he gets excited he really foams up!
9. If he's not ridden 5 days a week he gets cranky...
10. I rode yesterday, but Gwen is going to ride him today.
11. Go ahead, ride him, you'll like him...he'll be good for you!
12. Push!!! Squeeze!!! Pull hard!!!
13. He's being a pig, get his head up!
14. He bends to left, but he's really stiff to the right.
15. He really over reacts when I sit down into him...
16. Smack him if he refuses!
17. Good, that's looks much better with his head down.
18. When your getting ready for a jump, press your knuckles firmly into his neck, to push yourself off.
19. You want his hindquarters to be balanced and even with yours.
20. If you squeeze with your thighs and legs he'll get off earlier.
21. You two perform really well with each other!
22. Go hack him for a few minutes.
23. Turn him out for a while.
24. I rode him bareback.
25. He's/She's been around.
26. My trainer's going to do him in the PreGreens and Lows.
27. He's too much for her, maybe you should get on.
28. He's a bit of a bumpy ride, just try not to grip with ur thighs too much.
29.Make sure you release.
30. Don't lean forward unless you want him to go faster.
31. Don't pump too much.
32. Squeeze and release... squeeze and release...give and take
33. "How was he today?" reply... "Excellent, very obedient for once."
34. I got my daughter a made one, he's super easy.
35. I just love riding the big ones!
36.QUICK!! Grab it before he sucks it back in!
37. I brought my spurs and my big whip just in case he's naughty
38. He't the barn bad boy; he tries to get everyone off!
39. You need to get him deeper to the base.
40. He was so ridaeable today
41. Give him a little tickle with the whip to really get him working from behind
42. How long do you want me to ride him for?
43. Sit nice and deep when he pulls that trick
44. Let your hips slowly rest into the rhythm and move naturally to the movement
45. I like your breast plate
46. You have to use your legs to push him up into your hands
47. I loved the head that time
48. I can really feel the burn in my thighs from yesterday's ride!
49. If he pulls that trick, give it to him in the mouth
50. Drive with your seat
51. Don't take your legs off!
52. Stick your butt out a bit further and arch your back a bit more ... ahhh! Perfect!
53. Let him to come up to you
54. Roll your thighs as you sponge your hands, that'll get his head down nice
55. Sit back and slow down, make him move to your rhythm
56. Careful how much hand you use, you don't want to pop up.
57. He's like an energizer bunny; he just keeps going and going ...
58. He's a tad bit out of shape, he'll be easy to tire out, but be careful not to hurt him
59. Use your legs to drive him forward
60. I swear I could ride him for hours!