Always knew what to do...but I'm lost now..don't want to let go.. - Page 2
 
 

       The Horse Forum > Keeping and Caring for Horses > Horse Talk

Always knew what to do...but I'm lost now..don't want to let go..

This is a discussion on Always knew what to do...but I'm lost now..don't want to let go.. within the Horse Talk forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Horses category

    Like Tree23Likes

     
    LinkBack Thread Tools
        04-01-2013, 02:41 PM
      #11
    Foal
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Taffy Clayton    
    You can always just ask, he did give her to you once. You can ask the new barn if they will get her and you can pay them.
    You can offer to buy her for, hopefully, a small fee.
    Get a bill of sale.
    Start with the easiest solution first. You never know, he might be having a good day.
    That's the other thing. If the new barn came and got her. I feel like I need to make sure he doesn't know where she's going. But I'm scared somehow he'll find out.

    I have her APHA sale papers..and I just never switched them to my name, cause I guess I just didn't need too. But I could now.

    And as far as a small fee goes...he paid $2,000 for her. Which was a little much....I think. But if I had to "buy her from him" I don't think I could do that. She is my horse that's the thing...I shouldn't have to buy her. If anything I'm taking her off his hands, I'm helping him out. But I don't know if he'll understand.
         
    Sponsored Links
    Advertisement
     
        04-01-2013, 02:44 PM
      #12
    Foal
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Ray MacDonald    
    I would say put your mare in your name and then ask your dad if you can move her to this barn. If he says no, you would have legal rights to move her. It would royally piss him off but you need to get away from him as much as possible!
    I don't even know anything about legal rights. I mean if it came to that..what would I have to do? Take him to court? I mean I would...that mare means the world to me. And I have gotten away from him...I moved out and I don't get to go to the barn anymore, switched my phone number and he has no real way to contact me. Unless I go out to the barn.
         
        04-01-2013, 02:56 PM
      #13
    Foal
    And another question....how do I explain all of this to the women I've been emailing about barn help/hacking/in exchange for board?

    She seems so nice...she said I can come out and we can hack a couple horses and talk this week! Even after I told her I'm only 17 and in still in school...she still wants my help with her horses. Which is rare...cause usually when I inquire about barn jobs people are intrested until I tell them I'm 17.

    But I want to still work and ride for her even if I can't bring Priss out there. Because I still want to ride even if I my mare..if worse comes to worse, it still be nice to be involved with riding. She said I could even show her eventing mare. But what if I explain the whole situation with my dad and she changes her mind? Or should I not say anything about my dad and just work something out for board? I want to be completly honest...but I'll do anything to keep my mare safe ):
         
        04-01-2013, 03:12 PM
      #14
    Trained
    Well... This is certainly the pickle that you're in.

    First off, I agree with others and would just ask him if you can keep the mare. Explain to him that she is basically useless to anyone else and to sell her would be sending her right back to where she was when you guys first got her.
    If he agrees, I would get someone else (not your father) to move her and I would not tell him where she is going.
    You would, of course, have to explain the bare bones to the new BO in case he manages to find where she's at and shows up - to have that unexpectedly would not be fair to her, but if she understands the situation I bet she's willing to help.

    I have to disagree with Ray in regards to you having any legal rights. So far as it sounds, it sounds like your father will have all the bills for feeding, vets, farrier, board, etc. In a situation very similar that I had, that's all I needed to show proof of ownership, as no papers were involved. That just seems like adding fuel to a fire that you really don't need.
    If he doesn't, perhaps you can help find her a home where she will be used gently as child's lesson horse?

    If that doesn't work on agreeable terms, I'm going to play the Devil's Advocate.
    You're 17, in school, trying to get a grip under your feet, and you sound like have a lot on your plate.
    I understand this mare has been there for you through thick and thin, and I completely understand how hard it is let go of your heart horse (I had to sell mine in December due to my car accident), to even just think about it. I sat in that hospital bed and I'd cry every time I emailed the lady to make arrangements for pick up and payments. I was still in the hospital when he left so I never got to say goodbye. It still hurts to this day, you bet. But I coped, because it was what I had to for myself.

