Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Alberta, Canada
Well... This is certainly the pickle that you're in.
First off, I agree with others and would just ask him if you can keep the mare. Explain to him that she is basically useless to anyone else and to sell her would be sending her right back to where she was when you guys first got her.
If he agrees, I would get someone else (not your father) to move her and I would not tell him where she is going.
You would, of course, have to explain the bare bones to the new BO in case he manages to find where she's at and shows up - to have that unexpectedly would not be fair to her, but if she understands the situation I bet she's willing to help.
I have to disagree with Ray in regards to you having any legal rights. So far as it sounds, it sounds like your father will have all the bills for feeding, vets, farrier, board, etc. In a situation very similar that I had, that's all I needed to show proof of ownership, as no papers were involved. That just seems like adding fuel to a fire that you really don't need.
If he doesn't, perhaps you can help find her a home where she will be used gently as child's lesson horse?
If that doesn't work on agreeable terms, I'm going to play the Devil's Advocate.
You're 17, in school, trying to get a grip under your feet, and you sound like have a lot on your plate.
I understand this mare has been there for you through thick and thin, and I completely understand how hard it is let go of your heart horse (I had to sell mine in December due to my car accident), to even just think about it. I sat in that hospital bed and I'd cry every time I emailed the lady to make arrangements for pick up and payments. I was still in the hospital when he left so I never got to say goodbye. It still hurts to this day, you bet. But I coped, because it was what I had to for myself.
You sound like you got an incredible head on your shoulders, and seem to be an amazing young women. But if worst comes to worst, I hope you may be able to realise that letting her go may be the best thing for you.
It sounds like you need to step back and down and get a breather for yourself away from your father, and as much as it's not your mares fault, it's going to be hard for you to do that if he's always holding her over your head.
I've no doubt that you'll get back into horses again, and I know you'll find one to love again - and realistically, one that will be able to better you in terms of riding and ability.
I know this all sucks and there isn't one part of it that's going to be easy for you, but I hope that if worst comes to worst, you can put your own welfare above your mares because in the end, you're the one that really counts.