I'm sorry you had a bad experience with the last horse! There IS a horse out there for you, just be really selective. You CAN find the right horse by using both head and heart. Using your head means you find a horse at your riding skill level. Using your heart means you use your head first and THEN decide in your heart if that horse is one you can form a partnership with.
For me, I've always used my head first; the right horse for what I do. Then heart...as...can I build a partnership with this horse. But twice the heart wasn't there as well.....both mares, and I just could not develop the "heart" relationship with them. (I''m a gelding gal all day long). When both worlds met....is when I bought my WP gelding back in 2002. He's my heart horse and a top performer...I couldn't ask for more!
I've very particular about what I want in a horse, as I compete AQHA with my horses,...so the willing mind and talent HAS to be there. I have a list...."wants/needs and don't wants/needs"...and I follow that list to the tee. So maybe you should create a list of want you want/need for your riding level, and what you don't want/need for the same. When you look at horses, take someone with you, and that person needs to know your list like the back of their hand. Every horse I've bought, I've gone to see several times....with the exception of one; a 3 YO WP prospect mare who was bought in partnership with my trainer and a friend as a financial investment. The mare came from Texas, an impeccable trainer and farm, stud on the premises etc. She did not have the talent needed for the level we wanted her to be at. And as sweet as she was....my "heart" could not partner with her.
So make you list, be choosy, see the horse a few times, and both your heart and head will meet when you see the right one.