Can somebody read my long story and help? Really fraustrated now - Page 3 - The Horse Forum
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post #21 of 29 Old 01-11-2013, 02:19 PM
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I find this a little strange, too. You want a challenge, yet get scared when your horse bounces in a trot, you buy a saddlebred and get intimidated by the giraffe neck in front of you.

Learning how to ride is boring, sometimes, lots of repetition there. But keyword is LEARNING. Where im from, we say no master ever just fell out of the sky, they all had to learn first.

If you have physical problems with English, try western......I know a lot of people who started riding late in life, western, and do very well. Do groundwork, you'll get to know your horse much better. Do the basics, do them well, that in itself is a challenge.
And don't insist on a certain breed, not all quarter horses are dead heads, not all Arabs are flighty and not all drafthorses just plod along......
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post #22 of 29 Old 01-11-2013, 02:28 PM
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What do you want to do and why are you riding and what is your trainer teaching you? This in particular struck me: "He had a very high neck and head and also started his trot with a "jolt" which resulted in me panicking and pulling on the reins and stopping him too soon.He was also lazy and after a couple of times of me stopping him would not move at all."

The horse isn't lazy -- he's refusing to move because every time he does, you panic and pull on the reins. You've effectively "trained" him to not move. Is your trainer training you to be empathetic with the horse, rather than simply characterize him as "lazy" because he's sensitive enough to pick up that you don't want to or can't ride him forward?

You get scared by forward-moving, high-headed saddlebreds, yet other breeds (all of them? really? you should try something like my draft cross when she's in a sparky mood) are "boring?" You can't have your cake and eat it too. Sounds as if you need a level-headed schoolmaster, who will teach you what you need to know, and you will never know as much about movement and balance as an older, well-educated horse. I'm learning from my schoolmistress every single day I ride her and 95% of the time, she's beautifully behaved and sensible and I have been riding pretty continuously for over 20 years. Yet there is still more to learn, as my position could always be better, aids could always be lighter, better timed, and so on. And the horse (for reasons unbeknownst to me, as I trained her), knows exactly how the rider *should* be (and usually isn't) in order to allow her to achieve balance and lightness. I think she is patiently waiting for me to get there and quietly nudging me along. Saying you have "mastered" the easy horses only tells me that you haven't yet learned the basics of horsemanship. Those "easy" schoolmasters have far more to teach you than stop, steer, go in a few different gaits, and not fall off.

Last edited by thesilverspear; 01-11-2013 at 02:33 PM.
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post #23 of 29 Old 01-11-2013, 02:47 PM
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I would like to ride a boring horse. One that will walk, trot, and canter quietly. Who needs to have a horse to argue with all the time? We have husbands we can argue with............

Carpe Diem!
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post #24 of 29 Old 01-11-2013, 02:48 PM
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Great post above me by thesilverspear, lots of good info there.

The consensus seems to be: go back to the basics. You seem to be skipping lots of steps, and I think that is what is causing your frustration. It is unlikely that you have gone through so many horses and that they are all completely to blame for not working out. It is more likely that they are too much horse for you because you haven't mastered the basics of horsemanship.

But don't give up! It can be tedious and frustrating but the overall reward is limitless. Welcome to the world of horsemanship.
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post #25 of 29 Old 01-11-2013, 03:02 PM
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If I'm understanding your story correctly, you are a frustrated adult rider who:

1) started riding 3 years ago with 10 months missed
2) has owned 3 different horses
3) has ridden with 3 different trainers
4) has tried several different horses (on trial to buy or in lessons)
5) has ridden in at least 2 different disciplines
6) is now looking to try another discipline AND possibly anther breed of horse
7) gets bored if it's too easy
8) wants to be challenged
9) needs to build confidence as well as riding skills

and you want to know how long it will take you to be able to ride a horse properly.

No matter what discipline or breed of horse you choose to ride, it's what you do consistently that makes the difference.

Choose one discipline. Find a trainer you like and who is experienced with teaching beginner adult riders. Stick with that trainer and dedicate yourself to learning that discipline.

Work through the 'boring' stuff as well as the challenging stuff.

