Back off? long
   

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Back off? long

This is a discussion on Back off? long within the Horse Talk forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Horses category

     
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        10-07-2010, 07:34 AM
      #1
    Green Broke
    Back off? long

    I have a question here and its a difficult situation. This might even be in the wrong forum. How many here have your horses boarded or even on a family members property? I do and my in laws have their own horses. We keep them all together. A while back my MIL bought a gorgeous arab mare. Lets say years ago. She is now around 17? She is the Queen in this herd. In the beginning, she had a Real problem with every one. She tried to dominate me and I didnt let her. She now has respect for me. Because my horses are in this herd, I feel I should have the respect of all the horses. Reason being, I go in the paddock/now pasture to either get my horses or just pet them. I have worked with this dominant mare on my own, for my own good and honestly to help my MIL. I probably shouldnt have but this mare was so insistent on running from you that I decided she needed to face you instead. This was trained in her a year or so ago. I don't just go in the paddock and just pet my horses or just give them treats. I am the same with all of them. Yes my horses get the most attention and love because their mine but I pet and brush and treat (food kind) the rest. How would I feel if my family just came and treated their horses and not mine.? And yes, I do a little more with the dominant horse because she, still to this day, has a hard time trusting anyone. I don't want her afraid of me. Would it be wrong to ignore her and or the others while Im giving treats or brushing my own? I wouldnt mind it if my family did that for my girls. It doesnt bother me. I believe my MIL is upset with me that I call her horse, not really call but say her name outloud, and that I am the only one that can really walk up to her without her walking away. I didnt do this to spite anyone and to take her horse away but because I am out in the paddock alot that's just the way it is. Yesturday was crazy as we finally opened up our pasture for girls and when we brought them in we fed grain (to get them in). My MIL has to stand next to one mare as I do with mine to make sure they get their grain and noone steals it. As she was standing there, it was getting late, I decided to throw hay. My MIL was still standing with the mare, I decided to help her and take off this mares halter. She came up behind me and said "let me do it", I said ok no prob. She said "other wise (Summer) Queens name, will walk away from me". I really don't want to cause problems. I am not trying to take her horse away. I have only done what I did with Summer because I am in that paddock alot. I don't go out of my way for her. I don't go in the paddock to see her. I don't really care if Summer likes me. I just wanted her respect. I feel I've accomplished that. Have any of you been thru something like this? I hate confrontation. I like peace. Especially because my horses are on her property.
         
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        10-07-2010, 08:25 AM
      #2
    Green Broke
    Bump. Making this get on the forum to read. Thanks.
         
        10-07-2010, 09:27 AM
      #3
    Green Broke
    I'm not sure I understand your question. I'll share my experiences, and maybe that will help you.

    I have kept horses at agistment places (ie. Purpose horse keeping places where you pay a weekly fee for a certain service) but now I keep my horse at a friend's property. There are about 5 other horses on the property, and they are generally in the same paddock as mine.

    I do not have anything to do with the other horses. I go in the paddock, get my horse, take him out, feed, brush etc, then put him back. If one of the other horses comes uncomfortably close (my horse is one of the least dominant) then I swing the end of my lead rope at them to back off. I don't pet them, or feed them. I don't say their names. Its not that I don't like the horses, they are lovely, but I don't think its safe to have horses crowding around people when dealing with a specific horse.

    Honestly, if someone "worked" with my horse to get his respect I would be quite offended. I don't really care if people have his respect or not, I do and that's all that matters. I know that if someone swings a rope at him he'll back off, and I know if someone walks up to him he'll let them catch him. That is good enough for me. I wouldn't want other people unnecessarily handling my horse, if they need to move him for whatever reason, fine, but otherwise he is my horse and I deal with him.

    I don't believe horses should be fed in a paddock, unless they are all fed at the same time and take the same amount of time to eat, and even then I'd rather not. I think its best to catch and remove the horse, feed, brush etc, then put it back. I do not think there would be any problem if you just caught your horse, took him out, did everything and put him back. That is what I recommend you should do. Other horses are other people's problems.
         
        10-07-2010, 09:35 AM
      #4
    Started
    I don't think you should be giving treats to a horse that doesn't belong to you without the owners permission.

    Also, do you really think that giving a horse treats gets them to respect you? Because it doesn't. Sometimes they can actually cause a horse to get very disrespectful and pushy. What are you going to do if that happens with your MIL's horse? That would be a lot bigger problem than her staying away from you when you are in the pasture, I can tell ya that.
         
        10-07-2010, 09:39 AM
      #5
    mls
    Trained
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by sandy2u1    
    I don't think you should be giving treats to a horse that doesn't belong to you without the owners permission.

