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post #1 of 7 Old 08-09-2009, 10:34 PM Thread Starter
Foal
 
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ad. please read.

my friend and i made this ad for my horse cuz i have to lease him for the school year. does it sound good? ( i took out the actual info cuz i thought it was kinda wierd leaving it there) any ideas are great. thanks


Experienced Event Horse For Lease

(name of horse)

(horse) is a 15.2 hand, 15 year old thoroughbred cross gelding available for lease in the (town) Area. (horse) has been evented successfully through the training level by young riders, and ready to pass on his knowledge to others. He is quiet and simple on the flat, honest and easy to the jumps, bombproof on the trails, and ready for riders of all abilities. Looking for lease from September through May, as rider is attending ski school. For more information and inquiries please contact (info).

THANKSSS!!
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post #2 of 7 Old 08-10-2009, 01:15 AM
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Definitely off to a good start! There are a few details I would change, though: for one, I would take out "as rider is attending ski school" as it isn't relevant and takes up word space. I would add that he knows his basics, i.e. leads, ties, loads, hauls, stands for vet & farrier, is good in traffic, etc. [assuming he does these things well]. You say he jumps, how high? How is his form over obstacles? Is he bold, scopey, eager, etc.? Any competitions/wins? Also, you say he is a TB cross. Do you know what breed he is crossed with? If you do, I would definitely add that in.

&& I would add what type of lease you are offering - on site, free lease, part time, etc.

Hope that helped, sorry for the wordy-ness!
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post #3 of 7 Old 08-10-2009, 07:25 AM Thread Starter
Foal
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
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UPDATED:

let me know who it sounds please!!
Experienced Event Horse For Lease

(name of horse)

(horse) is a 15.2 hand, 15 year old Thoroughbred/Trakener cross gelding available for lease in the (town) Area. (horse) has evented successfully through the training level by young riders, and ready to pass on his knowledge to others. He is quiet and simple on the flat, honest and easy to the jumps, bombproof on the trails, and ready for riders of all abilities. Loads and trailers well, stands nicely on cross-ties, stands for vet and farrier. Looking for (free) lease from September through May. For more information and inquiries please contact (info).
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post #4 of 7 Old 08-10-2009, 07:29 AM
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sounds pretty good, actually might be interested, what area of country are you in if you can say
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post #5 of 7 Old 08-10-2009, 10:33 AM
Green Broke
 
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I would add a few pictures too. Whenever I look at ads, I never look at the ones with no picture just because I want to see what the horse looks like. ya know?

When God Made Horses, He Painted The Good Ones.
"All I pay my psychiatrist is the cost of feed and hay, and he'll listen to me any day."
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post #6 of 7 Old 08-10-2009, 11:20 AM
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Sounds like a nice horse.
Except it spelled trakehner, sorry I can't stand to read ads with spelling errors ^^'
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post #7 of 7 Old 08-10-2009, 11:22 AM
Green Broke
 
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Location: Arkansas
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Instead of "for free lease" I would say "to free lease this great gelding to the the right rider". If someone is looking "for" a free lease, then they are the rider looking for a horse.
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