When your trainer agrees that you are ready for your own horse (one that won't be too much for you and you won't be bored off in a few months or a couple of years), have him or her help you find the right horse.

Becoming a competent rider takes time - that means years - especially when you are starting out as an adult. How long it takes depends on:

1) your physical ability
2) your fitness level
3) your commitment and dedication
4) how often you ride and practice what you are learning in your lessons

Take your time and enjoy the process. There really is no 'destination' when it comes to riding. I have been riding for most of my life and am a professional trainer and coach. I am still learning and (I hope) improving.

The journey is worth it.
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post #26 of 29 Old 01-11-2013, 03:16 PM
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I too am confused...

You need to decide what you want out of riding. Its not all rainbows and butterflies. You will fall eventually so you need to come to terms that you are participating in a dangerous sport, even on a deadhead lessons horse.

Horses just aren't for some people. That being said don't give up but you do need realistic expectations.

Cutting out all other breeds will be your dumbest decision. There are plenty of very worthy horses out there and you will never know until you give them a shot. You may even be surprised to find your favorite breed change once you've been exposed to a good horse. I'm personally an Arab fan but have ridden multiple other breeds and love them all the uniqueness of their breeds. I have ridden amazing appys, mustangs, QH, OTTBs, percherons, paints, morgans, TWH, arabs, among others as well.

Being close minded and pigeon holing yourself into one breed, discipline, etc will only hold you back and you will never progress.

Go back to the basics and figure out what you want in riding then stay open minded and let things naturally fall into place. Your heart horse and perfect match could be anywhere, you just have to be open to the possibilities.

Good Luck!
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post #27 of 29 Old 01-11-2013, 03:17 PM
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I would try to look around for a different barn, even if you have to go further. One that has trainers that will motivate you and teach you to ride correctly whether the horse is a little lazy or skittish. Trust me, a knowledgeable and honest trainer makes a world of difference. I've had a trainer telling me, oh he's just lazy and slow. Uhh, not true. He is a ball of energy when let loose in the arena but under saddle it's so hard to get him to move well. I was sure it was the badly fitted tack and the fact I was doing things wrong, but no it was all the horsies fault my riding was fine. I finally switched trainers, and at one point I rode an energetic horse that sometimes ignored my signals, and the new trainer really taught me how to deal with it so I didn't freak out and managed to control him.

You should try and see what are the other trainers in your area, and start by not looking at what they teach but whether they are competent and you like how you progress with them. That's more important than a discipline. Also, you're at a point where hard work (with a good trainer of course) is necessary to build your balance and develop that feel you need. I have been riding on and off for 6 years now (good and bad trainers), and it took me 5 to finally reach a point where even if I didn't ride for a while (like a month for example), I'd be able to hop on a horse without having lost too much balance or that "feel".
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A ride a day keeps the worries away!

Last edited by Hidalgo13; 01-11-2013 at 03:24 PM.
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post #28 of 29 Old 01-11-2013, 05:18 PM Thread Starter
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Thanks for the help.I did get many positive pointers here like I was rushing things a little too much and it takes years to build a secure seat while I getting angry at myself as I don't think it is that secure yet.

Today I had a lesson that I was thinking of not going to,but I decided to face my fears of failure and just go no matter what. The barn just got a new hackney pony in,which is safe but a bit speedy.I asked to ride him today .The trainer asked if I would be ok as he is a bit fast but I said I wanted to try him anyway.And to my surprise he is a road pony and I was literally flying around the ring on him,but was able to stay on in balance without any big issues.Even the trainer looked a bit puzzled and said she wondered why was I able to ride him happily yet get scared of my much slower horses.I told her I thought i had a fear of height and the pony was speedy but only 12 hands so I did really good on him as I was not scared of getting hurt on him which is silly since ponies can be quick but still my brain is convinced that they are safer ? Anyway we decided we would ride him till I was really confident on him before moving on to horse.A good day for me :)
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post #29 of 29 Old 01-11-2013, 06:00 PM
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That's very good news! Yes fear often blocks our abilities to ride and we need to fight it to improve ourselves.

A ride a day keeps the worries away!
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