When I hadn't seen her yet and the crowd was clearing, I went outside. A woman was holding her, and I talked to her. I found out she was 13, and had been used for Dressage and Western leisure riding. This mare was very sweet; reaching over to get petted, and just overall very comfortable with strangers.
The owner explained that she had gotten a new horse and was down-sizing. I nearly asked her, "Are you looking to get rid of her or get something for her?" (I knew this slightly sad-looking mare wouldn't sell for anything worth getting.) I held back and she went into the ring... and sold for $30. I was still in the aisle when the owner came back through, touched my shoulder, and said, "You could have had her," and walked away. I all but ran outside to try and aisle-trade with whoever bought her.
All I saw was a cattle truck and a semi.
I feel absolutely terrible and can't stop thinking about this mare; how I could have stopped her from ever getting on that truck. After seeing that truck I even went sprinting through the stalls again, frantically looking for "Jaz."
While I've seen horses get on that truck and left unaffected, I just can't get myself over this one. I'm literally, as we speak, on the brink of tears -- and this is hours later. I watched colts, nags, perfectly primed stock get on that trailer and didn't blink an eye. But this mare gets on it and I'm about to break down... Any advice to help me get out of this hump??