It isn't just that people will dump a horse if they don't get a magical bond. Too many believe that 'bonding' is the way to control a horse - and I find that scary.
On a recent thread about bitless riding, I was told:
"if you have a good relationship with your horse it shouldn't matter whether you ride with or without a bite......just my opinion..."
"I think it doesn't matter what you ride in , in the end its about "does your horse trust you" and if he does than you have the world"
I tried pointing out that my mare & I get along quite well for two different species. If she is hurt or scared and sees me, she will come to me to make the bad thing go away. We've had 4+ years together, including quite a few challenges. It isn't a mystical bond, but I am certain I'm her favorite human. But that doesn't mean squat if we start cantering down an ATV path and she gets excited. I can't do some Vulcan mind-meld via my butt and take control of her.
The effectiveness of a bit or the various bitless tack as means of communication can be debated, and that debate doesn't matter for this thread. But when I saw a Parelli YouTube video the other day and he asked the audience something along the lines of "How many of you want a great relationship with your horse? How many want to be able to get your horse to obey because he wants to
", I turned it off.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a willing partner. I think most of us want to get our horses there, if they aren't already. But if you want to stay safe, you need a horse that will obey even if they don't
want to. My horse doesn't understand what would happen to her if she was hit by a car doing 60 mph, nor does she know in advance where the roads are where that could happen. If she gets excited enough about something, I'm not sure she thinks at all. The bond I need is that I provide the mind, and she provides the muscle. Then we are both doing what we do best.
I do agree they have various personalities, and they need to mesh. If your horse doesn't match your needs - too hot-blooded, or too lazy, or he just doesn't like you (and my Appy gelding tolerates me, but nothing more after 4 years), then selling might be the right option for both. Note: the females in my house adore my Appy gelding, and he thinks they are great, so he stays. None of the females in my house have ANY desire to ride my mare, but she stays by MY vote.
But someone who seeks to own the Black Stallion will probably end up like the woman who seeks the perfect husband, or the man who seeks the perfect wife - lonely!