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Barn Drama!

This is a discussion on Barn Drama! within the Horse Talk forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Horses category

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        10-20-2010, 10:28 PM
      #11
    Yearling
    In the first post I sent her giving her the advice I wasn't swearing at her. It was after she got all defensive and rude to me.

    And Amarea I actually do appreciate advice on my riding and training of my horse. I want to be as good as I can be and if that involves getting advice form people around my barn then yes I want it.
         
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        10-20-2010, 10:30 PM
      #12
    Yearling
    No, in your first post you criticized her horse.

    Regardless, you were wrong to act that way. You had no right to act like that.
         
        10-20-2010, 10:31 PM
      #13
    Green Broke
    But if you got it in that form you would get defensive, anyone who owns a horse would, its naturally human. You have to compeletly take the bias out of it, wipe your mind and pretend your one of us, then re read that conversation and look where you went wrong.
         
        10-20-2010, 10:34 PM
      #14
    Started
    I personally don't think it is your business to tell her how you think she is a bad rider and her horse doesn't do what you think it should. If you don't live at the barn 24/7, then you have no knowledge how often she is out there, maybe she makes sure you are not there when she is. You should have just said" I can't ride your horse anymore".. end of story.
    To tell her "you are not a good rider, but I am such a good rider and can do so much better than you and the trainer likes me so much she give me expensive horses to ride" is wrong and rude.
    You handled it wrong.
         
        10-20-2010, 11:04 PM
      #15
    Yearling
    I never told her she was bad and that I was better. She was the one who told me I sucked. If you guys reread it you'll see that I never said she sucked, I just gave her some tips on how to be better. And no I don't live at the barn 24/7 but i'm very close friends with one of the working students. They're in the barn till like 9 at night most times and she never sees Lady X. Barn is closed at 10.
         
        10-20-2010, 11:14 PM
      #16
    Green Broke
    So, why do you care if she ever goes to the barn to see her horse? It gets fed, watered, lives in a nice place, she takes lessons on it, that's the life my horse would love! Haha.
    All im saying is you could have done that better, maybe you like critisism, but a lot of people don't, so don't give it unless you get payed to or are asked, that's what I've learned.
         
        10-20-2010, 11:21 PM
      #17
    Yearling
    You are proving in your responses that you see no fault in how you approached this so I really don't know what else to say. You were incredibly rude to her pure and simple. Suck it up, be an adult and apologize. It's no wonder you have barn drama.
         
        10-20-2010, 11:27 PM
      #18
    Yearling
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Beau Baby    
    Me:
    Alright so I've come to the decision that I can't ride Brass for you anymore. Not because I'm to busy but because I don't agree with the way your training him. Your horse has no sense of bend and roundness, not even at the walk. They should go round naturally, at least at the walk and Brass can't even do that. You need to lunge him in side reins a whole hell of a lot and you need to get out there everyday and work with him.
    I can't tell you what to do but you need to know that your not ever going to get any better with him if you don't go back to the basics. and I'm saying this as a friend trying to help you move up in your riding.
    Wow. Here you do essentially tell her that her horse sucks because he can't do something that should come naturally to him. Then you tell her SHE sucks by telling her she won't get better.

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Beau Baby    
    Me:
    That's complete poo poo an you know it. You just had me riding him a couple times cause you were "busy" and the like month or 2 or 3 before that you only came out for jump lessons. I highly doubt ts neck problems because he NEVER bends. I'm not going to start arguing wit you AGAIN but when you guys just barely scrape by at shows or when you get eliminated or yelled at by Tricia you can NO LONGER came ignorance because I TOLD YOU how you can train him properly and you blew me off!
    Again, telling her that they suck by stating that they barely scrape by.


    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Beau Baby    
    Me:
    so your 8th place and being eliminated is not barely scraping by? I always here her yelling at you to bend properly and get the proper canter lead so don't b****** me and lie about how you guys do so well and how you actually ride your horse. I'm not f****** stupid
    Again, insinuating she sucks.

    I'm sorry but you are incredibly condescending in what you wrote to her. It's no wonder she doesn't like you. Yes, that's blunt but my god... Look at how much you just slammed her! IMO, your barn problems are stemming from your attitude and the fact that she doesn't like it. Look how many times she asked you to STOP sending her messages and you kept going and slamming her into the ground?
         
        10-20-2010, 11:29 PM
      #19
    Green Broke
    I agree with what has been said. In the future, if you want to have this type of conversation with someone, it is more appropiate to say it to their face so that it at least has the chance to take the form of a discussion, rather than a monologue. If possible, it is always good to have a third party (i.e. Your trainer) present to moderate if the discussion becomes heated and either party becomes unfair to the other.

    More importantly, if this is someone that 'hates' you, what on earth are you doing working their horse for them? Of course not everyone in life is going to like you necessarily but if someone is already causing you trouble, working for them is not a smart decision, especially if you don't have to.

    Edited to add: If someone had have sent me a message/email similar to your first one, I wouldn't have even bothered replying, not worth taking seriously. Sounds like you are both young. When you get older you will learn more appropiate techniques for dealing with these types of situations so that a more positive outcome can be achieved.
         
        10-20-2010, 11:30 PM
      #20
    Started
    I agree with others who have posted. The way you talked to her was far from helpful. You were very mean and hurtful to her. Even when she told you to stop responding, you went on and on. You do not own the horse and are not invested in it financially, so it is none of your business. As long as the animal is not being abused, then stay out of it! You would be wise to spend your time developing your own horsemanship skills and riding ability instead of running around the barn worrying about what everyone else is doing.
         

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