Choosing Family over horses? - The Horse Forum
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post #1 of 20 Old 04-10-2009, 09:00 PM Thread Starter
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Choosing Family over horses?

I would basically like some opinions on my situation.

I found out that i'm pregnant (yay) a few weeks ago. I'm about 10 weeks along. One of the first things that came to mind was the horses.

I currently have 3 horses. Gem, a 10 year old app gelding. My fiance and I have owned him for 2 years. I know what he's going to do and feel comfortable around him on the ground. Vega, a 6 year old app mare. We've also owned her for 2 years. While she can be a bit mareish at times, I basically know what she's going to do. Montana, a 15 year old qh gelding. We've had him for about 7 months.

We got him because I was getting frustrated with Vega and wasn't enjoying horses anymore. He did bring back that spark, but there have been a few things that I was not ready to deal with, nor was I told at the time of purchase. He is very antsy in cross ties, he paces in his stall, he likes to kick out (when you're grooming him, picking his feet, getting his feet trimmed). I do admit that during the winter, I didn't mess with them that much (not only was it cold, and snowy, but there is no indoor).

Now with the warm weather, I would normally be out there riding and stuff, but I've decided not to ride during my pregnancy.

My fiance and I were also thinking about the future. Once the baby is born, how much time will we have to devote to the all 3 of the horses? Would it be more manageable to deal with 2 horses instead of 3?

So I have come to the hard decision of either giving Montana back to his previous owner or selling him.

I realized today when we saw the horses, that if I were to do anything with Montana, not only would my life be in danger, but the baby's as well. He is very pushy, very bossy to the other horses, and I honestly do not feel safe taking on a 1000# animal when I'm pregnant, or after I have the baby. My fiance is supporting me in this and does agree that we don't know Montana as well as we know Gem and Vega.

I really hope I'm making the right decision. I love Montana, I really do, but IMO he needs a lot of work and possibly an attitude adjustment and I know my life is going to change and my priorities are going to change once I have this baby, and I really don't think its fair for him to sit.

As for Gem and Vega, my fiance is very much involved in them. I do feel more comfortable working around either one of them, than Montana, so we would be keeping them.

Thanks for reading this.
Warm chocolate chip cookies and brownies and milk for everyone!
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post #2 of 20 Old 04-10-2009, 09:09 PM
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Oh man. I love warm chocolate chip cookies! SO gooey! Hummm.... I think the, oh yeah... CONGRATS! Back to topic, I think the amount of time you spend with the horses is really going to depend on you and Honey and the amount of help you get from family or friends. I was able to start riding about three months after my son was born, but it was way less, like one or two times a week... and it stayed pretty much that way for several years. But my husband works alot and isnt around all the time. My mom works a little later then me so a lot of times it's dark or to late to ride. Now that he's five I am able to clean stalls and ride horses while he plays outside when the weather is nice so I get to ride much more. I geuss it started getting to where I had more riding time in the last two years or so....

I can't tell you whether giving your horse back or selling him is the right thing to do but I can definitely say that sticking with 2 horses is going to make your life easier. Another thing I did notice is that, I was always a very brave rider, tons of confidence and after I had my boy I lost all of my confidence and had to work hard to get myself brave again and I'm still not nearly as brave as I used to be so having a more trustworthy mount would definitely be a plus....

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post #3 of 20 Old 04-11-2009, 10:37 AM
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I think you are doing the right thing....especially considering the horse needs work. Babies and horses are a lot of work...there is only so much you are going to be able to do.

GRATZ ON THE PREGNANCY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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post #4 of 20 Old 04-11-2009, 01:32 PM
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Congrats on the good news. Like Farmpony said, it depends how much help you have. Would your hubby go with you to the farm? Maybe bring the baby to watch you ride; or even if he stays home for 2 hrs with the baby it'll give you some time. You wont be taking nice long trail rides for some time, but it'll give you time to keep the horses worked. 2 is always easier than 3 for most things, but if your thinking bc you know what the first two are going to react like, that'll it'll give you time to deal with the horses WITH the baby, your mistaken. Kids are too unpredictable. I have a 3 year old and have yet to go out to the barn with her and just myself. She's only been out there twice and both times my SO was there to watch her. Couldnt do it without him.
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post #5 of 20 Old 04-11-2009, 03:12 PM Thread Starter
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oh I am not saying to get rid of one because of how the others will act around a baby. Anytime I go by the horses my fiance will be there, until the baby is old enough to know better.
We do plan on buying a house with land and bring the horses there, so it'll only be a short trip from the house to the barn.
I would never bring the baby out and leave him/her alone while I rode or anything like that, or let him/her wander around the barn unsupervised. That's just a diaster waiting to happen IMO.

I'm just looking at it from a safety point of view. I know horses can be unpredictable and I'm not saying my other 2 are angels, as I know they are not, but to risk being around a horse that has almost kick me on a few occasions and the farrier, along with him being pushy and spooky at times, is not worth the risk of me and the baby.

I guess its also a comfort point of view too. I am more comfortable around Gem and Vega than Montana, and I can only guess the reason why is because I've been around them longer, therefore I know them more than Montana.
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post #6 of 20 Old 04-11-2009, 11:27 PM
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Darylann!! Congrats!! Oh wow, that's huge news!
I wish you all the best in your pregnancy, you and Tom must be just ecstatic!

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post #7 of 20 Old 04-12-2009, 12:12 AM
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I'm going to just tell you what I would do if it were me. And it might just be in a few years, so good to think about it now.
I would lease out or sell Montana. I would also continue riding right up until I couldnt stay on, whether due to nausea or being too big. I am big into researching, and so do not take a Drs advice to heart until I have it backed up with my own research. That being said, until you're actually showing, there's virtually no chance of baby getting hurt unless you are kicked right in the gut. Plus, if you continue to ride, you will also stay fit. This helps more then you can imagine once its time to give birth.
My last pregnancy was pretty bad in terms of nausea, so I had to quit my job working in the kennels of a pet store. Not great when the tiniest thing makes you faint or want to puke. But otherwise I was fine. Just make sure you dont over work yourself, and you'll know when you get to that point. Pregnancy is not an illness, so no need for bedrest unless you are actually at risk.
Congratulations! If you need any help with anything pregnancy related I am estactic to give it.
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post #8 of 20 Old 04-12-2009, 09:42 AM
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When I found out I was pregnant I had just bought my 4 year old prospect. I decided to immediately sell because it just wasn't right to make a horse wait around in the pasture. I kept my older horse that I'd owned for 12 years. He enjoyed "pregnancy leave" with me. Now that my daughter is 8 months old I just bought another jumper. I really think I am just beginning to have enough time for 2 horses now that she's 8 months old.
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post #9 of 20 Old 04-12-2009, 10:02 AM
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WOW!! Congrats on the pregnancy! That is so exciting. Be sure to keep us updated!

I think you're doing the right thing with Montana. If you don't feel safe around him it is better to find a new home where someone can work with him and give him something to do.

I wish you the best of luck!
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post #10 of 20 Old 04-12-2009, 12:46 PM
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Congratulations! Also, good luck w/the purchasing of a house/land and building your family's future!!

"There are two ways of spreading light
to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it"
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