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Cant understand my daughter

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        03-19-2012, 10:33 PM
      #11
    Started
    Its great she met a friend but its sad that her friend is leaving soon, I think 4-h is a great thing for younger kids to be in!
         
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        03-19-2012, 10:36 PM
      #12
    Foal
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Casey02    
    Its great she met a friend but its sad that her friend is leaving soon, I think 4-h is a great thing for younger kids to be in!
    I believe 4-h is wonderful for children as well, but when she did western pleasure a lot of the kids were snobby to her, and she just kind of shuts down. I don't know how to help her make friends :(.
         
        03-19-2012, 10:38 PM
      #13
    Started
    Maybe seeing a thearipist would be a good thing? Its not just for crazy people, maybe she just needs to get somethings out?
         
        03-19-2012, 10:40 PM
      #14
    Foal
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Casey02    
    Maybe seeing a thearipist would be a good thing? Its not just for crazy people, maybe she just needs to get somethings out?

    Im not against the idea, I just don't know how to approach her about it. Do I just set up an appointment and tell her she's going no matter what??
         
        03-19-2012, 10:40 PM
      #15
    Banned
    I'm 13, I used to think to be told that you can only have certain horse for certain disciplines. HA! I laugh at that now as that was 4 years ago. I bought my first horse as an 8 year old(now 12) and she was trained under saddle and had some experience. I completed her training. And now she does ALL western disciplines(halter-to cutting you name it) and has done some level 1, 2 dressage. I have met many girls, my age, who have wanted horses only for social purposes and to 'make them look good'. I have NEVER had that outlook. I want horses for a career. It sounds as though your daughter is taking control. I agree COMPLETELY that she needs to take responsibility. I groom, ride, and take FULL care of my baby, Charm. And my dad's horse, Boston, as he is out of town for several months. I would suggest not getting her another horse at all, if she wants another horse make HER train it like I did mine. There are good all around horses out there you know, take mine for example, she never refuses anything. It would bring your daughter a lot closer to horses. Good luck!
         
        03-19-2012, 10:41 PM
      #16
    Started
    Quote:
    I do not disagree, I just thought with her being so young it was vital she social with people interested in her riding discipline. I do feel like she thinks mom is some kind of a black portal of never ending money she can just spend and spend every time she wants something new. I wasn't raised spoiled, and I had to work for everything I got, I guess I just wanted my children to enjoy what I never got to, in the end it might be getting out of control. Don't get me wrong, she isn't a bad child, but she is really shy, and emotional. So I just kind of lean in to her ways sometimes, however I made it clear were not going to see any horses to purchase. My husband just keeps poking the lion with this situation, and makes crude jokes about how her 8 year old brother can ride better than her, it really does not help anything

    What bothers me more than her thinking that you are the never ending money supply is that she sees horses as objects. I understand that you want her to enjoy the social aspect of horses. I really think you mean well. However, she has a far more important lesson that needs learning. She needs to learn that animals are living beings and must be cared for no matter what. Make her get out there and clean stalls, feed and water. Make her ride her horse for the sole purpose of giving him exercise.

    When she understands that horses are living beings that cannot be disposed of and knows that she will have to care for the horse even when she tires of it, then she will be able to better tell you whether she wants another horse or not.
    smrobs, Northern, HagonNag and 2 others like this.
         
        03-19-2012, 10:43 PM
      #17
    Trained
    Sadly you daughter sounds like a spoiled princess
    robohog likes this.
         
        03-19-2012, 10:44 PM
      #18
    Started
    I think you should talk to her and explain that its not a bad thing its for the better that she talks to someone, and when she is in there they thearipst can get in to the horses talk with her, I wouldnt go buying anymore horses thought haha, there is no reason she can't use the horses you already have
         
        03-19-2012, 10:47 PM
      #19
    Foal
    Quote:
    Originally Posted by sandy2u1    
    What bothers me more than her thinking that you are the never ending money supply is that she sees horses as objects. I understand that you want her to enjoy the social aspect of horses. I really think you mean well. However, she has a far more important lesson that needs learning. She needs to learn that animals are living beings and must be cared for no matter what. Make her get out there and clean stalls, feed and water. Make her ride her horse for the sole purpose of giving him exercise.

    When she understands that horses are living beings that cannot be disposed of and knows that she will have to care for the horse even when she tires of it, then she will be able to better tell you whether she wants another horse or not.

    She never stopped grooming her or paying attention to her, she just stopped riding her. Basically, she feels like its no longer fun to ride her mare, so then we started back up lessons, and then when spring started coming she started riding my husbands gelding. Normally she doesn't get a lot of lessons, because 1. I can teach her riding from my 30 years experience, and 2. At this point there just repeating what she's already been told and knows how to do, she's just not applying it. My daughter does know how to ride, she just cuts herself short, and whenever I try and help her by pushing her a bit she gets really emotional.
         
        03-19-2012, 10:48 PM
      #20
    Trained
    I agree w sandy2, I would not give her another horse if she neglected to care for and ride the first. Its either a passion, or it is not.
    KaleylovesCharm likes this.
         

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