Is this an appropriate thing to be asked?
 
 

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Is this an appropriate thing to be asked?

This is a discussion on Is this an appropriate thing to be asked? within the Horse Talk forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Horses category

     
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        07-01-2011, 09:30 PM
      #1
    Weanling
    Is this an appropriate thing to be asked?

    Ok some of you may know that I've been looking at a 5yo APHA mare (here's her pic). She is owned by the barn manager of the stables at the military base we are stationed at. I've gone down to see/ride her twice now, definitely interested, and we have been talking back and forth and working on getting to a price and terms that is good for everyone involved. If it were up to me I'd spend 10K on a horse but unfortunately (actually it's a good thing) I am limited by the budget my responsible husband gives me Considering I came home and told him I fell in love with a horse twice the amount we had talked about, he's responding quite well!

    Anyways, the barn manager basically came out and asked me about our financial situation (with the military, everyone knows how much money you make because of you or your husband's rank). My husband had asked me to see if she would be interested in doing a few payments over the course of 2-3 months, again because he wasn't budgeting for a horse in this price range and the situation would work well because she would obviously be staying at the same place and still be cared for by her former owner (and wouldn't officially be ours until paid in full). Her husband is a Captain and I think she was surprised when she found out mine was as well, and I got the impression today that she was wary of our financial situation because we suggested a payment plan. We can certainly afford to pay for this horse up front (and probably now will do that) - it was never about that - it just seemed like something that might work, but she was asking me basically if we could afford vet care, board, feed, etc. She knows I've owned horses in the past so I have to admit I was a little taken aback by this. I understand her intentions are good and she cares about her horse, but I guess I was just caught off guard. My husband and I are very financially stable and wouldn't be looking at another horse if we couldn't comfortably afford it, and I've never had to, nor do I feel like I should have to convince someone of that or prove to them that we have the means. It was a little awkward. What does everyone think?

    It's certainly not a deal breaker and her and I get along just fine, I was just surprised by this and wanted to get some opinions on how to respond if it comes up again. I feel like she wants a credit check or something!! (Laughing)
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        07-01-2011, 09:56 PM
      #2
    Green Broke
    If I was selling an expensive horse, say 3K or more I would be put off if someone didn't have the money up front so I don't think she was out of line. If was selling and someone didn't have all the money I would be concerned how they might pay for an emergency or something of that nature.
    I would tell her taht you have the funds available but your money wise husband just wanted to ask so that you had some extra cushion.
         
        07-01-2011, 09:58 PM
      #3
    Weanling
    Well, you basically answered your own question, lol. No, it's not normal or polite, but you understand where she was coming from and this does tell you she truly cares about the horse. You should explain to her everything you said above, about the payment plans and such. Tell her you hope you didn't give off the vibe that you couldn't care for the horse, and that you are responsible and able to care for vet fees, etc. You should probably talk this over with her, otherwise it'll cause more misunderstanding. I wish you the best of luck in buying a new horse, the horse does seem nice from the pictures =)
         
        07-01-2011, 09:58 PM
      #4
    Super Moderator
    My dad is retired military. He was in the Army and I remember my mom always used to refuse to go to the Officers wives Teas and crap that they had because they always seemed to look down their noses at her. You see, she was a stay at home mom with four children. And even though my dad was the same rank, and sometimes higher then their husbands, they felt superior somehow.

    Do you think she that kind of person or is she just concerned because todays economy is so bad? Either way, her being military she should know that your credit is very important to you! Sheesh! But I think it's probably a valid concern of hers since it sounds like its a fair amount of money. Did you offer to write up an agreement? That way she won't have to be concerned about something happening to the horse and her being stuck with vet bills becuase she technically owns it?
         
        07-02-2011, 02:27 AM
      #5
    Banned
    I would not like some random person or friend asking those questions, but your trainer is likely asking so they can pass an opinion on whether the horse is worth it.

    Of course it is not a comfortable thing to discuss finances, but I would talk about a buying budget with my trainer.
         
        07-02-2011, 09:33 AM
      #6
    Green Broke
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by AlexS    
    I would not like some random person or friend asking those questions, but your trainer is likely asking so they can pass an opinion on whether the horse is worth it.

    Of course it is not a comfortable thing to discuss finances, but I would talk about a buying budget with my trainer.
    I understood it that the trainer is the one selling the horse and is concerned for it's long term care not what it is worth??
         
        07-02-2011, 10:04 AM
      #7
    Weanling
    I wouldn't care for it either. I expressed hesitation on another forum at spending an extra 1k than I had intended to spend for a horse and basically got the same reaction. Someone even told me I didn't need horses if I didn't have money to spend! I have it, we can certainly take care of our horses. It was just more than I had planned on and that makes me feel a little uncomfortable. I was a bit insulted by people assuming any hesitation on the upfront cost meant I was some fool who hadn't thought out all the other expenses of ownership. I can understand exactly how you felt.

    I can see why the trainer would be concerned but it seems like there may have been a more sensitive way to approach the subject.
    Posted via Mobile Device
         
        07-02-2011, 11:45 AM
      #8
    Weanling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Dresden    
    I wouldn't care for it either. I expressed hesitation on another forum at spending an extra 1k than I had intended to spend for a horse and basically got the same reaction. Someone even told me I didn't need horses if I didn't have money to spend! I have it, we can certainly take care of our horses. It was just more than I had planned on and that makes me feel a little uncomfortable. I was a bit insulted by people assuming any hesitation on the upfront cost meant I was some fool who hadn't thought out all the other expenses of ownership. I can understand exactly how you felt.

    I can see why the trainer would be concerned but it seems like there may have been a more sensitive way to approach the subject.
    Posted via Mobile Device
    Yup, this is exactly what it was. I think people sometimes jump to conclusions and too quickly assume that you can't afford a horse if you hesitate at the price, but just like you said, her cost was a bit higher than the budget we had set, not that we couldn't afford her. And by no means do I believe in haggling people on price or negotiating just for the sake of negotiation. The horse is worth it - worth more than she asking probably - and if we can come to an agreement, great, and if not then I just have to respect our budget and move on in my horse search! Thanks for your opinions, will keep you updated if we bring her home or not
         
        07-02-2011, 12:08 PM
      #9
    Green Broke
    I personally don't like payment plans for something like a horse. There are so many things to factor into a contract when doing this.
    Is the current owner going to keep the horse until it is paid off? If the current owner is keeping the horse during this time, do you pay board? Do you pay for feed, vet, shoes etc while you are paying for the horse or does the current owner? Are you going to be able to ride the horse during this time? Will other people be able to ride the horse? If the horse gets injured during the payment period, can you back out of the contract? Will you get your money back if this happens? If you miss a payment or are late what happens? Etc...
    Things can get complicated and expensive.
    Normally I don't think a seller should ask about you finances. However since you asking her to consider a payment plan, I think it is a reasonable request.
         

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