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Barn Drama... Is it really worth it??

This is a discussion on Barn Drama... Is it really worth it?? within the Horse Talk forums, part of the Keeping and Caring for Horses category

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        05-20-2010, 10:12 PM
      #11
    Banned
    ^^ Exactly. Just because you were away means nothing. Actually it means a whole lot....it means she probably knew she wasn't supposed to and did it anyway. If she did it once she can do it again, and who wants all of his progress ruined by something he's not supposed to be doing anyway?
         
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        05-20-2010, 10:38 PM
      #12
    Yearling
    ^A good point. In fact, if the trainer and the BO are two different people, I would even go so far to telling the BO and either A.) have the BO talk to the trainer and/or B.) have her look out for the trainer using him like that next time.
    After all, he's your pony. They shouldn't be doing anything you don't want them to do.
         
        05-20-2010, 11:29 PM
      #13
    Yearling
    He doesn't belong to me, but everyone in the barn calls him my pony and he is considered mine. I'm training him and I take care of him, so it's like I lease him, I guess.
    If it happens again, I'm going to talk about it with her. I just don't want to cause tension with her right now because I want her to let me ride Chief some more.. I know that sounds stupid but its not so simple, I can't just tell her I don't want her to use my horse, like, she might get mad or something? ;\
         
        05-21-2010, 12:11 AM
      #14
    Weanling
    After reading your last message, I'm a little confused. Is this pony actually yours? Do you pay a leasing fee to use him?

    Even if this is a lesson pony that you primarily work with, unless there is someone contract you have with it's owner making him yours, it isn't for you to say someone else can't ride him, even if you don't like the way they ride. If this is a lesson pony, the pony needs to be used in lessons for him to pay his keep. If the pony is just sitting around waiting for you to come ride him, he's not paying his own bills.

    If this is an actual lease, you should bring your contract to the BO and remind her that no one else is supposed to ride him.

    At the barn I used to ride at, all the barn girls had a lessons horse they called "theirs". They wanted to be the person who rode the horse, and they'd get upset when someone else rode the horse, or rode him poorly. But it wasn't for them to say no one else could ride the horse, it wasn't theirs, and other students needed the experience of riding the horse for whatever reason.

    If I am interpreting what you are saying correctly, honestly I would be very annoyed if I was the BO and you complained that someone else rode a pony that I was trying to use for someone to learn on, and to make money on.

    If I'm incorrect in my interpretation though, my apologies.

    For your second problem, I'm not really sure what to say, except just take it in stride and you'll be back on that horse soon enough.
         
        05-21-2010, 12:22 AM
      #15
    Banned
    If this horse isn't YOUR horse (as in you pay to keep him, feed him, etc) then theres really nothing that can be done about your first problem. You can only point out that the rider from the video may not be suited for him, and that he may not be ready for advanced lessons and jumping for the reasons you stated. However what she chooses to do is up to her.
         
        05-21-2010, 08:49 AM
      #16
    Yearling
    I train horses for my barn owner... during the time I am working with them she & all instructors usually consider him mine. If I were to tell Doreen I don't think my friend should be riding him and carefully explain that he cannot jump what she was expecting him to, she wouldn't let the girl ride him again and she wouldn't have him jump that again; If there is ever a problem or question about this pony, she would come to me before she went to the pony's owner. The women who owns him, does not take care of him or ride him... she is waiting for me to train him first. So basically, until the time I have to give him up (which might be soon, now) he is my horse.
         
        05-21-2010, 10:32 AM
      #17
    Banned
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by IheartPheobe    
    So basically, until the time I have to give him up (which might be soon, now) he is my horse.
    Nope, you are merely the primary exerciser of the animal.

    I'm going to assume the horse's owner is paying either the BO or the actual barn trainer to get this horse ready for her to ride. If you're merely the exercise rider and not being paid, you have no say in who may or may not ride this animal.

    Don't rant about someone riding 'your' horse without permission, when the animal has never been yours, and in fact never will be.

    I might be annoyed if I were the animal's actual owner if I hadn't given permission for the horse to be used in lessons, but if she's given consent, it's not up to you to decide who does or doesn't ride him.
         
        05-21-2010, 12:10 PM
      #18
    Weanling
    About your second issue with the other horse, could you make an arrangement to have a private lesson him? You could say something like:
    "I really enjoyed riding Chief and I'd like to ride him again, but seeing as I had some issues last time maybe I could arrange a private lesson on him so you can focus on just us. I think that would really help me overcome the issues I had on him. I'm feeling some loss of confidence and I think a private lesson would benefit all three of us."

    Then, if as you say, the the other horse was the one causing him to refuse, it won't happen because it will just be the three of you, no other horses.
         