    Also, do you really think that giving a horse treats gets them to respect you? Because it doesn't. Sometimes they can actually cause a horse to get very disrespectful and pushy. What are you going to do if that happens with your MIL's horse? That would be a lot bigger problem than her staying away from you when you are in the pasture, I can tell ya that.
    Absolutely 100% agree.

    I strongly discourage my boarders from bringing any treats into the paddocks. Food is a necessary thing in the world. Respect and mutual liking cannot be bought, it has to be earned.
         
        10-07-2010, 10:12 AM
      #6
    Green Broke
    The thing is we are family and everyone pets, everyone feeds, and everyone gives treats. Ok, here is a scenerio: What if said "family", friend or BO is not there and there is a emergency that needs attention NOW? What would you do? What if you didnt have a horses respect or the horse didnt trust you and you absolutley needed to get ahold of it to take care of it? What then? I do not give treats as a way of respect. I make them move. As with Summer, because she is very distrustful and doesnt like you to be near her, I made her move for me so that if anything did happen and I needed to catch her she would face me and I could get a halter on her. Saskia you said that if someone walks up to your horse and they needed to catch him he would let them. Summer wont! Another scenerio: what if you went out to a paddock/pasture to get your horse and they all followed you to the exit door and one pushes his/her way thru to get out. And let's say this happens way too often. You ask the owners to help make sure they train that particular horse not to be pushy and the owner doesnt do it. How frustrating that would be to have to deal with that day in day out. You have to remember, this is my in laws and we all take care of these animals together. All of the horses in this group are pretty respectful when it comes time for treats/food. They know with a look/ a movement from us it means to stay back. Not saying that nothing would happen because things do happen but we stay on top of making sure they respect our space. If it gets too much we walk out and that's the end of that. Anyway, I understand my MIL's feelings. I don't work with any of her horses except a quick lesson on respect and stay out of my space. I think that is a safe practice with anyone having a herd to deal with.
         
        10-07-2010, 10:38 AM
      #7
    Weanling
    I was very confused by your OP... When you talked about wanting respect, I was thinking the horse was agressive and would charge you and get in your face, but the problem is that it doesn't want to be caught?

    If the horse is just keeping to itself and not bothering you, leave the horse alone. You don't need to teach it anything. I find it very annoying to be crowded by a bunch of horses wanting treats, especially if the one I want is the bottom of the pecking order... I wouldn't encourage that behavior.

    Overall, I would suggest talking to your MIL about it. It's her horse and whatever she says is what you should do.
         
        10-07-2010, 10:42 AM
      #8
    mls
    Trained
    Question - are you the only one who can't catch this horse? Or is your MIL the only one who CAN catch this horse?
         
        10-07-2010, 10:48 AM
      #9
    Started
    If this is a family thing and it is understood that everyone can do whatever they want with each others horses, then what is your MIL upset about?

    Your posts are very confusing.

    Quote:
    You ask the owners to help make sure they train that particular horse not to be pushy and the owner doesnt do it. How frustrating that would be to have to deal with that day in day out.
    Is the horse pushy and disrespectful or standoffish and fearful? I am totally confused. If the horse is disrespectful and pushy then IMO treats will only make it worse.

    You also said in your last post that you don't work with your MIL's horses except a quick lesson in respect and staying out of your space, but in your first post you talk about how the horse was fearful of people and standoffish. You even talked about calling the horse up. You are contradicting yourself.

    If someones horse was trying to bite me or get pushy with me while I was in the pasture getting my own horse, I would move that horse out of my space. IMO, that is a reasonable response on my part. It would be wrong for me to run out there and start training the horse every day and even worse for me to go out there and give the horse treats. It is not my horse. Get what I'm saying?

    While it is frustrating when people aren't working with their horse like you think they should, it is not your horse and you do not have the right to take it upon yourself to train it without the owners permission.
         
        10-07-2010, 12:54 PM
      #10
    Green Broke
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by ptvintage    
    I was very confused by your OP... When you talked about wanting respect, I was thinking the horse was agressive and would charge you and get in your face, but the problem is that it doesn't want to be caught?

    If the horse is just keeping to itself and not bothering you, leave the horse alone. You don't need to teach it anything. I find it very annoying to be crowded by a bunch of horses wanting treats, especially if the one I want is the bottom of the pecking order... I wouldn't encourage that behavior.

    Overall, I would suggest talking to your MIL about it. It's her horse and whatever she says is what you should do.
    Sorry about the confusion. I didnt explain it clearly. In the begining when we got the arab she was aggressive and charged me. I just stood my ground and now she has respect for me not to do that. Yes the true problem is not wanting to be caught or touched. I agree with you on talking to my MIL and it is her horse. What she says goes. Not a problem.
         

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