Big vent/stress out/self indulgence session! Sorry!
Sorry guys just have to get some stuff off my chest!
I am going insane. It has been a year now since I've had a horse. I've had them since I was 10, been riding since I was 4 and now that I want to move on I cannot for the life of me, find a suitable horse. Every time I think things are going right, it falls apart and something gets in the way.
Riding is a huge part of my life, it is my stress relief, my comfort, my sport, my hobby, my life in general. It is my adrenalin rush when things work, it's also the source of many a frustration but I still love it.
I've tried to think what else there is that I'd like to do, but nothing can hold my attention and focus like riding does, it's like a drug to me, it makes me feel better when I'm down and takes me away from the pressure of life.
I've looked at so many horses, and get to the stage of putting a deposit down, and then they fail the vet check, they injure themselves just before I commit, I lose my job... I don't know, it's like I'm just not meant to have horses. Something keeps me from buying them every time.
I was going to get to the point of leasing a friends breaker, all good and well, then the night before I was due to pick her up my mate had to change her plans.. I had another night to sleep on the idea and managed to come up with so many negatives that it put me off the lease and I cancelled it.
I don't know what I am supposed to do, riding is such a huge part of my life but something just does not want me to be doing it. So many people just seem to be able to flit from horse to horse, sell one buy one sell one buy one... and I can't find ONE!
Ok vent over, appologies!