    You sound like you got an incredible head on your shoulders, and seem to be an amazing young women. But if worst comes to worst, I hope you may be able to realise that letting her go may be the best thing for you.
    It sounds like you need to step back and down and get a breather for yourself away from your father, and as much as it's not your mares fault, it's going to be hard for you to do that if he's always holding her over your head.
    I've no doubt that you'll get back into horses again, and I know you'll find one to love again - and realistically, one that will be able to better you in terms of riding and ability.

    I know this all sucks and there isn't one part of it that's going to be easy for you, but I hope that if worst comes to worst, you can put your own welfare above your mares because in the end, you're the one that really counts.

    ((((hugs)))
         
        04-01-2013, 03:19 PM
      #15
    Started
    I'm sorry for your situation but you really do need to sit down and think if this horse is the best thing for you. Yes, going to a barn is therapy for all of us and it helps us through a lot, but you are 17. You're life will dramatically change in the next 4-5 years. College, career, living arragements. A horse may be more stress then needed in the coming years. Whatever you decide and do I wish you luck.
    VelvetsAB and Faye83 like this.
         
        04-01-2013, 03:21 PM
      #16
    Foal
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by WSArabians    
    Well... This is certainly the pickle that you're in.

    First off, I agree with others and would just ask him if you can keep the mare. Explain to him that she is basically useless to anyone else and to sell her would be sending her right back to where she was when you guys first got her.
    If he agrees, I would get someone else (not your father) to move her and I would not tell him where she is going.
    You would, of course, have to explain the bare bones to the new BO in case he manages to find where she's at and shows up - to have that unexpectedly would not be fair to her, but if she understands the situation I bet she's willing to help.

    I have to disagree with Ray in regards to you having any legal rights. So far as it sounds, it sounds like your father will have all the bills for feeding, vets, farrier, board, etc. In a situation very similar that I had, that's all I needed to show proof of ownership, as no papers were involved. That just seems like adding fuel to a fire that you really don't need.
    If he doesn't, perhaps you can help find her a home where she will be used gently as child's lesson horse?

    If that doesn't work on agreeable terms, I'm going to play the Devil's Advocate.
    You're 17, in school, trying to get a grip under your feet, and you sound like have a lot on your plate.
    I understand this mare has been there for you through thick and thin, and I completely understand how hard it is let go of your heart horse (I had to sell mine in December due to my car accident), to even just think about it. I sat in that hospital bed and I'd cry every time I emailed the lady to make arrangements for pick up and payments. I was still in the hospital when he left so I never got to say goodbye. It still hurts to this day, you bet. But I coped, because it was what I had to for myself.

    You sound like you got an incredible head on your shoulders, and seem to be an amazing young women. But if worst comes to worst, I hope you may be able to realise that letting her go may be the best thing for you.
    It sounds like you need to step back and down and get a breather for yourself away from your father, and as much as it's not your mares fault, it's going to be hard for you to do that if he's always holding her over your head.
    I've no doubt that you'll get back into horses again, and I know you'll find one to love again - and realistically, one that will be able to better you in terms of riding and ability.

    I know this all sucks and there isn't one part of it that's going to be easy for you, but I hope that if worst comes to worst, you can put your own welfare above your mares because in the end, you're the one that really counts.

    ((((hugs)))
    Thank you (: that means so much to me. I don't know if this makes a difference or not....but he was never there for one of the vet visits or farrier visits. He just handed me cash and I dealt with everything else.

    But I agree...I know my safety and well being is important to. I want the best for her, but I want the best for me to. I'd be happy to see her go to a good home where she would be safe and happy. But I know that's not always the case...I just can't bear the thought of her going to an auction or horse broker.
         
