BIL rant... - The Horse Forum
  • 1 Post By waresbear
  • 4 Post By DieselPony
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post #1 of 6 Old 10-02-2012, 08:20 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
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BIL rant...

My BIL is a ....well, I don't know what to call him. He owns a few thoroughbreds and usually races them down in Az. A few years ago, he came by for a "visit" and dropped off one of his bred TB mares. (uninvited and unwanted) Supposedly, she was bred to a high dollar stallion and the foal would be of good quality racing stock. (Or some crap along those lines.) The mare eventually had a little filly.

Fast forward 2 1/2 years. BIL has been to see the filly that was born maybe twice. I don't even know if she's registered at this point. This past spring, he moved up here to help the family farm. He brings in tow the TB's he owns. But he never comes over to claim the TB filly that was born here. The only training that's been done was limited and at my insistance (not my horse and wasn't given permission to mess with it.) so she's been halter trained and leads somewhat...but doesn't even stand tied well. (so you have an idea of her training.)

Finally...after the BIL has been here 6 months, he finally says he has room for her. DH goes out this morning and tries to load her himself. (he's not very good with horses.) He ends up breaking two lead ropes and she ended up with a bashed lip. So DH finally gives up and leaves frustrated.

I decide to go out and work with the filly. She's a big girl- bigger than my 3 1/2 yr old quarter horse and definately outweighs her. She has no problem dragging me around, so my idea of working her next to the trailer and allowing her to rest next/in the trailer wasn't going to work. So I boxed her in to the opening of the trailer with a couple of panels. I grabbed a small hand held crop and would tap her rear until she would look/sniff/show interest in the trailer and then I'd release the pressure and just rub her. I continued in this manner until she eventually loaded all on her own. No one..and especially the filly is hurt. Took about 30 minutes of my time.

I call DH to let him know filly is loaded. He says his brother had planned on getting her tomorrow. That he (BIL) was going to ace her and use a twitch if needed. I was like .... but anyways, she was loaded so no need for any of that stuff. He calls BIL and tells him that she's loaded and he'll bring her over.

The BIL and I can't STAND each other. He hears that I loaded the filly on my own and tells my DH to have me unload her, he doesn't have time for her today and he'll come get her tomorrow. Again...I'm like ... .

DH gets mad and says no..we're not unloading her and he (DH) comes over and gets her. DH calls to tell him (BIL) he drops her off and BIL hangs up on him. BIL is PISSED!

*sigh* On one hand, I'm thrilled I don't have this filly around the farm anymore. Less work for me and she was causing problems with my horses. She was also starting to crib. (like her mother who is thankfully not here anymore.)

On the other hand, I just don't get what is up with the BIL. And I've never EVER heard of anyone using a twitch (or ace for that matter) to load a horse. You would think he could actually say, "thanks" for me taking my time and loading his filly in the manner I did verses using ace and a twitch. The brother in law just makes me want to:

Ok...rant over.

"Riding a horse is not a gentle hobby, to be picked up and laid down like a game of solitaire. It is a grand passion. It seizes a person whole and, once it has done so, he will have to accept that his life will be radically changed." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
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post #2 of 6 Old 10-02-2012, 08:31 PM
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Maybe he was dropped on his head as a baby & his brother wasn't?
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post #3 of 6 Old 10-02-2012, 08:39 PM
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Location: Alberta
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Oh boy. Well he can't have some race horse being all mannered and knowing something, have to show off his macho-ness by being able to muscle around a horse . But sounds like you picked the good brother. Strange how some siblings can be so different...

I have already decided that in my short time of dealing with in-laws, is that they make no sense.
My "FIL" ("'s because I'm not married, but technically common-law now I guess) went up one side and down the other on me one night because I ruined his son's life. His son was living at home at 19 years old, working for free with no plan in life, spending the nights in a bar when I met him. He is now in a trade, making good money, 100% supporting himself and helping me as I finish off my degree and he is planning on going to school next year as well. We have a plan for out life and saving up a down payment for land of our soon. But I ruined him. Logic fail.
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post #4 of 6 Old 10-02-2012, 08:43 PM Thread Starter
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I defintely have the right brother! You can't imagine how excited I was when I first started dating DH when he talked about his brother and being in the horse business. I was so excited that I would be able to talk to someone...anyone...about horses. I couldn't wait to pick his brain and talk about horses and training and go riding. That first night that I saw him, I just knew it was never going to happen. I was right. No matter how polite I try to be, he goes out of his way to be rude to I stay as far away from the in laws as I can. *sigh* :(

"Riding a horse is not a gentle hobby, to be picked up and laid down like a game of solitaire. It is a grand passion. It seizes a person whole and, once it has done so, he will have to accept that his life will be radically changed." -Ralph Waldo Emerson
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post #5 of 6 Old 10-03-2012, 02:04 PM
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Families are...complicated.
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post #6 of 6 Old 10-03-2012, 06:32 PM
Join Date: May 2012
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Haha complicated is saying it nicely. I have in-laws and people on my side that I like to avoid.

Think of it not as a failure but as a success in how not to do it.

Don't look in a horses mouth for a gift.
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