Anybody else selfish with their horses? - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 57 Old 08-11-2012, 02:19 PM Thread Starter
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Anybody else selfish with their horses?

Firstly, sorry I've posted a ton of different threads today.

But, I just looked out the window and my family is outside riding Bunny around the pasture.
This is something that I want to stop, now.
If you think this is selfish of me, go ahead and think it because it probobly is. But I just do not want them anywhere near her without me.
They are way too rough with her, they turned my last horse into a crazy, unmanageable, head shy and aggresive horse because he didn't trust anyone due to their handling.

I paid for her, I pay for food and everything that I can.
I think after spending a $1000 of my own just to get her (I don't have a job, am 16) they should respect me and leave her alone. /:
Its so frustrating and they don't listen to me.
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post #2 of 57 Old 08-11-2012, 02:42 PM
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I am selfish, if that's what you want to call it. No one rides my horse unless I am right there and say so. I work long hours training her, conditioning, and building skills, I got my mare she is like Swiss cheese most of her training is there but lots of holes, and if you let her, she goes right back to doing everything half way. I don't even let me friend ride (intermediate rider) unless I am directing her because I don't want bad habits forming. If your the one paying you have every right to have a say in what happens to the horse, what happens if the horse is injuries while they are riding? Are you paying for a vet, or farrier, or replacing fencing, tack?
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post #3 of 57 Old 08-11-2012, 02:57 PM Thread Starter
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Exactly, even though I myself haven't put much training into her since I've only just got her, I don't want to have to since she already knows what her job is.

My family doesn't understand that when you hand feed, she will later start lipping your hands because whats normally there? Food. And then they think she's going to bite and smack her in the head!

And she is very sensitive to leg/hand cues. I went outside and watched, since I couldn't tell them to get off really. And she ended up getting really confused because they were squeezing their legs tight to stay on (I don't have a saddle that fits her at the moment) and she thought they meant to go faster, but then they got mad at her.

This is mostly a rant because I don't know what else to tell them to keep them off. /: They lead with their hand basically under her chin, pull hard and don't know how to ride so end up making her very agitated.

Edit: One of my sisters fell of too, because she got startled by gunshots from the neighbors and sidestepped. Then my dad yanked her around, and I could tell she was frightened as her eyes were wide and she was staring at me like "Help me!" At that point I was almost in tears I was so frustrated.

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Last edited by Foxesdontwearbowties; 08-11-2012 at 03:02 PM.
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post #4 of 57 Old 08-11-2012, 03:12 PM
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Well how about explaining all of this you told us to your family and offering them some lessons? Explain how bad riding will ruin her training and make her dangerous, express your emotions in a calm, constructive manner and be open to questions or objections that may seem silly or offensive. They are just beginners that want to have fun with a horse and they seem to know no better, but maybe, if you are able to put down everything clearly, so that they understand the dangers, something will work out after all.

I am very selfish and protective about my horse. Nobody is to ride him, groom him, treat him without my consensus, and especially no riding. But I am an adult and I keep my horse in a private boarding facility, where all people present are adults with their minds in the right places, so I don't have to worry about anything.

I have come a long way, to surrender my shadow to the shadow of my horse.
/James Wright/
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post #5 of 57 Old 08-11-2012, 03:21 PM Thread Starter
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I am going to talk to them again, and keep on it as there isn't any way I can just "let it go", and hopefully I'll get something out of it.

I try and go out every time they do, and I try to instruct them on the proper way to do things, but it seems that .2 seconds later they are back at it. I honestly think they just don't care.
Like, my dad and mom aren't to ride her as they are too heavy for me to feel comfortable with it. Its not that they are huge or anything, but Bunny is pretty small. I think 800lbs, I haven't weighed her. And with the saddle (my dad thinks saddles are a one size fits all thing, so he tries to use it anyway) that is even more weight and uncomfortableness.

Edit: Sorry, I keep forgetting to add things; The only person I let around her without me is my boyfriend, and our friend Kieth, as they both know how much she means to me and take time to learn how to handle her right. They mostly just pet her though, I think they're a bit scared of her because they've never really been around horses. So obviously if I knew they would handle her right then I would be more okay with it, but probobly still a little on edge.

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Last edited by Foxesdontwearbowties; 08-11-2012 at 03:24 PM.
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post #6 of 57 Old 08-11-2012, 03:22 PM
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I totally get what you are saying. Luckily, this isn't something that I have had to deal with much since no one in my family rode but me and I always boarded until I married and had a place of my own. I am selfish though, in a way. A horse that I used to have was awesome. He was very gentle, watched the little ones, and was a great babysitter. He would do no more than what a person's experience level was no matter how much that person tried. Because of that, every place I boarded, the barn owners would always ask if it was okay if they used him as a mount for inexperienced people coming out and wanting to ride for whatever reason. I would never let them. Some people saw it as selfish and talked about me, but he was mine and I didn't want some whoever riding on him. I didn't mind if people rode him, but I wanted to be there so that if anyone was jerking or kicking on him I could stop it.
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post #7 of 57 Old 08-11-2012, 03:35 PM
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It's your horse, period.
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post #8 of 57 Old 08-11-2012, 03:36 PM
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I am definitely VERY selfish with my horses! When I was still a teenager living with my parents, they felt that since they paid for my horse (we got her when I was only 10) then she was 'mostly' my horse but technically she belonged to the family and so anybody could ride her. Though she wasn't the best mannered horse and so a lot of people were intimidated by her, so I didn't have to share her very often!

Now that I'm 'all grown up' and my husband and I have our own land, I don't ever plan on sharing my girl with anyone. Perhaps I'll lead the nieces and nephews around for a little ride or two but only when I'm holding the lead rope - not the same thing.
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post #9 of 57 Old 08-11-2012, 03:40 PM
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Well, I can see why that would be frustrating, but as I assume you don't pay the mortgage, you're keeping her on your parents' property. Educate them. Tell them why they should be gentle with her, why squeezing with their calves speeds her up, etc.
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post #10 of 57 Old 08-11-2012, 03:43 PM Thread Starter
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Goneriding: Thats how I feel, but I can't tell my parents that. Since they allowed me to get her..

I have 2 years until I can move out, and then I can board her while I'm staying with my boyfriend or wherever I live. But in two years a lot of problems can happen, so I really want to fix this soon. /:
I wouldn't mind leading my younger sisters around, as she is a doll when I'm handling her. Does absolutely everything I ask with or without a lead/halter. Its just when they do it themselves or with my mom/dad/older sister.

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