Advice needed on horse & friend issue - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 23 Old 08-14-2012, 10:48 PM Thread Starter
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Advice needed on horse & friend issue

Hey guys,

I had my cryptorchid stallion Jaxxon gelded on the 3rd of August.

I had him gelded so early (I would have preferred to wait until September) because I've petty much got him sold to a very nice lady up in Vermont. a shipper will be picking him up sometime in September.

However, my friend helped me to sell him and asked only for 50 dollars, which I agreed on, with her understanding that I couldn't pay her until I got the first payment for Jax (which should be here in a week or so).

What I need advice on is this: Jaxxon is supposed to go to my friend for her to refine his groundwork and do a little extra training before he leaves for Vermont (the buyer requested it, if possible, because she's bought a horse from my friend before). My friend was/is supposed to keep him for a month, but he was too sore to leave my place after being gelded to go to her place and it feels like she's trying to 'push' me to send him to her place, even though I'm not comfortable with doing so at the moment.

At my friends place, Jaxxon will be pastured with her gelding and young stallion, and they will probably fight a little or try to play. Jax is doing good, but I don't feel comfy with him being pastured with other horses until he's more healed. He's still a little swollen and the cuts the vet made when gelding him (he had surgery to find the undescended testicle) haven't healed yet. Plus, yesterday afternoon he did something to his front leg and it's swollen and he's lame on it right now.

I told my friend this and she still wants him at her place to work with him, even though he's currently favoring his front leg and still a little sore and swollen, and on penicillan shots, Bute, and still is being walked and hosed out/off daily because he's draining so much still.

Am I in the right for wanting to keep him home and keep a close eye on him until he heals up more or should I go ahead and send him to her, where he will be pastured with other horses and where I'm afraid he'll injure himself worse by playing or fighting with her horses?

Help, please!

Horseshoe Loop Farm: Home of Gypsie (22 y/o TWH mare), Dakota (10 y/o TWH gelding), Codie (18 y/o Walkaloosa gelding) & Harlow (9 y/o APHA mare)
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post #2 of 23 Old 08-14-2012, 11:07 PM
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I'm having this removed. You could stop assuming I'm such a villian and always out to do you harm in some way, shape, or form.
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post #3 of 23 Old 08-14-2012, 11:11 PM
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Oh wow lol
But to answer you question I'd keep him at home til he was healed.
BTW I think your friends a ninja therefore you can't post anything without them knowing/ finding out.
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post #4 of 23 Old 08-14-2012, 11:13 PM
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Your horse's safety comes first. He is your horse, keep him home as long as you want. Do not send him until you feel comfortable. Those queasy gut instincts are things you should listen to. Pull the "My vet said..." card if you have to

Assure her that you are not backing out(she might be worried) and that this is just a very minor setback. and don't forget to thank her kindly for being so understanding and wonderful for doing this for you and you appreciate it. Make her feel important. If she feels like you are going to blow her off, she might get snippy and uppity. If you make her feel important, she will be more likely to be more patient.
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post #5 of 23 Old 08-14-2012, 11:22 PM
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This post is about me, and I would like to explain myself without sounding like a total b*tch.

I sent her a message vie FB saying we needed to try and get him here Saturday. That was w/o know how he was doing. I haven't had a chance to talk to her in a few days and was just going off of the "he's doing good" posts. I am NOT trying to push anything, although I do feel she is being a little clingy and wanting to sort of "control" the situation. Which, I understand the clingy part. She loves him, I know and I know she wants to be totally sure he is up to moving and starting work. Plus, I'm sure she's feeling a little anxious over having to let him go. All understandable.

What got THIS started is that I do a little training on the side for other people, and I had a bad experience with a guy recently. I posted on a chat group "Never deal in horses or money with people you like at all. It only causes problems." She saw this and automatically assumes it's about her. Yes, I have been forward with her getting him hear, because we are all on a dead line. He needs to be here for some time for me to get anything significant out of his training. I do feel like she is not wanting that to happen. Idk, just a feeling.
I mean her no harm, I'm not trying to take over this situation either. I just realize the amount of time I have towork with him, and I fear that- if she had it her way- he wouldn't be here more than a few days.

Anyhow. There's both sides of this story for you guys to interpret. Take it as you will.
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post #6 of 23 Old 08-14-2012, 11:24 PM
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Very poor form to air dirty laundry on a site when you know the other party is also a member, OP *shakes head*
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post #7 of 23 Old 08-14-2012, 11:31 PM
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She didn't name names - no one knew who she was talking about until that person volunteered.

OP- Your horse, your rules. If you don't feel right letting him go elsewhere, then don't.

* I'm often reading and posting from mobile and Siri loves to make a mockery of the English language.
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post #8 of 23 Old 08-14-2012, 11:35 PM
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Naming names or not, OP knew that the person she was venting about was here. Maybe it's just me, but I've always believed you don't talk crap about someone in a group of people when that person is also a part of that group - it puts everyone in a very awkward position. OP knew who she was talking about and also knew that the other party would see the post and know who it was about. That, to me, is bad manners *shrugs*
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post #9 of 23 Old 08-14-2012, 11:38 PM Thread Starter
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I just wanted advice on what yall would do. Yes, I'm still sending him to Hannah, just I don't know when. It will depend on when he is better and I feel comfortable sending him to her. Right now I feel like it would stress him out and set back his healing time. I wanted to know if anyone here would go ahead and send him or wait.

We don't even know when the 'deadline' is yet, as the buyer hasn't gotten that information yet.

I knew my friend was a member of this site and I never intended to hide this thread from her, so I don't see how that is bad form if I meant for her to see it and I knew she woud and add her side.

I guess the bottom line is that I sort of feel pressured to send Jax on to her place when I feel like it's not in his best interests at the moment. All he's going to work on is groundwork, and I'm perfectly capable of doing groundwork. I guess that's what I really don't get is just why the buyer is wanting my friend to finetune his groundwork, when I'm capable. I just don't have qite as much time as my friend... and Jax is lame right now thanks to tripping in a hole in the Lot (I'm just guessing here, but it's a big possibility that he stepped in a hole at a trot or slow canter and twisted his fetlock, he's on Bute for it, though, and it isn't very bad) so he can't do much anyway without overtaxing his leg, which I'm not about to let happen.

Horseshoe Loop Farm: Home of Gypsie (22 y/o TWH mare), Dakota (10 y/o TWH gelding), Codie (18 y/o Walkaloosa gelding) & Harlow (9 y/o APHA mare)
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post #10 of 23 Old 08-14-2012, 11:41 PM Thread Starter
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I also wasn't venting. Believe me, you'd know if I was venting. I was just asking for advice on what yall would do.

Horseshoe Loop Farm: Home of Gypsie (22 y/o TWH mare), Dakota (10 y/o TWH gelding), Codie (18 y/o Walkaloosa gelding) & Harlow (9 y/o APHA mare)
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