Well first of all, don't feel guilty! She doesn't feel guilty swinging her legs around at you, and she doesn't feel guilty for leaning on you, and being disrespectful. "Feeling bad" will get you nowhere.
As for actually getting her to pick her hooves up, I don't know too much about it. Ask her to pick her foot up, give her a chance. If she doesn't, lean well into her, dig her, unbalance her. Once you have her foot up, it's important to reward her by putting it back down when she is STILL. Try not to put it down when she is fighting because she will always win.
As I said, I don't know much about this, all the horses I deal with have pretty good manners. Maybe someone else can help more