No problem sweetie, I do know how you feel. I think most of us sort of feel their way along sometimes. I think it has to be like raising kids (or at least good practice) working with a horse is trial and error most of the time. It can be very frustrating whether your a pro or a novice.
I get a little freaked when I think about starting my 2 this spring. One day I think they are really sweet and it will be a piece of cake, the next I think they will probably kill me
It will be ok, I do think you need to look into an expo, there lots of fun. They are usually put on by a state horse association. You might try goggling that.