        04-01-2013, 03:22 PM
      #17
    Foal
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by wetrain17    
    I'm sorry for your situation but you really do need to sit down and think if this horse is the best thing for you. Yes, going to a barn is therapy for all of us and it helps us through a lot, but you are 17. You're life will dramatically change in the next 4-5 years. College, career, living arragements. A horse may be more stress then needed in the coming years. Whatever you decide and do I wish you luck.
    Thank you...it means a lot (: what helps is knowing that this isn't happening overnight...I know I have some time to figure out what would be best to do.
    stevenson likes this.
         
        04-01-2013, 03:48 PM
      #18
    Green Broke
    Sorry to hear of your problems, that's an awful lot for someone your age. That is unthinkable. DId you say that you have to move out of your Mothers ? Or did I totally misread that ?
    I would ask to have the Horse given to you as a gift. Take someone else with you if you go out to the barn, do not go out there alone.
    Talk to the lady with the board / work situation.
    I hope it all works out for you . Good luck
         
        04-01-2013, 03:58 PM
      #19
    Foal
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by stevenson    
    Sorry to hear of your problems, that's an awful lot for someone your age. That is unthinkable. DId you say that you have to move out of your Mothers ? Or did I totally misread that ?
    I would ask to have the Horse given to you as a gift. Take someone else with you if you go out to the barn, do not go out there alone.
    Talk to the lady with the board / work situation.
    I hope it all works out for you . Good luck
    I moved in to my grandparents house on my mom's side. Thank you (:
         
        04-01-2013, 06:31 PM
      #20
    Super Moderator
    I agree with WSarabians and the others who say that for the moment, you must concentrate on yourself, and building a future for yourself, since the adults in your life seem unable to help you in the way that I would expect a parent to do.

    I think it best that you let her go to someone else. I would start right now trying to find her a new home. Look into a rescue. Or a school, or even a breeder, if she has papers. Find someone who will take her for free or cheap. Then, leave a proposal in written form for your father, with the contact #'s and make it easy for him to unload himself of this burden.
    The only worry I would have is that he would sell her for meat. Do you think he would do that?

    Got get the job at the barn. Help this lady and start helping others with THEIR horses. You'll get the satisfaction of being in the equine world, while not having the financial burdens.

    This is a big turning point for you. Time to grow up. Kind of sudden and harsh, and not fair, but it's here, nonetheless.
    VelvetsAB and Roadyy like this.
         

    Quick Reply
    Please help keep the Horse Forum enjoyable by reporting rude posts.
    Message:
    Options

    Register Now

    In order to be able to post messages on the The Horse Forum forums, you must first register.

    Already have a Horse Forum account?
    Members are allowed only one account per person at the Horse Forum, so if you've made an account here in the past you'll need to continue using that account. Please do not create a new account or you may lose access to the Horse Forum. If you need help recovering your existing account, please Contact Us. We'll be glad to help!

    New to the Horse Forum?
    Please choose a username you will be satisfied with using for the duration of your membership at the Horse Forum. We do not change members' usernames upon request because that would make it difficult for everyone to keep track of who is who on the forum. For that reason, please do not incorporate your horse's name into your username so that you are not stuck with a username related to a horse you may no longer have some day, or use any other username you may no longer identify with or care for in the future.

    User Name:
    Password
    Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
    Password:
    Confirm Password:
    Email Address
    Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
    Email Address:

    Log-in

    Human Verification

    In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.


    Old Thread Warning
    This thread is more than 90 days old. When a thread is this old, it is often better to start a new thread rather than post to it. However, If you feel you have something of value to add to this particular thread, you can do so by checking the box below before submitting your post.

    Thread Tools

    Similar Threads
    Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
    Lost a dear friend to suicide, heartbroken and lost Klassic Superstar General Off Topic Discussion 17 10-15-2012 04:52 AM
    Did YOU knew this about yourself? DutchHorse Jokes and Funnies 5 12-16-2011 01:11 PM
    Who knew? VanillaBean Horse Grooming 4 10-24-2011 10:51 PM



    All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:11 AM.


    Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
    Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
    Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0