Always knew what to do...but I'm lost now..don't want to let go.. - Page 3 - The Horse Forum

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post #21 of 35 Old 04-01-2013, 10:49 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tinyliny View Post
I agree with WSarabians and the others who say that for the moment, you must concentrate on yourself, and building a future for yourself, since the adults in your life seem unable to help you in the way that I would expect a parent to do.

I think it best that you let her go to someone else. I would start right now trying to find her a new home. Look into a rescue. Or a school, or even a breeder, if she has papers. Find someone who will take her for free or cheap. Then, leave a proposal in written form for your father, with the contact #'s and make it easy for him to unload himself of this burden.
The only worry I would have is that he would sell her for meat. Do you think he would do that?

Got get the job at the barn. Help this lady and start helping others with THEIR horses. You'll get the satisfaction of being in the equine world, while not having the financial burdens.

This is a big turning point for you. Time to grow up. Kind of sudden and harsh, and not fair, but it's here, nonetheless.

That's what I'm afraid of....her ending up at a slaughterhouse. Its so likely for her...with the lameness situation, and so hard to find a home. I have absolutly no problem letting her go, I mean it would be hard..but I could deal with it. I just want to find a good home for her.
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post #22 of 35 Old 04-01-2013, 10:59 PM
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Originally Posted by PaintMare View Post
Thats what I'm afraid of....her ending up at a slaughterhouse. Its so likely for her...with the lameness situation, and so hard to find a home. I have absolutly no problem letting her go, I mean it would be hard..but I could deal with it. I just want to find a good home for her.
Ugh I wish I could help... she'd make a lovely pasture buddy for Sky when he moves states.

I'll keep my fingers crossed that you can figure this out!!
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post #23 of 35 Old 04-05-2013, 04:52 PM Thread Starter
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*UPDATE*

My mom told me she talked to my dad and he said...to tell me that I better find a place for Priss to live. So maybe it will be easier then I thought. Maybe he will just let me take her. Still have to find out how much I can work off in exchange for board..and what all to tell the women about myself and my situation.
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post #24 of 35 Old 04-05-2013, 05:06 PM
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You could say your father had some financial reversals & you are taking over for your mare-this is pretty common nowadays, so need an inexpensive place to keep her, & she has a leg problem so you need another horse to ride.Keep it simple,state the truth, but you don't have to state everything that is going on & all their issues. The sooner you have a place for her, the better I would think.
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post #25 of 35 Old 04-05-2013, 05:18 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Cacowgirl View Post
You could say your father had some financial reversals & you are taking over for your mare-this is pretty common nowadays, so need an inexpensive place to keep her, & she has a leg problem so you need another horse to ride.Keep it simple,state the truth, but you don't have to state everything that is going on & all their issues. The sooner you have a place for her, the better I would think.
that's a good idea...thank you
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post #26 of 35 Old 04-14-2013, 09:26 AM Thread Starter
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UPDATE!!!!!

Soo....I got the job!!!!! The women has 3 OTTB and one pony. The mare that I ride, she got off the track in September and let her be a pasture horse, have some time of up until now. So I get to retrain another OTTB!!! And get paid to do it, along with getting the kids pony ready for the summer, barn chores and working at shows for her!!!! I'm so excited that it all worked out!!!!

The women told me I could bring my mare out there and just work off board completly. AllI'd have to pay for is farrier, dental, and vet bills. And since she's always been a sound, easy keeper...well it'd be possible.

However....my dad told me to "not worry about your horse, she's fine where she is now and doesn't need to move" And it sounds like he's not going to let me take her. Even though it'd help him out with bills...he doesn't use her for anything. I think he's just mad about I guess you could say...the death of out father daughter relationship. And the fact that I've cut off all ties with him, moved out, got my own phone. He's a control freak and now...he's realizing I don't need him for anything anymore. That I'm the only one in his world...that's not terriffied, that's strong enough to get out..and stand on my own two feet. But now...he's trying to get the control back, by keeping the mare from me.

He told me she's fine but truth is she's not....I went out to see her and she was in a muddy pasture with no water, slipping and falling...he hasn't given her the supplements and her feet are really over grown. I don't know what to do. She's my baby...and as much as I'd always said I'd risk my life for her...this time its for real.

She chased me around the pasture....like my bestfriend, when she saw me she started whinnying and trotted over to me, it made me almost cry. I miss her so much. I just don't know what to do.
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post #27 of 35 Old 04-14-2013, 09:47 AM
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You definitely need to get her out of there.

Do you think it would help if you told your father that you wanted to become more independent, and to prove that you were responsible?

Also, another idea - if your mare is quiet and good to ride, why don't you look into leasing her to someone with a small child who might just want to ride occasionally? You could arrange for her to still be at the barn you will be working at, and just charge them a small fee per week per rid or whatever. It'd be a little extra money towards her upkeep at least.
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post #28 of 35 Old 04-14-2013, 11:21 AM
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you had said before that your mom had talked to your dad about finding your mare a place to live. I know you don't want to bother your mom with these things but if she helped before, maybe she will help talk to him again?
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post #29 of 35 Old 04-14-2013, 12:56 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by 5Bijou5 View Post
you had said before that your mom had talked to your dad about finding your mare a place to live. I know you don't want to bother your mom with these things but if she helped before, maybe she will help talk to him again?

Well...my dad had just said to her that I needed to find a place for the mare. And she said I had. It's weird its like my dad goes back and forth, one day he wants to sell them, the next minute he wants to ride and learn more about horses.

I guess I'll just wait it out. The good thing is a trainer at the barn he is at is helping take care of them now. So its not like he's on his own, at least theirs a knowledgable person out there to watch out for them.

I still want her out of there. But I think over time he'll just give up. Even if I have to suck up to him....I guess I figure something out eventually. As long as the mare is being taken care of properly, that's all I care about.

I'd be happy seeing her be sold as a pasture horse, and even if I can't have her...its okay. At this point in my life....I really want to be focused on retraining the OTTB and getting back into the show ring. I also have a strong interest in working with auction horses....maybe if my mare is sold to someone that WILL take care of her...I could foster a rescue horse once I'm over 18..who knows.
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post #30 of 35 Old 04-14-2013, 12:57 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by Tracer View Post
You definitely need to get her out of there.

Do you think it would help if you told your father that you wanted to become more independent, and to prove that you were responsible?

Also, another idea - if your mare is quiet and good to ride, why don't you look into leasing her to someone with a small child who might just want to ride occasionally? You could arrange for her to still be at the barn you will be working at, and just charge them a small fee per week per rid or whatever. It'd be a little extra money towards her upkeep at least.
I would definitely lease her out...its just getting her out of there that is the hard part.
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