        05-21-2010, 12:21 PM
      #19
    Showing
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by IheartPheobe    
    I have two problems at the barn right now... and I just sort of need to vent about them. I know I rant a lot, but, seriously, I'm getting fed up. There is no other barn around here that I like, I really do love my barn, and drama there is pretty rare, but this week has just been too much. I seriously considered quitting more than once over the week just to get away from my barn.
    So, problem number one. We have another barn in Virginia, with one of the best instructors I know teaching there, so I decided it might be fun to get away for the weekend & have some fun down there. I was under the impression no one would ride my pony while I was away, because I usually only ride him on the weekends & allow my BO to use him in strictly beginner lessons where he won't be pushed to canter or jump (he is green to both) during the week. My BO went with me to Virginia, and the only person teaching this weekend was Doreen, my trainer. Now, I totally trust Doreen. I love her and she is an amazing person and instructor. So you can see why I did not expect this at all.
    I got back from VA on Sunday, to come home and find out that my pony had been ridden in an advanced lesson while I was away. Now, that did annoy me, but not too much, because I do sometimes let other people canter him, and I figured they would be smart enough not to jump. Just to check, I called up Marissa (barn friend). She then told me that a friend of mine had ridden him because I was away (even though I left no orders for him to be exercised while I wasn't there and I honestly don't mind letting him have a few days off..) and she had not only cantered him but jumped him too. The cantering thing would normally be okay with me. He has gotten very good with cantering lately and if you stay out of his way and let him figure it out for himself he is nearly perfect. Marissa told me she'd taken some pictures and videos of this girl cantering & she sent them to me via facebook... I was appalled. This girl was totally begging for diaster. On my green pony, she was sitting there, leaning forward with her reins incredibly short, leaning on his mouth, as he tore off around the ring, totally out of control. I am NOT okay with that. If she doesn't know how to control him, Doreen should not have let her ride him. He is a perfectly sane horse, but if you are riding his mouth too much he will get very, very nervous, and that is just what happened.
    Now, even AFTER he had taken off like this, and was already so worked up and scared, she decided to jump him. I was completely shocked. My pony could hardly be considered safe to jump. It is a pretty strict rule that the only person allowed to jump him is me, and he is barely calm when I jump him. She decides not only to jump him, but to try and do bounces, which he has NO experience with what so ever. He completely took off with her, and didnt' stop for a long time, because jumping, quite frankly, terrifies him and the more jumps you add, the more scared he gets. I was just so pissed off that she would be so stupid, and now i'm afraid to try and jump him, because honestly, he's probably right back where we started, terrified of jumps and out of control. I am just so angry about this whole thing and now I might have to give him up because I told my mom I could have him trained, and I did, and I was even on the road to having him calm jumping, and now I have no idea where I am with him. I don't know what to do and I also am starting to mistrust my trainer because she let this girl do these things on him...
    Problem number two. I recently started takign jumping lessons once a week on a fabulous horse named Chief. He is amazing, I have always had a thing for him, and after undergoing some training he has turned into one of the best horses I know. We do really well together, and I was planning on showing him in hunters this summer. Yesterday, we were doing a 2'6 jump, when he started refusing. It wasn't just because he felt like it or I wasn't steering- there was a little girl that we were leading over it and she kept running into Chief and I while we were approaching the jump. Getting too close really really scares pour Chief, but that's basically his only vice. Even so, when he refused, my BO was furious. She kept telling me he has never refused before, she has no idea what is going on & if I don't get him over that jump she is going to be really mad. After another refusal, we got over it perfectly. The next time, he refused again but we got over it after that too. We did some small outside line courses and he was PERFECT, and I was pretty good too. I was sure we'd ended on a good note and I really wanted to ride him again, because although we'd slipped up a couple times, it was a pretty good lesson... but on the way out of the ring, I asked my BO if I could ride him again, and she goes, "I don't think so. I'll consider it. But I don't really think so, after what happened." WHAT!? He refused a couple times so now I'm banned from him!?! Personally, I think I'm a good match for him and everyone tells me we look amazing on flat, and I've gotten some jumping compliments too. I absolutely LOVE Chief, and I was planning on taking lessons on him for a long time... I am just so discouraged and feel like I'm such a bad rider now. I don't know what to do. I'm not sure if I interpreted what she said wrong or what, but I'm pretty sure she's not going to let me on him again. I really just need some advice, because I am just so frustrated with everything that has gone on at the barn this week.... :( If you read this whole thing, thank you so much, hhaha.. it helps that someone listens.
    About problem number one...is it possible that your trainer wasn't around or even knows that your horse was ridden? If yes, then you definitely need some questions answered. I certainly would have some big trust issues with her from then on.

    As for problem number 2...YIKES...I'm a firm believer there always are 2 sides to the story so I can only advise you with what you posted.

    I would start off by challenging the person responsible for riding your horse and see why this happened. It's absolutely unnacceptable and you would have been responsible for injury to this rider had she fallen off while riding your horse. I would make sure to figure this particular problem out and not let her get away with it. Why did the owners of the barn not prevent this from happening? Again, where was the trainer in all this?

    Secondly, again I can only go by what you posted, but lessons are for learning. It does not make sense to me with the information you gave, why a trainer would prevent you from riding a lesson horse. I feel like there is more to the story than you're telling us, and if not-I strongly suggest finding yourself another trainer.
         
        05-21-2010, 02:39 PM
      #20
    Started
    If the pony isn't technically yours, you don't have any authority to give anyone permission to ride him or tell anyone to stay off of him. That's for the owner to decide.

    As for the second issue, maybe there's something going on that you're not aware of. Maybe your instructor was right in thinking that you're not a good match for the horse and you just don't realize it. My old trainer stopped giving lessons to this girl because she was very timid and kept making the lesson horse nervous and flighty. The horse was an airhead and needed a confident rider (she makes a fine lesson horse as long as the rider isn't spineless and clutching the reins for dear life), but I don't think the girl realized it. That's not the only reason my trainer stopped giving her lessons, but that was part of it. Now the horse is all wired up and obnoxious under saddle. Anyway, I'm not saying you're a bad rider by any means, but it could be a situation where your trainer is seeing something that you aren't. I think you should ask her why she doesn't want you riding Chief. There might be a good explanation. I do think she should have given you an explanation right off the bat, though.
         

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